Text"I really think you should go and see a Healer." Harry told Draco at breakfast. He hadn't been able to face a cooked breakfast, and the smell of one had nearly set off another bout of nausea, so Harry had used his wand to vanish the food and used his box to make them toast. "It's been like this for almost a month now, if it's an allergy or something..."
"It's fine." Draco insisted, the way he had been insisting every time they had this discussion. If nothing else, this entire situation was serving to confirm every rumour the Slytherins had ever started about Potter and his inability to process basic information in front of him.
"Do you want me to talk to Hermione? She's been looking at some medical things in her spare time, so-"
"It's fine, Harry." Draco stood straighter and kept his voice firm. He really didn't want to have this argument today. He knew he was going to have to, at some point, but he couldn't face that right now. It wasn't that he was scared of Harry. Not exactly. He'd been scared of Harry in the past, but that was before weeks spent in each other's company. Before Harry had proven himself willing to sacrifice his reputation to help an enemy and asked for nothing in return.
But he was afraid that when Harry found out the truth, he'd blame Draco. Or that he'd refuse to have anything to do with either of them. That he'd accuse Draco of doing this to trap him, when that wasn't it. Draco had just thought... they were married. It was what married people did, and Harry had agreed.
Some nights, Draco had nightmares of Harry forbidding him and his scorpion from ever being close to him, choosing to focus on Teddy as his heir... But he wouldn't throw them out. Even in the nightmares, Harry didn't throw them out. He just left them in Draco's room, made it clear they were never to be seen or heard.
The worst part about those dreams was the fact that he knew a few brief weeks ago, he would have felt there were much worse things than Harry's benevolent neglect. Now, used to sleeping in Harry's arms, the thought of losing his affection stung.
He knew he would eventually lose Harry's affection. That one day the scorpion growing inside of him would reveal the truth, and Harry would pull away. But he just wanted to postpone that moment for as long as possible. It was selfish. But Draco had always been selfish.
"And you're sure you should be messing around with potions?" Harry was asking, a frown on his face. "You don't think it's that, do you? That's making you ill?"
"I'm not messing around with potions." Draco shot a sharp glare at him, then looked away, wondering when he'd gotten so bold. "I'm just... It's good practice. It's a complex potion, and it requires several of the techniques that I might be asked to demonstrate in the exam."
"You know I'd pay for the ingredients, if you wanted." Harry asked, and Draco felt his stomach sink, because this was another argument he didn't like having. He'd written to the Headmistress after his meeting with Blaise and Pansy and got confirmation that the school was desperate for Wolfsbane. And so he'd started to work on producing batches of it. It wasn't healing. But it was closer to it than any other path he could see in his future.
"My mother is more than happy to provide the ingredients." Draco answered, feeling anger bubbling up from within. "We may as well put the Malfoy fortune to some use, and... for now, at least, Slughorn seems willing to accept my work. As long as it's accompanied by a note from the Chosen One confirming that his husband isn't poisoning the afflicted students."
"I never did like that man," Harry muttered. "Look... Draco, I get this matters to you. I just... don't want you getting sick." Harry always made it sound so reasonable, and Draco wanted to tell him the truth. Wanted to explain, to apologise, but he couldn't because apologising for his child might make Harry think he could get rid of it, and Draco couldn't face losing the one positive thing he had done.
"I'll be careful. I'll up the air circulating charms." Draco tried to sound reassuring. He knew that the potions weren't the problem. He was careful, he had to be with a child. But it was something he could say to comfort Harry.
"Thank you." Harry smiled at him, reaching out so their hands brushed. Draco tried to push away thoughts of this being forever, of this fantasy of getting to live out his life happy. A moment later, Harry settled that he wouldn't be able to hide much longer, and with that confirmed his fears that that could never be. "I think if you're not better by Sunday, we should talk to Andromeda. Maybe she can work out what the problem is."
"Maybe." Draco gritted the word out. He had a deadline.
He didn't want to tell Harry. To ruin everything, to risk Harry's anger or his hurt. But he couldn't let Harry ask his aunt. She'd been so kind the past few weeks, taking an interest in Draco's studies and showing him affection that Draco knew he didn't deserve. He could already picture her expression as Harry innocently listed off Draco's symptoms.
She'd know. Of course she would, he was certain it was obvious. That was why he didn't want Hermione to be told. She'd know, she'd blame Draco for taking advantage, and turn Harry against their child. The world seemed to swim around him, and he didn't know what he could do to make things better.
The hands on his shoulders were a surprise, but Harry guided him gently to sitting, rubbed his back, and murmured soothing words. Draco let Harry's voice wash over him for a few moments before he looked up.
"You're sure you'll be okay in the potions room? I can bring some reading down if you'd like." Harry offered it so easily, and Draco knew he'd lose that kindness soon. He knew that to others it would look like he'd taken advantage of Harry's goodness, and he didn't know how he could argue against it. Because thinking of Harry's expression if Harry found out what he had expected... Only it wasn't that simple, it hadn't been just that. He'd had Harry because he'd wanted him. He still wanted him. And he wasn't sure how he could explain that.
He couldn't let the panic take him again. He had to make potions, he had to study, he had to prove that he had some value, however small. That the Ministry had been right in their choice to spare him.
"Draco..." A glass of water was pushed into his hand, and Harry looked at him with concern. "I know McGonagall said you've been sending more than enough Wolfsbane. Maybe today we can just... study some theory?"
"Are you volunteering to read books for me, Potter?" Draco managed, and Harry grinned.
"Yeah. Must be love." Harry's eyes widened a second after he'd said it, and Draco cleared his throat. Potter hadn't meant anything by it, Draco knew that. He just wished that Harry had.
"Theory sounds good for today. I'll go and get my books." He just had to work out what to do in the next few days, how he could tell Harry the truth in a way that wouldn't put his scorpion at risk. He rested his hand over his stomach, mentally telling the child that he would make everything alright. He hoped it wasn't a lie.
A few minutes later, they were settled in the library. Harry's body was angled towards his own, and Draco found himself sneaking glances at Harry as he turned the pages in his book. It didn't take him long to realise that Harry was doing the same.
"What is it, Potter?"
"You." Harry laughed, and shook his head. "I just... never thought we'd get this."
Draco hesitated, then reached out to take Harry's hand, folding his fingers around Harry's own. He'd slept with the man. He was carrying Harry's child. Every night, Harry's arms were around him so he could sleep. Despite their growing intimacy, his heart still broke at the tenderness inthe way Harry moved closer, leaned in and kissed him softly for a moment, then pulled away.
"I don't... I don't expect anything of you, Draco. Not... not like that. But... I'm glad you're in my life." He sounded stubborn, Draco realised. Draco wondered how long he'd rehearsed that in his head, in a desperate attempt to sound confident when he said it.
"I'm glad too." Draco leaned in and kissed him back. This was temporary. He knew it was. But he was selfish enough to take it while he could.
Harry got an owl that evening while just the two of them were sitting down for dinner. It was an officious looking tawny that bit at Draco when he had tried to take the letter from it, drawing a bead of blood from his fingertip. Draco glared as he stuck his finger in his mouth.
"Here, can you just stir this?" Harry asked, calling Draco over to attempt not to ruin his cooking while he retrieved the letter. Draco cautiously tried to mimic the movement that Harry had done, hoping that the owl would leave them alone. It hopped up on top of the door jam and hooted loudly.
"I think, Potter, that it wants you to respond. If you want this food to be edible I should put it under a stasis."
"Go ahead," Harry agreed, sitting down at the table. Draco paused the cooking, and moved over to stand beside him as he opened it. Harry's face fell.
"What is it?" Draco asked, bracing himself for the worst.
"Oh, it's... it's the Ministry. They're asking me to come in... they've said I've got a spot on the auror programme, and... well, it's a generous offer, and they say it... they've been asking for weeks, and I keep putting it off but..."
"No." Draco hissed, before remembering he didn't get to make that decision. He took a deep breath, and looked up at Harry. "Harry, do you want to be an auror?"
"I guess? I mean I'm good at-"
"Do you want to be an auror now? Or do you want to get your NEWTs and spend time with your friends and... and heal. Because you deserve to heal."
"That one." Harry conceded. "But people are counting on me, aren't they? And-"
"I'm counting on you." Draco snapped the words. "We're counting on you." He couldn't imagine the idea of his child growing up without Harry there because Harry had got himself killed doing some stupid job out of some mistaken sense of loyalty.
"Wh..." Harry stared at him, his eyes narrowing. "What do you mean?"
An easy lie sprung to Draco's lips. To claim he meant Ron and Hermione, even Teddy. But he had a deadline, and he needed Harry to know.
"Harry, I'm pregnant."
"Draco, you're... you're a guy. We had... I'd have noticed." Harry stared at him, looking horribly lost.
Draco crouched down, picking up Harry's edition of the Charms textbook for the year, which was supporting a wobbly table leg. He opened it to the healing charms, flicking through to the right page. He gestured at the spell.
"Look..." He'd done this so many times the past few weeks to catch a glimpse of his scorpion, to remind himself he wasn't alone. He could feel Harry's eyes on him. "Conceptum Revelare."
His own pale green magic swirled up, and there was the yellow sphere. Their child's magic. A little larger than before.
"H... how?" Harry asked, gazing at the light until it faded, then reading the page. "You're serious about this, aren't you?"
Draco nodded, still gripping his wand and wrapping his left arm around his stomach. He had never planned to fight Harry. But he was ready to if he had to, if Harry gave him no choice.
Harry held his hands up, staring at him. The owl at the door hooted angrily, and Harry picked up a quill, scribbling briefly. After a few moments, he held the note out to the owl.
"I've said no. Not now. I've got to work out some stuff first."
Once the owl was gone, he walked over to Draco. Draco was aware he was trembling, as Harry carefully took the wand from his hand, and guided him into the living room.
"Draco...."
"Please don't hurt them." Draco whispered as he found himself sitting down on a couch.
"I... I won't... This... this is why you were sick, isn't it...?" Harry's touches were reverent, devoted. Draco heard himself gasp, felt tears running down his face, and then Harry's arms were around him, pulling him close.
"Draco... It's okay. It's okay. We're going to be alright, I promise you." Harry's voice was careful, and he called over the book, flicking through it. "How did this-"
"It's meant to be compatibility. If someone's magic matches, but... you're just powerful, Harry. I didn't mean for this to happen but... I promise, they'll be well behaved, they won't cause you any bother, or-"
"Draco, they're... they're a child." Harry's smile was damp. "They'll get to cause all the chaos we never could, alright?" He leaned in, and kissed Draco. It was surprisingly chaste, and heartbreakingly gentle. As though Draco was something precious, something to be protected. Draco didn't think he'd ever understand that.
"Thank you."
"You never should have had to feel like you needed to face this alone..." Harry hesitated, staring at Draco's stomach. "Can... can I touch?"
"You won't be able to feel anything yet."
"I know. But... can I?" Harry asked, and Draco was reminded of how careful Harry always was, how he never treated Draco like something that was just there for his use. He nodded, lifting his shirt. Then he felt Harry's hand rest against his stomach.
Relief flooded him. For the first time since he'd found out about his scorpion's existence, he had hope that it would all work out for the best.
Harry gazed up at him, and it wasn't anger or hatred. It was care.
"Draco… whatever you need. I'll make sure we're okay." Draco knew he meant it. Harry hesitated, glancing down at the hand he still had resting against Draco's pale skin. "Have you… does anyone know?"
"No one." Draco said quickly. "I just… I thought I could hide it, and then… if I could prove to you I could be good, keep quiet, not argue… you'd… you'd let them live."
Harry's arms were around him in an instant, pressing careful kisses to Draco's face.
"You don't need to be afraid of me, Draco, I…" He shook his head. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you weren't able to tell anyone. And I won't let… I won't let any harm come to them. Not if I can stop it. And Draco, stop trying to not argue with me, it never works out."
Draco swallowed, and then swallowed again, trying to stop his tears from falling because it didn't make sense, Potter was being so nice about all of this. He could feel the answers he should say, but his voice shook as he answered.
"I wouldn't have to argue if you didn't do stupid things."
Harry grinned, and Draco took a deep breath, pushing himself to take advantage of Harry's current good mood.
"Does this mean I can…. That I can stay sleeping with you, when… I thought you wouldn't want to hold me when you knew, but-"
"Of course. If you want me. Draco, any time you don't want… you only need to say, and I'll stop. I won't force my presence on you. But I like… I like keeping you safe." Harry stared at him, and Draco could pick out the anger there in his expression that he was trying to hide.
He knew he shouldn't press. But Harry was upset, and he didn't want that.
"What… what is it?"
"I was meant to keep you safe, Draco. And I just… I just keep failing you."
"You've never failed us." Draco said. "We… when do you want to tell people?"
"I don't know anything about… like…" Harry hesitated. "When's it safe to tell people?"
Draco frowned at him, not quite understanding the question. "We could notify people tomorrow. Their magic is strong. They'll be fine."
Harry seemed to be thinking something.
"Those potions your mum gave you. The poisons and stuff… she knew this might happen, didn't she?"
"She wanted to make sure I was prepared for whatever you might do."
Harry squeezed him, with surprising gentleness.
"I still don't understand. But I'm trying to."
Draco nodded slowly.
"Tomorrow. I can… I can write to my mother, and… You can tell whoever you…" He hesitated. "Is it alright if we don't tell Father? He wouldn't approve, and… I don't want certain people knowing, not yet."
"Honestly, Draco, I couldn't be happier if I never had to deal with Lucius Malfoy again." Harry promised, pulling him into a gentle kiss. Draco wondered if they were going to have sex that night. He wasn't afraid of it. He wanted it, but in an abstract way - he'd rather spend the night curled up in Harry's arms, if given the choice.
Harry wanted to give him the choice. He was held, and he knew he was safe. He slept peacefully.
The next day, he spent his morning drafting a brief letter to his mother, informing her that he was well and that his marriage had proved fruitful. He followed the news with his usual reassurances that he was well, and asking to see her when she was available. Harry, meanwhile, had invited Hermione and Ron over for lunch. Hermione appeared from the fireplace first, smiling at Draco as though she was glad he was there.
"Draco, I wanted to talk with you about the use of Algiz, I know it's sign is protection but I'm finding references-"
"Poisons," Draco supplied quickly. "For purebloods being married off into situations where they would be in danger, they were often given a vial of untraceable poison marked with Algiz, it's an old tradition but-"
"But one that some families keep?" Harry asked as he joined them, a tray of tea at his side.
"Your mum didn't know you'd be safe."
"Safer with you than in Azkaban. And she… she hoped. And she was right to hope." Draco promised as Ron stepped from the fire. He looked between Draco and Harry. Harry took a protective step closer, resting a hand on Draco's stomach, and Draco wasn't sure of what to make of the way his soul thrilled at such careful possessive touches.
"Oh. Oh, Harry-" Hermione looked between them. "I… I mean, I didn't… I didn't expect-"
"What?" Ron asked as Hermione looked at Draco, seeking confirmation. He nodded, and she squealed, rushing forwards to hug Harry and then Draco. Draco allowed it, knowing that sometimes Gryffindors were just like that.
"I'm pregnant." Draco stepped closer to Harry as he said it. Harry was safe. Harry would keep the child safe.
"I mean, it makes sense the two of you are compatible-" Hermione started, and Draco flinched because he wished that was why.
"It's… he's… I mean, the most powerful wizard alive, it's not-"
"So what, the kid's Voldemort's?" Ron asked. Draco flinched at the name, looking at Harry in terror and silently shaking his head, watching Harry for any sign of anger. And Harry did look angry.
For a second, tension hung in the air, and Draco's mind started to race, wondering where he could apparate to, how long he could keep running.
"Ronald!" Hermione stared at him. "You have the sensitivity of a teaspoon. No. It's Harry's. Harry killed Vol-" She paused, seeing Draco wince at the name. "Harry killed him. Harry is powerful, yes, but their magic is compatible."
"It's just that Harry's strong." Draco repeated, because it was cruel to keep saying that, offering what he wanted to be true but knew wasn't.
Hermione stared at him, and then spoke very slowly as though Draco was confused.
"You can use each other's wands."
Draco whimpered softly, turning towards Harry, and Harry cuddled him close.
"Draco, you can use my wand. We are compatible." Harry's face was nuzzing into Draco's shoulder, and Draco could feel himself trembling in Harry's arms. The conversation continued, but Draco didn't pay it any mind. Harry's magic wanted him. The existence of their little scorpion wasn't just some horrible misfire. They were meant to be.
Harry and his friends kept hugging and talking and Draco barely paid any of it any mind. He saw an owl perch on the windowsill, carrying a note. He approached it cautiously, taking the letter from it.
"I'm at Andromeda's. We are waiting for you."
"What is it, Draco?"
"Mother wishes to see me." Draco hesitated. He knew Harry was with his family. But he needed Harry with him. "Can… Can we go and see her?" He was willing to delay it, of course he was. But Harry nodded quickly, immediately getting to his feet.
"Ron, Hermione, great to tell you. We'll have to meet up soon and talk but… well. This is important." Harry hugged his friends again, and then Hermione was hugging Draco, and then she got another hug off of Harry. Finally, they left, and Harry smiled. "You ready?"
Draco nodded, a little nervous.
"I don't see why you're scared, Draco. I'm the one that they'll be mad at." Harry stated, and Draco stared at him.
"They'll think I… that I did it deliberately, to trap you…"
"Did you?" Harry asked, but he was smirking as he said it.
"Of course not."
"Then what-"
"You didn't… we haven't. Since that first time. And I get… I know I'm…" Draco shook his head, right hand going to rest over the bandages on his left arm. "I didn't mean for it to happen. I know you don't want me like that."
Harry stared at him, narrowing his eyes. He was clearly trying to work something out, but Draco didn't understand what it was.
"Draco…" Harry hesitated. "I've… I didn't want to take advantage of you. With what Andromeda said, it was pretty clear you didn't feel you had much choice in the matter and..." Harry frowned. "Did you really think I didn't like you, Draco?"
Draco shrugged a little, not sure he could manage words at that moment.
Harry leaned in, pressed a careful and heartbreakingly chaste kiss to Draco's lips.
"I want you. But I'm happy with what we have. With whatever you can give me."
Draco nodded. He wanted to allow himself to fall into those words, into the possibilities and dreams they opened up. But he knew that his mother wouldn't be kept waiting for long, and he definitely didn't want her to appear at an inopportune moment.
"We should go and see them, before they come over here and make a scene."
Harry nodded.
"And I'll be careful if your mum offers me any drinks."
Draco laughed, threading his fingers through Harry's and approaching the fireplace. He threw the Floo powder in and only let go of Harry's hand when he stepped forwards into the flames.
He emerged from the fireplace and found his mother looking at him, her lips pressed close together in concern. Her sister was nearby, frowning. His mother didn't embrace him, but Draco had expected that. She wouldn't, not when there were other people around. Almost immediately, Harry stepped out from the fireplace beside him. Mother's nose wrinkled a little in distaste.
"Barrier charms, Potter." Draco reminded, waving his wand to vanish the dirt from Harry's skin.
"I guess you already know, Andromeda?" Harry asked carefully, looking between the two women and wrapping an arm around Draco's waist. Draco could sense the nervousness in him, even though it didn't make sense. Harry had nothing to be nervous of here.
"I do." Andromeda sighed. "And I would be a hypocrite to blame you, given when Ted and I... But you are young. I didn't think I was young, back when we..." She sighed, wiping her eyes, and Draco knew she was thinking of the child and husband she had lost. "But what's different is you will have our support. Both of you."
Mother nodded smartly in agreement.
"Perhaps, Harry, you could help me grab some tea for everyone?" Andromeda asked, and Harry reluctantly relinquished his hold on Draco, walking out of the room with her. As soon as they were alone, Mother embraced him, pressing her forehead to his own.
"Do you need me to fix this?" she asked, and Draco knew if he agreed she would do whatever it took to make everything right. She always had.
"I think it's already fixed," Draco told her, looking into her eyes. "He... he really is taking good care of me, Mother."
"If he wasn't... I would find a way to get you to safety." Mother said with such determination that he knew it was true.
"I know."
"Well... you've... you've done well. You've secured a future for yourself, and..." She sighed softly. "It's not going to be easy for you, you know that? People are going to talk. But you've done well..." There was such sadness in her eyes, and she pressed a kiss to his forehead.
Andromeda and Harry returned shortly afterwards. Harry had somehow ended up carrying Teddy, while Andromeda passed around drinks for everyone. Draco watched Harry curiously. "You... you really are good with him."
"Yeah... I thought maybe I could borrow him one night, try and get some practice in." Harry explained. "I've not really dealt with babies before, and I want to get it right."
"I'm sure you'll be brilliant." Draco reassured him.
"You... plan to take an active role, then?" Mother asked, and she sounded almost confused.
Harry lifted his chin up stubbornly and nodded. "Yes. I do. This is my kid, and my husband, and I want them to be happy."
Andromeda beamed in response, while Draco noticed that his mother looked more than a little shocked. But she nodded.
"I'm glad to hear it." She didn't actually sound glad, more uncertain, but Harry didn't seem to notice. "Drommy and I are here to help you." She looked at Draco as she said it, but Harry clearly thought she was speaking to both of them if his huge grin was anything to go by.
"Thanks. We might take you up on that, especially as we get closer to NEWTs, Draco's already overworking himself..."
And the conversation moved on, and they finished their drinks. Draco couldn't help thinking about how right everything felt at that moment. As though things were fitting into place. Teddy fell asleep. Finally, they were able to make their excuses and leave.
They stepped back into Grimmauld Place, and Draco turned and kissed Harry.
"Thank you for that."
"You don't... I should be thanking you." Harry shook his head. "You are remarkable." He hesitated a little. "We don't... we don't need to do anything. If you don't want to."
"And if I do want to?" Draco asked carefully.
"Last time, you were confused and you..." Harry shook his head. "You didn't seem sure if you wanted to-"
"I do." Draco said. "Trust me to just... make the right decision. To know what I want." Harry's lips were soft under his own, and it was easy to take Harry's hand and lead him to Draco's bedroom. "You... do want this, don't you Harry?"
"I do." Harry promised. They stepped in, and Draco waved his wand to draw the curtains and turn all the lights down as much as possible. He laid his photographs down so they wouldn't see anything inappropriate.
"Draco, it's dark in here." Harry sounded almost amused, and a moment later a few glowing orbs of light lit up the space, circling through the air. "I don't want to walk into the furniture."
"Maybe sit on the bed, and we can turn the lights off again?" Draco suggested, and Harry's eyes narrowed again.
"Draco, I know you've got the Mark. That's not going to change how I feel about any of this."
Sudden embarrassment crept down Draco's spine. He'd been so caught up in everything, he'd almost allowed himself to forget. "There's bandages over it."
"You don't need to have them-"
"Yes I do." Draco insisted. "I just... I just don't want to see it."
"Okay. Well I won't touch the bandages, not if they're important." Harry answered, gesturing to the space beside him. Draco hesitated, moving to sit next to him. He was aware of the lights, and he felt anxiety bubbling in his chest. After all, if Harry was going to see him in the light, he'd see the faded lines of the duel they'd shared in the bathroom.
Those scars were a permanent reminder of past mistakes he'd made. How foolish he'd been. And he was frightened in case seeing them would be something that Potter - that Harry couldn't forgive. He lay down, a little stiff. He tried to remember how to breathe.
Harry leaned in and kissed him, going to unbutton the first of the buttons on Draco's shirt.
"We don't need to go any further than you want-" Harry was murmuring as he unfastened the buttons.
An orb of light passed painfully close, and Harry froze. For a moment, Draco feared he would be sent away. And then Harry's fingers reached out, tracing the outline of those scars.
"I didn't realise they'd left... left such a mark."
"Pomfrey and Snape did wonderfully at... at healing it, really. If they hadn't it would be a lot more obvious." The scars were little more than pastel lines now. "I... I'm sorry. For what I tried... what I did."
"You were falling apart, Draco." Harry didn't seem to be willing to argue over it right now. "And we can talk about that, if you want, or we can... we can leave it. Until you're ready. But we..." Harry shook his head, leaning down, pressing a row of tender kisses to the line of the scars. "I want you, Draco." He said it so simply, so honestly. And Draco knew he could say no if he wanted to, and that would have been alright. But he didn't want to say no.
"I want you too, Harry. I've wanted you for a long time."
He would never have expected the degree of care and reverence that Harry showed him that night. How he made it clear he cared about Draco's pleasure, how he wasn't afraid to touch the scars. And afterwards, when Draco found himself smiling without meaning to, Harry laid down behind him and held him close.
Harry's hand rested against where their scorpion slumbered, and Draco allowed himself to hope. There was something about Harry that just... made it easy to hope with him. Draco was beginning to picture a future that didn't leave him afraid. He was beginning to picture a family.