I always thought if I died young, it would be from overwork, stress, or maybe choking on instant noodles while cursing my editor.
Not falling off a tree… trying to rescue my ex-wife's cat.
Yet here I was—clinging to a flimsy branch, arms outstretched, reaching for a smug-looking feline named Princess Tuna, who stared back at me like I owed her something.
"Come here, you fur-coated demon," I muttered, edging closer. "Your mom's already ruined my life once. I won't let you be the sequel."
She meowed. Innocently. Deceptively.
Then she leapt to safety.
I didn't.
Crack.
---
Everything after that was a blur of pain, stars, and vague regrets.
Like not finishing the final arc of my most popular webnovel: "The Duke's Cursed Bride."
Too bad. My readers would never find out how the villainess died in Chapter 5.
Well... except me, apparently.
---
When I opened my eyes again, I wasn't on the sidewalk. Or in a hospital. Or floating in a tunnel of light.
I was... lying in a silken canopy bed, surrounded by red velvet curtains, rose gold chandeliers, and perfume that smelled aggressively expensive.
And boobs.
Not someone else's—mine.
"What the hell—?!" I shrieked, sitting up—and immediately wobbling under the unfamiliar center of gravity.
A mirror stood at the foot of the bed. In it, a stunning young woman stared back at me: long obsidian curls, crimson lips, violet eyes that gleamed like a warning sign.
Lady Seraphine Noir.
The villainess I created.
The one I killed off in Chapter 5 for being too fabulous to survive.
---
> [VILLAINESS SYSTEM 3.0 ACTIVATED]
Welcome, Host, to the "Grace With a Glare" Protocol™!
First-time user detected. Syncing memories…
⚠️ Warning: Host is male. System recalibrating gender filters.
Mission 1 Unlocked: Slap the Heroine with Elegance.
Reward: 300 Drama Points
Penalty: Death by Scandal
---
"No. Nope. Absolutely not," I groaned, massaging my temples—which felt suspiciously smoother than I remembered. "I refuse to isekai myself into my own novel just to play some sassy murder Barbie."
> [System Alert]
Sass Level: Acceptable. Fabulous Points: +10
---
A knock came at the door.
"Lady Seraphine, the Prince awaits you in the ballroom," came a maid's voice.
The Prince. Right. The one Seraphine was supposed to publicly humiliate for rejecting her. The one who executed her five chapters later.
And here I was.
Half-dressed, half-delirious, 100% doomed.
I looked down at the tight corset, the glittering gown, the cursed cleavage—and I realized one thing.
If I wanted to survive in this story, I'd have to act like the villainess I created.
Or die trying.
I smirked.
"Bring me my heels."
---
END OF CHAPTER