Seeing Setaria flee in a panic under Shao Yun's furious scolding, the entire square fell into stunned silence.
Standing nearby, Nilou hesitated for a moment before stepping forward, still trembling slightly from what had just happened.
She gently tugged at the corner of Shao Yun's coat, tiptoeing as she brought her lips close to his ear. In a voice so soft that only the two of them could hear, she whispered cautiously, "M-Mr. Tacitus, those two were the Grand Sage Azar and the renowned scholar Setaria from the Akademiya... perhaps we should show them a little more respect?"
Unlike Shao Yun, Nilou was not fearless. Having some apprehension toward the Akademiya was only natural.
After listening to Nilou's quiet explanation, Shao Yun widened his eyes dramatically, his expression suddenly turning exaggerated to the point of absurdity.
"Oh, my heavens! Since when did the Akademiya turn into a monkey sanctuary?"
Before Nilou could react, Shao Yun slapped his forehead as if struck by sudden inspiration. Then, pretending to realize something profound, he raised a finger and pointed straight at the roof of the Grand Bazaar.
Turning to face the audience below the stage, he shouted, "Oh, wait—that actually makes perfect sense! After all, monkeys do live in trees, don't they?"
The moment those words left his mouth, it was as if a spark had fallen into a powder keg.
Boom!
The crowd erupted with laughter.
"Hah! 'Monkeys live in trees'—that's brilliant! Hahaha!"
"Look at me! I'm one of those Akademiya types—ooh-ah! ooh-ah!"
Standing among Lumine, Dehya, and Dunyarzad, Paimon watched as everyone around them bent over laughing, utterly confused.
Lowering her hands from her ears, she asked, "Why's everyone laughing so hard? Paimon wants to know what's so funny!"
But when she finally heard what Shao Yun had actually said, she froze in horror.
'Oh no… I really regret having ears right now…'
…
After Setaria fled in disgrace, the stern-looking Azar, his single monocle glinting, fixed his cold gaze on Shao Yun.
"Who exactly are you? How dare you speak so outrageously before me!"
Shao Yun raised his right hand lazily, waving it in front of his nose as if fanning away a foul stench. His face twisted in disgust, and he muttered with disdain, "Ugh… what's that smell coming off you? Dog piss, maybe? My God, you and that other one reeking of cat piss would make the perfect pair—a 'Cat-and-Dog-Piss Duo!' Hahaha!"
Then he burst into loud, shameless laughter.
Azar, as the Grand Sage of the Akademiya, had far more restraint than most. He swallowed down his rage, inhaling deeply to steady himself before speaking again in a solemn tone.
"Listen well, ignorant fool! I am Azar, Grand Sage of the Akademiya! Show some respect, and cease your insolent babbling at once!"
Shao Yun rolled his eyes and sneered. "Oh? Grand Sage, you say? Looks to me like you're just a glorified pimp."
Azar's composure finally snapped. His face turned dark green with fury, veins bulging across his forehead as he gasped for breath. Pointing a trembling finger at Shao Yun, he shouted, "You insolent, foul-mouthed wretch! It's plain as day you're an uneducated savage from the countryside!"
Arms spread wide, Shao Yun exclaimed with mock amazement, "Wow! Everyone look—the rear end has started talking! And every word it says sounds just like a fart!"
The outburst sent the audience into another fit of hysterics.
Azar's dignified facade shattered completely as he roared, "Guards! Seize this madman at once!"
Shao Yun, unbothered, mimicked Azar's furious tone and posture, shouting loudly, "Guards! Guards! There's a bald old monkey loose from the circus!"
The entire crowd howled with laughter, clutching their stomachs. Some were laughing so hard they couldn't even stand.
Among them, several members of the Thirty—normally loyal to the Akademiya—were laughing as well, which only made Azar panic even more.
'When did someone this bold appear in Sumeru?' he thought, bewildered. 'And why does the Akasha Terminal have no record of him whatsoever?'
The thought made his chest tighten painfully. Clutching his heart, he glared at Shao Yun, shouting, "Who are you? In all my years, I've never encountered anyone who dares to mock the Akademiya to such an extent!"
Shao Yun waved dismissively, pointing to himself with a grin of utter confidence. "Eh! Well, now you've met one!"
Azar suddenly felt lightheaded, as though his very soul were leaving his body. The world seemed to spin.
"You… I…" he stammered, swaying unsteadily.
Seeing that, Shao Yun showed not a trace of pity. Instead, he pulled out a shiny red apple from his pack.
Holding it up in front of Azar's face, he shook it teasingly, a wicked grin curling his lips. "Hey, look at you—pathetic! You really do look like a pitiful little monkey. Come on, if you juggle this apple for me, I'll even let you keep it!"
Nilou, watching from the side, was frozen in shock.
She could hardly believe Shao Yun was humiliating the Grand Sage of the Akademiya in front of so many people.
In all of Sumeru's history, no one had ever dared offend the Grand Sage in public.
The thought made Nilou's heart pound in terror. What if Azar snapped and ordered Shao Yun's arrest right then and there?
Panicking, she rushed forward and grabbed Shao Yun's arm. "Mr. Tacitus, please calm down! If you anger the Grand Sage any further, he might order your imprisonment!"
But Shao Yun ignored her plea entirely.
'If that old man had the guts to arrest me,' he thought smugly, 'he'd be ruling like the King of Qin instead of sitting on his fancy chair at the Akademiya.'
At that moment, Azar—who had seemed on the verge of collapse—suddenly straightened up, his eyes fixed sharply on Shao Yun.
"You said your name was Tacitus?" he murmured. "Hmm… that name sounds familiar."
Shao Yun blinked, then curled his lip in disgust. "Hah! Spare me your act, you wrinkled, flea-bitten monkey! Hearing my name come out of your filthy mouth makes me want to puke!"
Still, curiosity sparked in him. "So tell me—how do you know my name?"
Adjusting his monocle, Azar spoke with calm authority, his tone full of smug certainty. "Tacitus Kilgore, an adventurer. I heard you aided Mondstadt in fending off the Hilichurl horde half a year ago."
"And later, in Liyue, you helped resolve a false accusation—am I wrong?"
Though not entirely accurate, most of what he said was true.
"Well, looks like you've done your homework," Shao Yun said flatly. "Anything else?"
Azar brushed his sleeve dismissively. Having confirmed that this "Tacitus" was nothing more than an adventurer, his arrogance returned.
"In Mondstadt and Liyue, perhaps you were someone of note. But here in Sumeru, you are nothing."
"In this land, even a wealthy merchant is but an insect to us scholars. And you—you're merely a boastful wanderer."
Shao Yun licked his lips and asked coolly, "Aren't you afraid I might kill you? Because to me, you're just an old man with a death wish."
'Aren't you even curious about Inazuma?' he thought. 'Or whether my name really is even Tacitus Kilgore?'
Azar straightened proudly, replying with condescension, "Judging by your past actions, you're not the type to slaughter the innocent. You're a good man, aren't you? Heh…"
Without waiting for a response, he turned to the crowd and declared loudly, "This ridiculous so-called festival to honor the gods is hereby over! Disperse!"
Shao Yun's expression darkened as he stared at Azar's back.
He recalled what that devil had once told him—that mercy is mistaken for weakness, and strength is called cruelty.
He muttered under his breath, "You really think I'm merciful? Then let's see what color your insides are."
Just as he reached for his revolver to deliver Azar a "cooling gift," a voice suddenly echoed in his mind.
"Wait!"
The voice of Lesser Lord Kusanali stopped him cold. His hand froze mid-motion.
Blinking in disbelief, Shao Yun whispered inwardly, "What?! Nahida? You can talk straight into my mind? I'm not even wearing an Akasha Terminal—how the hell are you doing that?!"
Realizing her secret had slipped, Nahida's anxious voice echoed faintly in his consciousness. "Oh no…"
While Shao Yun stood stunned, Nilou hurried forward again, hoping to calm things down. "Grand Sage, please—let's discuss this. I promise, once this dance ends, we'll all disperse peacefully."
Azar glared at her and raised his hand—nearly striking her across the face.
Nilou instinctively stepped back two paces, clearing his way.
With a cold snort, Azar continued down the stairs of the stage, ignoring everyone behind him.
Shao Yun no longer cared about the Grand Sage.
His gaze turned toward the gift box where Lesser Lord Kusanali sat hidden.
A flicker of unease crept into his heart. So, this is what a god truly is… not what they appear to be on the surface.
If she can read my mind directly, then my other plan…
He clenched his jaw and muttered under his breath, "I don't know how you're speaking inside my head, but… fine. Since it's your birthday, I'll let it slide—for now. But once this Sabzeruz Festival is over, we're going to have a little chat, you got that? You'd better not be hiding any tricks, damn it…"