Chapter 23: Sins, Secrets, and Sarcastic Subterfuge
Star City. Where family drama comes with a side of ninja assassins and existential dread. "Seriously, Oliver, you need to get a hobby that doesn't involve brooding in a cave and dealing with your murderous ex-father-in-law. Maybe stamp collecting? Or competitive interpretive dance?" Adam mused, teleporting onto a high perch in the Arrow Lair.
[SYSTEM: Temporal Jump Complete. Destination: Star City. Objective: Observe Arrow S04E13: "Sins of the Father". Suggestion: Utilize abilities to exacerbate family tensions for comedic effect.]
"Exacerbate tensions? System, you're speaking my language," Adam thought, munching on a bag of popcorn. He watched as Oliver confronted Malcolm Merlyn about Thea's bloodlust cure, the air thick with unspoken resentment and dramatic pauses.
"Well, this is an awkward family dinner," Adam muttered, just loud enough for the System to register. "Anyone got a reality TV show pitch for these guys? 'Keeping Up With The Queens and Their Existential Crises: Now With More Assassins'?"
He then saw a League of Assassins member, looking suitably menacing, during a skirmish. Adam decided to add a little flair.
[SYSTEM: Illusion deployed. Target: Malcolm Merlyn. Effect: Minor Annoyance.]
Suddenly, to the League assassin's eyes, a giant, glowing "KICK ME" sign materialized on Merlyn's back. The assassin, mid-strike, paused, staring at the sign, utterly bewildered. Merlyn, oblivious, continued his dramatic monologue.
Adam stifled a giggle. "Masterpiece. Absolute masterpiece. Merlyn, officially adorned with a sign of his own making."
Later, he found Felicity, frantically typing, trying to decipher some League encryption. Adam decided to offer some "help."
He teleported directly behind her, leaning over her shoulder. "You know, Felicity, this whole 'family drama leading to global catastrophe' thing? It's a classic. But have you considered the philosophical implications of 'Dark Willow' versus 'Good Willow' in a real-world scenario? Because I think that's the real question here."
Felicity shrieked, spinning around, nearly knocking over her chair. "You! The ghost hacker! What are you even talking about?! And how do you keep doing that?!"
"Trade secrets, my dear Watson," Adam replied, winking. "But seriously, you look stressed. Need a break? Maybe a pop quiz on the geopolitical implications of the 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' finale?"
Felicity just stared at him, her mouth agape. "I… I don't even know what to say to that."
"Good," Adam said. "Because I'm about to give you some unsolicited advice on how to hack… me." He snapped his fingers, and her screen briefly flickered to show a complex, rapidly scrolling series of binary code, interspersed with images of rubber chickens and a tiny, pixelated Adam Stiels giving a thumbs-up. Then it reverted to normal.
Felicity stared at the screen, then at Adam, then back at the screen. "What… what was that?! My system just… glitched! And it had… chickens!"
Adam shrugged innocently. "See? Told you. Spontaneous. It's a Star City thing."
[SYSTEM: Achievement Progress: Annoy Hero (Oliver Queen). Current: 30%][SYSTEM: Achievement Progress: Annoy Hero (Felicity Smoak). Current: 20%]
He teleported away, leaving a bewildered Team Arrow to deal with their family drama and the lingering feeling that something, or someone, was subtly messing with their reality. "Oliver's probably going to blame aliens. Again. It's always aliens with him."
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