Zixuan sat motionlessly on the bed, watching the shut door. His eyes remained clear.
For a long time he didn't make any movement, not even to wipe the tears blurring his vision.
His heart ached.
"Why?" he muttered to himself with a sob, tears slipping down his face.
He could tell Haoran desperately wanted to stay with him, to explain his side of the story.
But he didn't want to listen. Haoran's very presence felt suffocating.
Yet he also wanted him to stay, even as he kept pushing him away.
"Why…" he muttered again, his voice barely a breath. "Why am I like this?"
The tears slid down without restraint. He hated crying. But guess who was the cause, almost every day of his life.
"Him."
He knew Haoran wasn't cheating. Deep down, he knew.
Haoran had a desperate, almost foolish way of loving.
The gaze and the love in his eyes whenever he looked at him couldn't be fake.
And yet.
Every time Haoran wanted to explain or talk,he demanded silence.
