Subtitle: Lucia's Redemption Arc Sponsored by Chamomile and Corporate Loopholes
Scene: A luxury rehab center in the Swiss Alps.Name: Tranquilité Plus Ultra™ — For The Criminally Ambitious.
Lucia arrives in a custom helicopter with her initials painted in diamond dust. She steps out in a cashmere prison-orange jumpsuit—custom tailored, of course.
Concierge (with a clipboard):
"Welcome, Ms. Lucia. Please list any allergies, medications, or tax shelters."
Lucia (putting on sunglasses):
"Allergic to jail. Medicated with market dominance. Shelter? The Cayman Islands."
Montage: Lucia's Daily Schedule
6:00 AM – Guided meditation to release "illegal assets" from the soul
8:00 AM – Financial trauma therapy with other billionaires
10:00 AM – Brunch & insider trading (hypothetical, for therapy purposes only)
12:00 PM – Rage yoga (sponsored by Pepsi)
2:00 PM – Write her tell-all memoir: "Booked, Billed, and Bougie: How I Stole the Market and My Ex's Heart"
5:00 PM – Private wine tasting, featuring grapes aged longer than her prison sentence
7:00 PM – Live-streamed apology that doubles as an NFT drop
Cut to: Evan, watching her rehab docuseries from a couch in IcelandShow title:"Lucia: From Ledger to Legend"
Evan (to camera):
"She finessed prison into a content farm. I'm both scared… and a little inspired."
His phone buzzes.📲 Incoming Wire Transfer from: LuciaAmount: $4.20Memo: For your therapy. Don't spend it all in one place.💋
Cut to: Kodi & NUKE watching her docu-series like it's reality TV gold.They're sitting in a VR lounge inside a decommissioned CIA data vault.
NUKE:
"She's monetizing shame. It's kind of genius."
Kodi (nodding slowly):
"She weaponized accountability. This woman could broker peace treaties with exfoliant."
Meanwhile, in Rehab:Lucia walks into Group Therapy wearing a silk robe printed with dollar signs.
Therapist:
"Let's talk about what you've lost."
Lucia (deadpan):
"I lost 4.2 billion dollars… and somehow made a brand out of it. Can we talk about what you've lost? Those loafers say 'tenure denial.'"
Final scene: Lucia's "graduation" ceremony from rehab.She gives a TED Talk on "Monetizing Mistakes Without Apologizing Too Much."
Lucia (at the podium):
"What I did wasn't a crime. It was a misunderstood merger. And I stand before you today, not just a free woman… but a walking write-off."
Thunderous applause. A confetti cannon explodes behind her—accidentally paid for by Swiss taxpayer dollars.
End shot:A helicopter lifts off. On the tail, a new logo:
"Lucia, Inc."Coming soon: A wellness brand for people too rich to be wrong.