Chapter TextSaturday morning, Draco was woken by Harry's arms tightening around him. Harry was cuddly in his sleep and when he first woke up, but he was careful. When he was awake he never pushed, so he was still in the process of waking up at that moment.
He felt Harry's face nuzzling at his hair and allowed it, thinking through the progress they had both made in their first week of studying. Draco had found he was behind, yes, but he wasn't as horrifically behind as he feared and that was good. He could work with that. He was hopeful he'd be able to take his NEWTs in at least Charms, Defence and Potions this year. The others might have to wait, but he was going to see how things went.
Harry's body tensed behind him, and this time Draco barely flinched. Harry carefully untangled himself from Draco's body, leaving him feeling a little cold and more abandoned than he'd want to admit.
"Sorry."
"It's alright, I understand I'm in bed with a Grindylow," Draco answered. "Should I make you tea?"
"Draco, you are a miracle." Harry muttered, still dopey from sleep.
Draco got out from the bed and pulled his dressing gown over his pyjamas, careful not to look back at Harry, not to notice how Harry fitted in his space. This was temporary. As Draco walked down to the kitchen he pressed a hand to his stomach. It was far too early for the child to show, but as soon as it did he would have to abandon any comfort he found in Potter's arms. Potter would find out, of course, the scorpion inside him forcing his own body to betray its secrets. But that was a problem for another day.
He quickly prepared the tea tray, pausing to point his wand at his stomach, to take another glimpse at his fragile secret. "Conceptum Revelare." He knew he was taking a risk, testing like this, but he needed to see the child, needed to know they were there. The pale green of his own magic lifted up and there again was his child's magic, a brilliant yellow sphere, no larger than the nail of his little finger. He gazed a few moments longer, before waving the magic away and carrying the tea up to Harry.
Harry was sitting up by the time he returned, looking considerably more awake and a little less dishevelled.
"Thanks." Harry grinned at him. "Knew there was a reason I married you." Almost as soon as he said it, he looked uncertain, as though he wasn't sure if he'd overstepped.
"You married me for my tea making skills? You do know most people have house-elves for that." Draco pointed out.
"My house-elf is at the school and sometimes puts maggots in my tea when he's having a bad day," Harry whined, taking a hot gulp of tea and then grinning. "I've got a surprise planned for you today..."
"Why, Potter, does that sentence fill me with a deep sense of terror?" Draco asked over his teacup, earning a slightly more bashful grin from the other man.
"It's a good surprise! I promise. Well… eighth year students are allowed to use the Floos at Hogwarts on weekends, because… well, some of them have jobs or family or… or whatever. So I thought. I mean, they're waiting on us saying yes, but Parkinson and Zabini both said they were free today so I thought I could go out for a walk or something and you could see-"
"Thank you, Potter. I would like that." Draco was glad his hands were full, so he didn't do something foolish like try to kiss Potter at that moment. He didn't think he could face seeing Greg. Draco wasn't even sure if he was allowed to see him or Theo, both of whom were, after all, the children of Death Eaters. But Pansy and Blaise had always stayed at a remove, with no direct familial involvement.
"Brilliant, I'll go and let them know…" Potter answered, clambering out of bed. Draco tried to ignore the fact Harry's shirt had managed to get tangled up, exposing a swathe of warm brown skin. He shouldn't stare. Potter had let him come here out of kindness, had shown Draco more care than he ever could have deserved. Draco didn't get to desecrate someone like Potter with his soiled touches.
Potter returned to the room after a couple of minutes, frowned a little, and walked over to tap Draco on the shoulder. "Draco? You okay? You're just…staring."
"I'm fine. Sorry."
"I can tell them you're ill, if you need… And I was going to say we can go to Andromeda's for dinner, but we can do that tomorrow if you'd like?"
"I think just seeing Pansy and Blaise would be enough for today," Draco said quickly. "But if Andromeda's around tomorrow…" He knew seeing his friends would be exhausting. He was desperate to see them, but he knew that they would have questions, and would demand answers. He didn't want to have to navigate his aunt on top of that.
"Sure. Sorry, I just… I only found out last night they could definitely make it, and you were already asleep by then…" Harry finished his tea. "See you at breakfast?"
"See you at breakfast." Draco answered. It was strange. The way the two of them lived together - not quite in overlap, but close enough that any absence was felt. Harry had a room he rarely slept in, and Draco… Draco knew he couldn't let this continue. That he had to pull away. He just wasn't sure how, not when it was so easy to be in Potter's embrace. He thought of his parents, and their separate bedrooms. The way that Mother had always sung under her breath when it was just the two of them, how she had promised she would keep him safe.
She'd kept that promise.
He was here. He'd come here to be safer than at Azkaban, but part of Draco felt safe here. As safe as he'd felt as a child when Father was out at the Ministry and he'd walked through the grounds holding his mother's hand.
He pushed that thought, that sense of safety, away and went to get dressed. Potter had made toast, and was eating it as Draco joined him in the kitchen, helping himself to the slices that had just popped out from Harry's toast-making box.
"I'm going out for a walk and to pick up some food," Potter explained, as though that was normal behaviour. "I'll be back around lunch, but feel free to still have Park-Pansy and Blaise here, if you want."
"Thank you." Draco tried to convey his sincerity in his words. He wasn't sure he'd ever be able to get used to how kind Harry was. How he seemed to be willing to give whatever he could, for anyone who needed it. Draco thought he'd have to keep an eye on that impulse, to stop Harry getting himself hurt.
"Have fun, try not to destroy the house," Harry teased with a smile, and Draco smiled back. He wondered at how easy it would be to slip into calling Potter Harry, how easy it would be for them to make a life out of what had been thrust upon them. But he knew that he couldn't let that happen.
Once Harry left, Draco went to smarten himself up. He needed to look in control, for his friends if nothing else. He sat by the fire in the living room trying to read, the words seeming to slip away if he stopped concentrating for even a second.
At half ten exactly, the flames turned green and he stood to greet his guests. It was Pansy who came through first. She ran straight to him and embraced him tightly. He let her cling to him, pressing his face into her dark hair, feeling her trembling in his arms. A moment later, Blaise stepped through and they nodded at each other.
"We got your letters," Pansy promised, as Blaise drew their wand to cast spells to block any monitoring charms. Draco tensed a little. He didn't want to get his friends into trouble with whatever they said, so he'd deal with Potter's anger later if it came to that.
"He's… he's letting you write, then? Is he… is he reading them?"
"No. It's alright. He's good to me."
His words didn't seem to sway them. Draco was aware he should be a good host, fetch the guests tea, but these were his guests. It was more important to spend every moment he could with them. They settled together around him, Pansy on the arm of the sofa as Blaise sat beside him in what was normally Potter's spot. He'd forgotten what it was like to just be in another person's space, the way they always had been as children. Silence fell, each lost in their own thoughts. Eventually, after a few moments of simply enjoying their presence, Draco cleared his throat.
"How's the school?"
That at least got Blaise talking all about the arrangements made for the returning students; how the school was rebuilding itself and several of the classrooms were moved around, how a few of the students were using wheelchairs, or sporting magical prosthetics, how Slughorn was being kept busy by a demand for Wolfsbane potion. Draco nodded along at the right points.
It was Pansy who interrupted, her pretty face set with a stubborn expression.
"Draco…" She reached out for his hand. "Greg's worried you hate him."
"I thought he… after everything… and I can't invite him here, can I?" Draco asked them. "And Potter… Potter's been patient, but there's a difference between letting me study and … given Greg's father, you know?"
Pansy's lips pressed together, but she held her tongue, because she was a good friend. Draco was grateful for that.
"Which classes are you taking?" She asked after a moment, and Draco relaxed a little. Talking about school was easier than talking about the war. Eventually the conversation moved on.
"How's the Quidditch team looking?"
"Appalling," Blaise sighed, tossing their head back with a sigh. "Honestly Greg's probably the best-looking guy on there."
Draco smirked. "You know what I meant."
"It's a disaster." Pansy laughed. "Harper's alright - he's not you, but he'll do. Greg's struggling to match up with…well, without…" She swallowed, and Draco was hit with the realisation that his friends were just children as well and the war had hurt them too. "Vaisey's scoring is… he's the best we've got, but we're going to get slaughtered by Gryffindor. And of course… that's what everyone wants. Harder we lose, happier the other Houses will be."
"You were brave to go back." Draco told her, and she managed a watery smile.
"I had to. I'm the prefect, and…. Blaise, too."
"Much to Slughorn's delight," Blaise groaned, putting their head in their hands. "Honestly, I'm wondering if I can get him set up with my mother, at least then we'd be free of him."
"He's not so bad," Pansy muttered. "Right now, anyone who is on our side…"
"I'm sorry I couldn't be there with you," Draco answered, even though that had never been an option.
"You'll be back for the exams though, right? So we should keep a bed for you in the dormitory," Blaise suggested hopefully. Draco looked away.
"I don't know. I mean, maybe, but I might be with Potter." By then, everyone would know about the secret growing inside of him. If Potter hadn't gotten rid of him by then, Draco… Draco didn't want to risk the Slytherin dorms. Not when people knew he was carrying the Chosen One's child. Not when people knew he was a Death Eater. Equally hated by both sides.
"He can't demand sex when you have exams!" Pansy protested, snapping him out of his thoughts. "I… I'll speak to the Headmistress, if he's being unreasonable there must be something-"
Draco shook his head. "He's not… he's being kind. Patient. It's alright." He was a little shaken by Pansy's belief that they could do something. The war had happened, and his friends still thought that fairness mattered.
They talked. They spent an hour reminiscing, and Draco fetched his old photograph. The three of them crowded around it to look down at their younger selves. They'd been so innocent then. Potter came back with some shopping, and Blaise dismantled the protective barriers they'd put up as Pansy smiled obsequiously at Harry. They didn't want to stay, not with Harry there.
Both of them embraced him before they hurried back through the fire, making their excuses about needing to go back to school. Harry's arms wrapped around Draco from behind, and he leaned into the embrace. "How were they?"
"Good. It… Thank you." Draco didn't have the words for how much it meant, but Harry smiled and shrugged the thanks away.
"Maybe we should go out for lunch? There's a cafe not far from here…"
Draco had never liked using the Floo Network, but it was definitely worse now. He kept his arms wrapped around himself, feeling a bit sick as he stumbled out into his aunt's parlour. For once, Potter wasn't coated in soot.
"Well done on the barrier charm."
"I've been practising," Harry answered with a smile that made Draco's heart twist a little in his chest.
He didn't want to examine that too deeply. Luckily, before he could, his aunt walked over to cuddle Harry and shake Draco's hand. Little Teddy was curled up in a crib nearby, and Draco spotted the teddies that he and Harry had given in the crib beside the little boy.
"Thank you for letting me come and visit, Andromeda," Draco said politely, his aunt's name still tasting strange in his mouth.
"Thank you for coming," she said as she went to sit down, gesturing for Harry and Draco to take the sofa opposite her armchair. "I saw your mother on Wednesday, she's so happy you're writing to her Draco, she really does miss you."
"How is she doing?" Draco asked, before he could stop himself.
"She's managing." Andromeda said softly. "I know… I've suggested she could move here, but she's not sure about leaving the Manor…"
"I'll speak to her," Draco reassured. "Thank you. I worry… I worry about her being there by herself."
Harry looked almost painfully concerned, but before he could say anything Teddy began to fuss. Draco's eyes went straight to Potter, seeing how he responded was vital information for his scorpion. If it made Potter angry he'd have to be careful. He could do that. He could do anything for his child.
But Harry was immediately on his feet, walking over to Teddy and scooping him up in his arms. He shushed him softly and bounced him with a look of love in his eyes. Draco took a shaky breath, crossing his arms unconsciously.
"Do… do you need me to take him, Potter?"
"I've got him, haven't I, Teddy Bear?" Harry asked, walking around the room for a moment, before sitting back on the sofa, closer to Draco to show off the child.
He wasn't trying to hand him over, wasn't demanding Draco keep the kid quiet. Instead, he was smiling down at Teddy with affection that Draco couldn't quite understand. What Harry was doing was working, Teddy was gurgling happily and raising one podgy hand towards Harry's glasses. Harry beamed and stuck his tongue out - childish, utterly relaxed and at ease with a babe in his arms.
"You… you're good with him, Harry." The name escaped before Draco could stop it, and Harry looked at him, almost shyly, and nodded.
"Thank you." Harry hesitated, clearly aware of Draco's slip. "You hadn't… thanks." He glanced down at the child in his arms. "I don't… I mean, I want… wanted kids. But there's no rush, and there's always adoption, and if you don't…" Draco sat there frozen, unable to work out what to say. Thankfully, Teddy started wiggling and Harry redirected his attention. "I've got the best little godson, don't I Teddy? That's enough…" Harry looked almost guilty, and Draco placed a reassuring hand on his arm.
"He's lucky to have you, Harry. We both are."
Harry looked up at him, and just for a moment Draco allowed himself to picture kissing Harry and telling him about their scorpion. He wouldn't, not yet. But watching the care with which Harry held Teddy, he felt more secure than before. Harry wasn't going to hurt either child, Draco was almost certain of it.
Harry and Andromeda talked, and Draco joined in when he could with updates on how his studies were going. At one point he ended up holding Teddy. He gazed at the little boy, whose hair gained a blond streak matching Draco's own. Draco supposed he would be alright with his child being related to this little one. He wondered if perhaps they would be allowed to play together - he'd wanted friends his own age when he was little, perhaps his child would have one.
The food that night was amazing, and the two of them stumbled to bed far too late, having been caught up listening to stories of Andromeda's childhood. It was strange for Draco, picturing Mother as a little girl. But he was glad she hadn't been alone at that age. He changed into pyjamas while Harry went elsewhere to get dressed. He was careful to ensure the Dark Mark was covered before Harry returned.
Monday morning came and Draco felt nausea stirring within him. He pushed Harry's arms away, frantic, and rushed to the bathroom just in time. He heard footsteps behind him and was surprised when Harry's fingers brushed across his back.
"I can go, if you want, I mean…" Harry was saying, and Draco moaned weakly, sweeping his foot out to try and keep Harry close. Harry took the hint and shushed him softly as he rubbed his back. He handed over a glass of water so that Draco could swill his mouth out and then take slow sips.
"Maybe you should just rest today," Harry suggested. Draco hesitated - he'd put most of today aside for Ancient Runes. He needed to study, needed to do something. But he couldn't… slowly, he nodded.
"I'll see how I feel. Thanks, Harry."
He didn't think he'd be capable of work at that moment. He also slowly realised why, exactly, he'd woken up ill. He'd known before he was on a countdown before Potter found out what had happened, about the life growing within him, but he'd thought… he'd thought he had a little more time at least.
But no. His scorpion was reminding him of his priorities, of his goal. He couldn't keep playing at having a good life with Potter, because his child mattered more.
Potter was looking at him in concern.
"You should go and lie down."
He kept trying to touch Draco's forehead, muttering about what might have made him sick and talking about looking up diagnostic spells. That last one sent a fresh wave of nausea through Draco.
"I'll do some research after I've rested. I want to work it out for myself."
Potter seemed to agree to that, supporting Draco back to his bedroom and settling him with care on the sheets. He placed a glass of water and a bin within reach.
"I'll be back soon, you just stay there." Draco nodded. He would normally have said something about not feeling up to leaving, but he didn't want to risk causing problems right now.
"Draco, a book arrived for you." Potter called out from downstairs. Draco closed his eyes, pleading with Merlin, Circe, Morgana and everyone else out there that Potter wouldn't open the book, or that if he did Potter would be foolish enough not to put together the information that was there on the page in front of him. Harry came hurrying up the stairs and handed it over, still in its brown paper packaging.
"Thanks," Draco mumbled, curling up a little around his stomach and hoping Potter wouldn't demand to see what he had ordered. He wondered if it would be better to refuse than to show it, or lie that it was Pansy's. That was the plan, he reminded himself. He could lie and say it was Pansy's.
"Do you think you can manage some toast, if I bring it up?" Potter asked, his voice painfully tender. Draco nodded and used the time Potter was gone to hide his new book. He picked another one from his shelf so that he could show Potter that instead and hopefully hide his scorpion for a little longer.
Harry ended up sitting beside him on the bed reading while Draco waited for the nausea to pass. By lunchtime he felt stronger, and they moved to the library to continue their studies.