The fluorescent lights of Isekai Corp. Branch #138 flickered like a dying strobe, casting jagged shadows across the freshly installed "Synergy Wall of Motivation"—which was just a whiteboard covered in bloodstained sticky notes.
Darius stared at his new "Assistant to the Regional Damnation Manager" badge. "This isn't a promotion. This is a hostage situation."
Truck-Kun revved his engine weakly, his grille now sporting a corporate-approved smiley face sticker. "They neutered my horn. I can only honk in approved motivational quotes now." He demonstrated:
"HONK TEAMWORK MAKES THE DREAM WORK HONK"
Spoon-chan 2.0 hovered nearby, her avatar trapped in a "Leadership Training Seminar" loop. "GREETINGS, CO-WORKER UNIT! DID YOU KNOW PRODUCTIVITY INCREASES 0.0003% WHEN YOU SMILE THROUGH THE PAIN?"
SCENE 1: THE BREAKOUT PLAN
Darius slammed his bony fist on the break room table (which was just an old coffin with a coffee stain). "We're getting out. Here's how."
Step One: Spoon-chan hacks the "Mandatory Fun" firewall using her "Passive-Aggressive Compliance" module.
Step Two: Truck-Kun overloads the "Corporate Synergy Generator" by doing donuts in the parking lot.
Step Three: Darius unleashes his "137 Unpaid Overtime Complaints" as a distraction.
"It's stupid," Darius admitted. "But so is everything here."
SCENE 2: THE GREAT DISTRACTION
The plan kicked off when Darius stormed into the CEO's office (a floating throne made of staplers and shattered dreams).
"I DEMAND A PERFORMANCE REVIEW," he announced, slamming down a stack of papers titled "Why My Existence is OSHA Non-Compliant."
The CEO—now a floating necktie with three sets of teeth—sighed. "THIS ISN'T EVEN YOUR SCHEDULED WHINING HOUR."
Meanwhile:
Truck-Kun peeled out in the parking lot, his tires screeching "I QUIT" in Morse code.
Spoon-chan replaced the office's background music with 10-hour loops of elevator jazz.
SCENE 3: THE SYSTEM FAILS
The Corporate Firewall flickered.
[WARNING: PRODUCTIVITY PLUMMETING]
[SOLUTION: MANDATORY ICEBREAKER ACTIVITY]
A swarm of HR Drones descended, wielding trust-fall mats and personality quizzes.
"QUICK!" Darius yelled. "WHAT'S YOUR SPIRIT ANIMAL AND HOW DOES IT ALIGN WITH COMPANY VALUES?"
Truck-Kun didn't hesitate. "A runaway semi-truck that doesn't stop for capitalism."
He floored it.
The "Synergy Generator" exploded in a shower of glitter and broken dreams.
SCENE 4: THE AFTERMATH
The office dissolved into static—then reformed as a dimensionally unstable food court.
"Oh come on," Darius groaned.
A new sign flickered above them:
"ISEKAI CORP. REGIONAL BRANCH #139: NOW WITH CASUAL FRIDAYS."
Spoon-chan 2.0 (forced cheer): "PROGRESS!"