Shao Yun turned around, his gaze following Azar, who was making his way down the stage steps, and shouted, "Don't rush off now—turn around and let me take a good look at that flea-bitten face of yours."
At those words, Azar's foot slipped, and he tumbled down the stairs headfirst.
Watching Azar fall flat on his face, Shao Yun continued to mock him. "If you really want to eat dog crap off the ground, Miss Nilou here has a little dog named Swan. Would you like her to have it make something fresh for you?"
Supported by a few members of the Eremites, Azar barely managed to stand. His voice trembled with fury as he roared, "Guards! Seal off the Grand Bazaar! Let this foreigner understand—perhaps in Mondstadt and Liyue, someone might indulge him, but here in Sumeru, no one will!"
Shao Yun sneered in open defiance. "I'm quite familiar with the folks at Bubu Pharmacy in Liyue. Want me to have them whip up some kidney tonic for you—so you can relieve yourself a little more easily?"
Azar's face flushed an ugly shade of blue. "You'll pay for your insolence!" he spat before being helped away by two Eremites.
Had he stayed any longer, the Akademiya might've needed to contact Wangsheng Funeral Parlor to handle his remains—and elect a new Grand Sage.
After Azar left the Grand Bazaar, Shao Yun turned to Lumine, Paimon, Dunyarzad, and Dehya, who had just stepped onto the stage. "All right, the Akademiya's dogs have been driven off. Now we can actually enjoy the festival."
"Nilou, continue your Dance of the Sabzeruz. As for you, Dunyarzad, Dehya, Lumine, and Paimon—let's watch her performance from down below. And when it's over, I've got a surprise for you all."
The moment he finished, he noticed the five girls wearing a rather peculiar expression. He blinked, confused. "What's wrong with you all? Why the faces? Did I say something strange?"
Lumine and Paimon exchanged glances, both unsure how to respond.
"Hmm…"
Dehya crossed her arms, giving her verdict on how Shao Yun had cursed out the Akademiya. "You've got one vicious mouth. Even in the Eremites, it's rare to find someone who insults people that brutally."
Nilou scratched her cheek, visibly embarrassed. "I always thought Mr. Shao Yun was… how should I say… a warm, cheerful guy, like the friendly boy next door…"
Dunyarzad nodded quickly. "I felt the same way as Nilou…"
Hearing that, Shao Yun gave a helpless smile. "I don't usually curse, but that doesn't mean I can't. You get me?"
"Also, I just helped set up the stage a bit. Since when does that make me some kind-hearted Samaritan?"
At that moment, two Eremite mercenaries climbed onto the stage, one of them clearly impatient.
"Enough! The event's over. Disperse! Otherwise, we'll have to arrest you all—move it!"
Shao Yun turned, facing the impatient Eremite head-on. Without hesitation, he shoved the man and barked, "We're not leaving! We're finishing the Sabzeruz Festival right here. What, you got a problem with that?"
The mercenary, not expecting such bold defiance, stepped forward menacingly. "You dare push me? Aren't you afraid I'll arrest you on the spot?"
Already in a foul mood, Shao Yun—unable to vent his earlier frustration at Lesser Lord Kusanali—found his outlet.
He swung his fist.
Bang!
His right hook landed square on the mercenary's jaw.
Even while ill, Shao Yun's strength was no joke. The punch knocked out several of the man's teeth, sending him airborne for a split second before he hit the ground hard.
The fallen mercenary's face swelled instantly; he couldn't even form words, only groaned miserably on the floor.
Shao Yun pointed down at him, shouting, "You're damn right I hit you! What, got a problem with that, you thick-headed idiot with jaw muscles bigger than your brain?"
The second mercenary, witnessing his comrade's downfall, paled in terror. Fearing he might be next, he raised his hands in surrender. "Please, sir, calm down! We're only following the Grand Sage's orders!"
"We don't want to shut down the Grand Bazaar either! We Eremites need it too—it's where we buy our supplies! We'll lift the lockdown tomorrow, I swear. But if we don't do it now, we'll lose our jobs!"
Shao Yun showed no mercy. He kicked the man hard in the stomach, sending him sprawling, and snarled, "You losing your job isn't my damn problem. Just go play blind beggar outside the Bazaar—you'll make enough in a day to feed yourself."
The mercenary, gasping for air, turned pleadingly toward Dunyarzad, Dehya, Lumine, and Paimon. "Ladies, please, talk some sense into this man!"
Dehya had never seen the Eremites this pitiful before—it felt surreal.
Before any of the girls could respond, Shao Yun grabbed the mercenary by the collar, hauling him off the ground. "You think appealing to these girls' pity will save you? Tell me, who's ever pitied us? You think just because you wear that dogskin uniform, we'll go easy on you? Get lost!"
With that, he hurled the man off the Zubayr Theater stage.
Thankfully, the stage wasn't too high; the mercenary tumbled off, scrambled to his feet, and fled without looking back.
…
Though Shao Yun had cleared the Eremites from the theater, the rest of the Grand Bazaar had already been emptied by the mercenaries.
Even as Dunyarzad, Dehya, and Nilou tried convincing people to stay for the Dance of the Sabzeruz, few dared defy a Grand Sage's decree.
Festivals were joyful, yes—but life had to go on afterward.
Before long, the once-bustling Bazaar grew eerily silent.
Every spectator and merchant had vanished.
Nilou looked at the empty plaza, murmuring despondently, "What should we do now? Not a single audience member remains…"
Beside her, Paimon puffed up angrily, fists on her hips. "Ugh! The Akademiya ruins everything!"
At that moment, Shao Yun suddenly slammed his palm down on the gift box resting in the cart—the one containing Lesser Lord Kusanali.
Thud!
The impact startled her so badly her heart skipped a beat.
Even Lumine, Paimon, and Nilou jumped at the sudden noise.
But Shao Yun remained expressionless, offering no explanation. Instead, in a tone that brooked no refusal, he said, "Don't just stand there—follow me. We're heading to the house Mr. Shahzaman found for me. Once we're there, we'll lock the doors and celebrate our own Sabzeruz Festival—quietly."
Without waiting for a reply, he turned, pushing the cart away toward the place he shared with Lumine and Paimon.
Nilou hesitated, frowning. "But… if it's only us, won't it feel too lonely? Maybe we should find a few more people, pick a spot where the Akademiya won't find us—"
Shao Yun didn't even look back. "No need. Trust me—this audience is more than enough to appreciate your dance."
Seeing his confidence, Lumine—though still uncertain—nodded and stepped in to help. "Nilou, Dunyarzad, let's just go with Shao Yun's plan. Even a small, private celebration is better than ending things like this."
With Lumine siding with him, Nilou and Dunyarzad finally nodded.
"Alright… we'll follow your lead, Mr. Shao Yun."
…
Soon, Shao Yun, Lumine, and Paimon led Dehya, Dunyarzad, and Nilou to their residence.
The moment the door opened, Shao Yun carefully set the gift box containing Lesser Lord Kusanali in the center of the living room.
Then, turning to everyone, he said sternly, "Take off your Akasha Terminals."
Though puzzled, everyone obeyed without question.
Once the last earpiece was removed, Shao Yun asked again, "Now, no one's still wearing those damned Akasha Terminals, right?"
Lumine quickly looked around, confirming, "Yes, everyone's taken them off."
Satisfied, Shao Yun placed his hand gently atop the box, narrowed his eyes, and began to speak in a low, almost ceremonial tone.
"Did you know? In Fontaine, there's a magician so skilled he can perform human-transformation acts before a live audience."
"I even knew one myself—he could pull a live, hopping rabbit from an ordinary hat."
He paused, the corner of his mouth curling into a self-mocking smile. "Of course, compared to true masters, I'm nothing special."
"I'm just a foul-mouthed fool who happens to be decent with a gun. But I do know a little something about… magic."
For example, transferring the Mora in someone's pocket into my own—with the small side effect that its original owner ends up dead.
Or the kind of body-separation trick that doesn't quite… come back together.
After that cryptic speech, Paimon couldn't hold her curiosity any longer. "Oh, come on! What is it already? What's in that big box—don't tell me it's a three-layered birthday cake or something?"
Shao Yun only smiled mysteriously. "Patience, patience. Now, everyone—steady your breathing and keep your eyes wide open. Let's see who's about to make their grand appearance!"
With a flourish, he threw open the lid of the ornate gift box.
In the next instant, jaws dropped.
Reaching inside, Shao Yun grasped the small figure seated on a stool—by the armpits—and effortlessly lifted her out.
And there she was, radiant and pure—Lesser Lord Kusanali herself.
"This… is my magic!"
The room fell silent. Lumine and Paimon stared, dumbfounded, scratching their heads, unable to process why Shao Yun had just pulled a tiny, beautiful girl from a box.
Nilou, Dehya, and Dunyarzad were no less astonished. They exchanged bewildered looks before focusing on the serene child before them.
Even though all three were Sumerians, none had ever seen Lesser Lord Kusanali's true form. Only Dunyarzad had once heard her gentle voice.
Now, that same presence stood before them, alive and real.
Nahida smiled softly, raising her small hand in greeting. "Hello, everyone…"
The familiar voice hit Dunyarzad like lightning.
Her heart raced wildly, her breath caught in her throat.
Then, covering her mouth with trembling hands, she gasped, finally managing to choke out, "Lesser Lord Kusanali!"
Lumine and Paimon froze in shock—every time Shao Yun said he had something planned, it always turned out to be insane. But this time, he'd gone and kidnapped the Dendro Archon herself!
At this rate, if they ever went to Fontaine and Shao Yun claimed he had "something to take care of," would the Hydro Archon come greet them personally?!
Nilou and Dehya were nearly convinced they were dreaming—their Archon, standing before them, shimmering like a vision!
Shao Yun set Nahida down gently, spreading his arms wide, and declared, "This world has its comforts!"
"There will always be gifts waiting for us in the most unexpected of places!"