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If you'd told me two days ago that my biggest problem would be unionizing rodents, mythic pets, and a rival shop agent with a coupon for "Soul-Binding Treats," I would've laughed, called you delusional, and gone back to checking for fleas in the carpet. But at 12:01 AM, the Dao Beast Pavilion wasn't a pet shop. It was a living, wheezing, neon-lit warzone.
Bubbles—my goldfish-turned-flood dragon—performed swirling loops in his bowl, zapping the tip of my nose with little static hearts.
Piper's Phoenix Chick was teaching itself to toast bread by glare alone.
The Hamster Union had barricaded the treat aisle with chew toys, little signs reading "NO OVERTIME AFTER 11," "DANGER PAY FOR PHOENIX HANDLING," and "MOP THE FLOORS OR WE STRIKE."
And the system?
> [SYSTEM EVENT: LEGENDARY CUSTOMER INCOMING]
Bonus: Arena Mode Unlocked.
Penalty: Loss of shop reputation, union strike, mystery "hamster mutiny protocol."
The bell over the door dinged—so hard it almost lost its screws.
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1. Arrival: The Storm Before the Arena
In swept a man who seemed woven out of reputation points: tall, silver hair, gold-rimmed glasses, a coat made from enough spirit silk to pay my rent forever. Behind him trailed a girl in disciple's blue, notebook clutched to her chest. Even her shoes looked expensive, and I'm pretty sure her pen cost more than my register.
The system painted overlays as they entered:
> [FATED CUSTOMER: GRANDMASTER JIN]
Wallet: Infinite.
Request: "An honest test."
Risk: He reviews on Celestial Yelp.
Subquest: Do not allow apprentice to unionize with hamsters.
I tried to greet them, but Bubbles leapt, spun, and spelled out WELCOME in fizzing stormlight.
Piper—hair full of embers from the phoenix—whispered to Charlie, "That's a real grandmaster. Bet he's never even seen a hamster union."
Charlie, with Bubbles' bowl clutched tight, simply beamed. "If he gives bad reviews, does he get zapped?"
I hushed them as the grandmaster approached, gaze sharp as a receipt printer jam.
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2. The Challenge Is Set
Grandmaster Jin surveyed the chaos with polite horror. "I was told this shop was unique, Shopkeeper. I require my apprentice to be impressed. That will not be easy."
Before I could answer, the hamster union sent a delegation to negotiate appearance fees. Their tiny lawyer (wearing a monocle) handed the apprentice a contract. She squinted, took notes, and asked, "Are the benefits indexed to inflation?"
> [SYSTEM WARNING: UNION-APPRENTICE ALLIANCE FORMING. COUNTERMEASURES RECOMMENDED.]
I coughed. "We, uh, offer union members an all-you-can-eat seed buffet after events, and all customers get free hamster stickers with every contract?"
"Acceptable," the lawyer nodded, tucking away his briefcase.
The grandmaster clapped his hands once, and the air changed—subtle, electric.
"Let the trial begin."
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3. Arena Mode: Chaos on the Mats
Arena lights—(read: glowing orbs and a suspicious number of disco balls)—descended from the ceiling. The shop transformed. Cages rearranged themselves, hamster wheels formed makeshift stands, and the cash register announced, "WELCOME TO ARENA MODE. ALL SALES FINAL."
The first event: Pet Display.
"Present your most exceptional contract beast," the apprentice ordered, voice crisp.
Piper, never shy, stepped forward and presented the Phoenix Chick, which promptly ignited a nearby packet of pumpkin seeds for drama.
The hamster union countered by forming a living pyramid, waving a tiny shop banner.
Bubbles zipped in loops, spelling "VOTE 1 BUBBLES" in the air.
Charlie clapped, Piper cheered, and the inspector (back, clipboard in hand) scrawled "Possible fire code violation (again)" in red ink.
> [SYSTEM MINI-QUEST: Most Impressive Beast]
Bonus: Shop Rep +30
Risk: "Mystic Animal Explosive Event" x2 if Phoenix or Dragon are angry.
Grandmaster Jin eyed Bubbles. "A Flood Dragon Guppy. Remarkable. Did you—train this yourself?"
I opened my mouth to answer, but the system popped up:
> [DO NOT CONFESS TO ACCIDENTAL EVOLUTION]
Instead, say: "Destiny guided his fins."
I nodded. "Destiny guided his fins."
Bubbles winked. The apprentice scribbled: "Possible liar. But pet is cute."
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4. The "Impress the Customer" Trials
Trial one: Obstacle Course.
System rearranged the aisles into a winding track.
Piper's Moon Rabbit activated Lunar Step—hopping over Bubbles' bowl and narrowly dodging a spark.
The Phoenix Chick, show-off that it was, incinerated the hurdles (and one Emergency Cleaning Talisman).
The hamster union fielded their best runner—Cheeks, a beige blur—who ricocheted from treat bin to treat bin, gathering "evidence" for their next strike.
Charlie, not to be left out, released Bubbles, who, with a flick of his tail, created a mini-tornado, scattering snack packs everywhere and finishing the course by splashing the apprentice's shoes. The hamster union declared him the winner.
> [RESULT: EVERYONE GETS POINTS]
Shop Rep: +20
Hamster Approval: "Pending investigation into unauthorized snack distribution."
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Trial two: Pet Talent Show.
Piper's Moon Rabbit recited multiplication tables in interpretive dance.
Phoenix Chick performed a "flame and feathers" routine, spelling out "SHOP BEST!" in soot.
The hamster union, now in full "Solidarity Forever" mode, performed a choreographed conga line with the Mystery Egg's newly hatched Griffin Chick.
Bubbles performed the classic "bubble ring spell"—then created a water sculpture in the shape of the grandmaster's face, complete with tiny glasses.
Grandmaster Jin applauded, the apprentice snapped photos, the inspector muttered, "I'm going to need more forms."
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5. The Rival Shop Makes Their Move
No sooner had we survived round two than the door banged open.
In stalked Ms. Sensible, the rival shop agent, flanked by two "Understudy Hamsters" wearing store uniforms. She surveyed the pet chaos and sneered.
"Dao Beast Pavilion? More like Dao Code Violation. Grandmaster Jin, I invite you to my shop—no fires, no dragons, and no unions."
The hamster union glared. "Squeak!"
Translation (system overlay): "Tell that to the last pet who left. He came back for the snack plan."
Piper bristled. "We have the only phoenix chick this side of the river."
Charlie added, "And the best flood dragon guppy!"
Ms. Sensible smirked, pulling out a treat bag. "Bet your union can't even organize snack time."
The hamster union exploded into full-scale picketing, waving signs, "NO RIVAL SNACKS!" and "KEEP SEEDS LOCAL!"
> [SYSTEM QUEST: Defend the Shop's Honor. If Rival Steals a Pet, Reputation -50.]
I took a deep breath, wiped hamster seed from my hair, and summoned my best shopkeeper voice. "Here, every pet gets a contract. Every contract is a story. Try to poach a pet, and you'll have to answer to the union—AND the system."
Thunder rumbled. Bubbles spelled out "SHOP LOYALTY" in water and sparks.
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6. The Final Challenge: Apprentice's Choice
The grandmaster nodded, impressed. "Apprentice, your verdict?"
She looked at her notes, the pets, the union, even Ms. Sensible (now pinned in place by the griffin chick).
She declared, "Dao Beast Pavilion passes. Best pet shop in the province. My next contract will be here."
A cheer went up. Piper hugged her phoenix chick. The hamster union did a victory lap. Bubbles looped in joy.
The system chimed:
> [SYSTEM REWARD: Legendary Customer Event Cleared!]
Shop Rep +100, New Shop Feature: "Destiny Shelf"
Hamster Union: Negotiating bonus seed pay
Inspector: Filing three new forms, but smiling
Rival Shop Agent: Leaves in a huff, trailed by snackless understudy hamsters.
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7. Nightfall: Cliffhanger
With the legendary event over, the shop started to settle.
Charlie's mum poked her head in, saw the mess, and said, "If you're not mopping by the time I come back, I'm bringing the council."
The system pinged:
> [NEW QUEST: CLEANUP, OR FACE COUNCIL DOOM.]
Bonus: Midnight snacks for all pets
Penalty: Shop locked for 24 hours
The hamster union began organizing the cleanup, singing as they swept. Piper passed out stickers. The Phoenix Chick tried to light the mop on fire. Bubbles spun one last heart in his bowl.
Then—
The bell dinged. A silhouette appeared. A voice said, "Shopkeeper, I've come for a contract. And I've brought friends."
I gulped. The union readied their signs.
The next chapter was already starting.
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