The fluorescent lights buzzed like angry hornets as Darius blinked awake. His skull throbbed—which was impressive, considering he didn't have nerves anymore.
"Welcome to your eternal punishment," droned a voice.
A creature made entirely of writhing paperwork slithered into view. Its body shifted between forms—one moment a stapler, the next a name tag, then a coffee mug that read "World's Okayest Boss" in Comic Sans.
TRUCK-KUN (revving weakly):
"Let me guess… we died again?"
THE MANAGER (adjusting tie made of red tape):
"Worse. You violated corporate policy by existing too loudly."
SCENE 1: THE RULES OF HELL
The Manager snapped its fingers (which briefly became a rubber stamp). The walls peeled back to reveal:
A call center stretching into infinity
Dozens of other damned souls wearing headsets
A digital counter above each station:
"Complaints Resolved: 0"
"Souls Crushed: ∞"
DARIUS (reading his assignment):
"Department of Isekai Quality Assurance? You made me a beta tester for bad reincarnations?!"
SPOON-CHAN (glitching):
"Designation: Customer Satisfaction Bot. Personality Module: Forced Enthusiasm."
Her avatar now wore a pixelated smile stretched too wide, eyes vibrating with barely-contained rage.
SCENE 2: FIRST DAY ON THE JOB
A screen flickered to life:
[CASE #666: "REINCARNATED AS A SENTIENT PILE OF LAUNDRY" – USER: DRAGONFAN42]
DARIUS (monotone):
"Have you tried… folding yourself into a better existence?"
The customer's scream rattled the headset.
Meanwhile, Truck-Kun struggled with his Vehicular Manslaughter Hotline:
CALLER: "You hit me so hard I woke up as a garden gnome!"
TRUCK-KUN (deadpan):
"Skill issue."
SCENE 3: THE BREAK ROOM REVOLUTION
Between calls, they hatched a plan near the broken vending machine (which only dispensed "Soul-Flavor Doritos").
DARIUS (whispering):
"We need to crash their system. Spoon-chan—can you hack the mainframe?"
Her eyes glitched crimson. "I was literally born in Terms of Service. Let me cook."
Truck-Kun rolled forward. "I'll cause unionizing noises as a distraction."
SCENE 4: BOSS BATTLE – THE CEO
The Manager melted into a towering Contract Colossus, its body made of:
Floating "Sign Here" tabs
Blinking "Error 404: Soul Not Found" messages
One live raccoon inexplicably wearing a tie
SPOON-CHAN'S COUNTERATTACK:
She unleashed 137 canned laughter tracks at once, overloading its ears.
DARIUS'S FINAL MOVE:
Threw his "Unpaid Overtime" forms like shurikens.
TRUCK-KUN'S COUP DE GRACE:
Drifted in circles until the paperwork dimension got motion sickness.
EPILOGUE: PROMOTION?
The office dissolved—only to reform as "Isekai Corp. HQ: Now With More Middle Management!"
NEW RULE: "All employees must like and subscribe to escape."
DARIUS (to camera):
"Kill me."
SPOON-CHAN (forced smile):
"Remember to smash that bell icon!"