The next morning brewed with heavy breezes, a lingering token from last night storm. The first thing I laid my eyes on was the bag of money Harada - san gave me. I covered my face with my hands shame washing over my thin face; the terrible thing I was about to do yesterday, the act of kindness a complete stranger for that time had shown me… I was totally reluctant to accept this gift but Harada – San left without giving me time to refuse or protest. And immediately, My thoughts drifted to my father filling my heart with bitterness.
Three months had passed since he had left me, not a single letter was written, not a single messenger was sent to check on me. Nothing.
It was not a type of silent treatment, of punishment. In contrast, it was because believed in me, but it still hurt worse than an actual punishment or cutting off all ties with his sole remaining family.
My father had raised me to be strong and dependent on myself, he encouraged me to work and fend for myself, but this was still not an excuse.
True enough, my job as a nurse was satisfying though stressful at times, but every chance I was granted to be able to draw out a smile from a suffering patient, I felt content and complete, I wished for nothing more or so I thought at that time.
I was left with my loneliness and worries, I had no one to draw a smile out of me. That was my father's job, but all what he had managed to bring out of me were concerns and frustration, rooting them deeply into my pained heart was that fact no reasons was given, no explanation offered, no matter how hard I tried to sit him down and understand what was going on, what was the purpose of his traveling? What goal was driving him? Answers never came, and the conversations slowly turned into a silence paving the path between us more distant and desolate.
Pacing back and forth, despondency chaining my hands from looking after the house, I wished that nice man would visit me again, I wished if the last night repeats itself so I can encourage myself with his soft words as I kept gazing at the bag of money; I knew what I should do… the least was to repay his kindness.
After half an hour I was lurking near the Shinsengumi headquarters, time was passing slowly because of my nervousness and fear. Those going by probably thought I was some sort if a spy or a lunatic. I never stopped to expect someone to show behind me at any moment asking me harshly and suspiciously of what I was doing there, what my purpose was and who had the guts to send his most obviously stupid spy but then, all my worries went away when I saw Harada - san leaving the headquarters leaning on his long spear. I yelled rushing at the man, forgetting any decency or manners.
"Harada - san!"
The latter turned around barely missing getting his face stuffed against the tightly wrapped bundle, the sweet smell trailing into his nostrils, leaving him as surprised as wanting. He finally looked beyond the packed treats saying:
"Kikyo - chan, what are you doing here?"
The thought of him remembering my name filled my heart with a warmness that I had never expected in my entire life to receive it from one of those notorious men. I answered with a stupid smile on my face:
"I could not stop thinking about your kindness and generosity with me yesterday, and I had to show you my gratitude! It is the least I could do…"
Harada - san seemed surprised as if he'd forgotten the whole thing then said as if a thunderbolt just hit him:
"Don't tell me you've spent the money I gave you to buy me a present?!"
And when the look of surprise on his face and my stupid smile both lingered, refusing to accept this realization of my miscalculations, I replied while laughing:
"Don't be harsh on me, Harada - san! I didn't spend all the money, just a small amount! Won't you take it? It's a mere token of gratitude!"
The man didn't know what to make of the situation, he turned around at loss, his eyes closed in embarrassment when they fell on the two surprised guards who stood at the headquarters door wondering what was the captain of the tenth division doing beside a girl with a strange hairdo. His face color changed into a mixture of red and white so the guards pretended they saw nothing. When the silence stretched beyond my small zone of comfort, I called out him again to wake him up from his shock as my own face colors started to change as well, rushing with blood and leaving my cheeks red with awkwardness and uneasiness. Did I do something wrong? My intentions were pure, perhaps even naïve, approaching the wolves den and offering them a gift that was not blood and flesh. I lowered my face and cast my eyes down, murmuring uncomfortably:
"Harada – san, you're making me feel bad about what I'm trying to do although I thought it was a nice thing…"
"You're a stupid girl! I swear you don't know how to handle things!"
Harada – san sighed in frustration as he wiped his forehead, but this judgment did not sit well with me, and I started to defend myself desperately:
"This isn't true! Are you saying you won't accept my present? Harada - san, you're…"
"I had no idea you were rude to women, Harada -san!"
A sharp voice interrupted us and we both looked at the direction from which that teasing voice came from. A man in the prime of his twenties, a hunting aura traveled by his side, and resided luminously in high narrow dark eyes. Despite the dangerous air whiffing around this person, he was thin like a maple, his dark skin overshadowing his slim features, and donning an air of melancholy to his person, though his smile beamed brightly and teasingly. He had the grin of a cat, and probably, from the wild aura emanating from his gaze and smile, he had the sharpest claws of that feline species. Neither me nor Harada – san were able to detect his presence, again like a cat he had been watching our exchange for his amusement.
"Okita - san, you never change… we are not some Bakufo traitors you need to sneak up upon!"
"I do not sneak when facing my enemies, I charge head on and they still would not have a chance."
The third man approached us, allowing me to see his countenance more clearly; his face bones were bugling out like the front of a ship, flattened like a hirami fish. At first I thought his eyes were menacing, but as he kept approaching leisurely toward us, as if strutting with his thin cane – like legs into a theatrical show, I noticed that he actually possessed calm eyes that gave those whom he looked upon with care and kindness some sort of trust and safety. That man, named Okita – san as Harada san had called him, spoke as he shook his head in playful frustration.
"Honestly Harada - san, you refuse this little girl's gift after the troubles she went through to bring it here and find you! She had braved a great danger venturing here to our headquarters!"
Harada could not argue against these words, and they filled my with pride before I realized that this man's words were true, who in their mind would approach willingly the wolves of mibu to deliver a sweet treat!
"If you knew where she got the money…"
Harada replied sighing and rubbing his head in anticipation of an upcoming headache, but the man exclaimed:
"What importance does this have? The important thing is that this gift is prepared especially for you! You're cold - hearted…"
I found the thin man's words funny and without my noticing, a smile was drawn on my face as I sided with him, nodding at every teasing word he directed at Harada – san. The latter couldn't keep up with him and said smiling:
"No one can match you, Okita - san. You're really making me look cold - hearted…"
He said this in a tone of surrendering as he took the sweetmeats:
"All right, I've accepted your gift Kikyo - chan! Thank you very much!"
"Do not stop here, you still owe the girl something!"
I looked up between the two men. Harada – san did not seem to catch the meaning at first, then he asked promptly:
"Did you take care of that matter?"
"Of course!"
"And no fuss was made?"
"Unfortunately."
I kept steering my wondering gaze between the two men, unable to comprehend what were they referring too. But since they chose to bring this subject in front of me, it definitely concerned me. Another bag of money was tossed into my hands. I was no beggar, and a flush of anger quickly took over the merriment in my face.
"Do not look so mad, Kikyo – chan. This is your rightful payment from the Isawa's family."
I could not believe my ears, Harada – san had actually memorized my plight, and went alongside his friend into the trouble of securing my right. This gesture reminded me that despite all the bad rumors surrounding these group of people, they were still the ones chosen to protect this city and its citizens. They spared a no – name girl like me a thought, and brought me justice.
Tears brimmed ready to fall at any moment, I was ready to prostrate down on the street, onlookers be damned, but Harada – san immediately stopped me, and Okita – san commented.
"Do not be overwhelmed little girl, this is our duty."
I nodded happily, muttering thanks through sobs.
"Well, you have to excuse me for now…"
Harada - san then turned to go, as his men were waiting for him but once again, the dark – skinned man stopped him with a mischievous grin:
"Wait Harada! I made you accept that sweet girl's present, and helped you out with her problems without asking any questions… furthermore, I am still standing here… what kind of manners do you have? I have a right to that present as much as you do!"
"Of course!"
I chimed along the thin man, and Harada – san started to unpack the wrappings sighing:
"You're right again… my bad… my bad…"
Okita had a piece of the sweets and expressed his liking to it much to my joy. I knew these were busy men , patrolling the city and all so I excused myself saying that the pieces are barely enough for two men after Harada – san offered me some, but when I finished saying this, I found a piece of candy between my lips. My mouth froze as Harada - san exclaimed in alarm:
"I know you love children but do you want to chock the poor girl?!"
"I'd say the same if you were the one feeding her!"
Okita - san said indifferently as he laughed loudly. His slim fingers lingered on my lips while the two men kept teasing each other. My cheeks blushed at the prolonged contact. For some reason, I didn't want to sallow the bite, begging the gentleness of those lithe fingers to keep caressing my lips despite the fact that his hand was actually cold, but I was enjoying warming it with my trembling breaths. It was a chilly morning, but the moment Okita – san walked toward us, the vernal scent of a spring yet to come and bloom radiantly and beautifully gusted through my entire being, anchoring the smile those two men had brought upon my face and rooting a sense of familiarity and comfort inside my desolate heart.
Finally, to my dejection, Okita - san moved his hand away for I couldn't hold the bite any longer and swallowed it thanking him for his kindness.
I was about to excuse myself for the second time when the two men turned suddenly as if they had sensed a ghost. A commanding voice rang through the gate, and while Harada – san's stood in alert and ready to jump into a fight right now if given an order by that voice, Okita's eyes narrowed even further but he still straightened his stance, his fingers tugging at the sword by his waist.
Curiosity got the better of be, and I peeked between the two men to see for myself who was that figure who caught their attention in such a dominating manner.
My eyes widened to absorb the sight they beheld down to its minute details, and my hand moved unconsciously clutching at the fabric covering my heart and pulling at it… Mt lips parted with a breath of disbelief, and my heart started to race as if faced by an immortal stepping out of the heaven's gates, gracing our humble earth with his poised stride and fiery eyes.