Training's done. Muscles aching. Sweat dripping. Ego intact.
That's right, baby. I've survived yet another chaotic trial, and this time with Yae Miko watching me like I'm some kind of sideshow act—granted, she's not entirely wrong.
Yae, that smug, dangerously clever fox, crosses her arms and smiles in that "I-know-everything-and-you're-just-a-piece-in-my-game" way. She says, "You already get the gist of everything, don't you?"
Paimon, bless her floating soul, pipes up. "Yep! Shigeru already told us everything. About Ei. About you. About you being the smug pet fox of the Electro Archon."
...
Did she just say that out loud?
My soul leaves my body. My feet are frozen. My heart? It's packing its bags and getting ready to flee to Mondstadt.
Yae's eyes narrow into slits. Her ears twitch.
I turn slowly, oh-so-slowly, to Paimon. "Shut up, floating emergency food! You're going to get me murdered!"
Paimon: "Ehhh?? What did Paimon do?!"
Yae doesn't blink. She turns to me with an unreadable expression. I start sweating harder than Chongyun in a volcano.
"A smug pet fox, hmm?" she repeats, her voice dripping honey and potential homicide and slowly tilting her head. "How... intriguing."
"Th-that was a joke! Hehe..." I laugh, tugging at my collar. "I'm... part clown when I feel like it. You know. Certified idiot. Class S."
She just brushes it off with the grace of a woman who's already added me to her burn list. Like I don't even rate a proper verbal smackdown. That's... worse, somehow.
I collapse inwardly. Internally screaming. Externally grinning. Crisis avoided. Probably.
Back at the Grand Narukami Shrine, Yae's all business. She dives into a detailed rant—like, detailed-detailed—about how the Tenryou Commission and the Kanjou Commission are basically in bed with the Fatui. It's like a whole soap opera minus the shirtless slow-motion scenes.
Paimon interrupts with, "Wait, wait, wait. Rebellion? After everything you said, sounds like they've already rebelled!"
Yae chuckles, and I swear I see sparkles appear around her. "When I say rebellion, I don't mean betraying the Shogunate. I mean inciting a certain someone to betray the Tenryou Commission."
I sigh. Loudly. Dramatically. Like the main character of a soap opera who just found out their twin brother is actually their pet dog in disguise.
"You mean Kujou Mama," I mutter.
And right on cue...
"DON'T MOVE A MUSCLE!"
The air freezes. The leaves stop rustling. Even my brain pauses buffering.
There she is. Kujou Sara. Lightning incarnate. The mama bird of discipline. With enough murderous aura to scare even Itto into good manners.
"YOU! You've got some nerve showing up here when there's an active warrant for your arrest! Surrender now! Seize them!"
I blink.
I blink again.
Right. Kujou Mama.
I lift a hand, so done with today's shenanigans. "Right. Kujou Mama. Love the new glare. Really brings out the threat of execution."
Her soldiers hesitate. Of course they do. There's a madman here. A certified chaotic element. Me. Hello. I wave politely.
"Yeah yeah," I wave lazily, yawning. "Can we, like, chill for a sec? Take a deep breath? Meditate, maybe?"
They look at me like I just told them to hug a hilichurl.
I turn to Lumine. "Hey, Lumine. Handle her, will ya? I've got other stuff to do."
Lumine: "You're leaving again?! WHY?!"
Me: "Look, this isn't me ditching responsibility. It's me delegating. Totally different."
Yae, because she's always listening, cuts in, "Let him go, Traveler. You alone are more than enough."
She turns to me, sly grin. "Still have business with that Yashiro rascal, right?"
I smirk. "Watch and learn, foxy. I don't plan for a single situation. I plan three versions ahead."
She raises an eyebrow but doesn't ask. Probably because she knows I'll say something dumb again.
And so here I am.
Marching toward the Kamisato Estate.
Again.
Back to the Yashiro Commissioner.
Back to Ayato, the Hydro Daddy of my life.
(Okay no, that came out wrong—maybe right—but mostly wrong.)
Anyway, I've got a plan. A bold one. A dangerous one. One that probably has a 42% chance of backfiring spectacularly. But hey, that's better odds than usual!
Let's go.
Let's bother Ayato.
Let's stir chaos.
Let's prove that even if I act like a clown... I'm your clown, Teyvat.
***
You know, I always thought being wanted in an entire nation would feel cooler. Like, "Hey, look at me! I'm a walking, talking, wanted poster!" But nooo—every guard I passed on the way here either ran, fainted, or screamed like I was some sort of legend. Which, to be fair, I am. But not that kind of legend.
Still, Kamisato Estate—here I come.
Yes. Because if you're going to go full chaos mode, go big or go home, right?
Now, I could have gone in through the front gate like a normal, civilized individual— but then again, I'm not normal. And definitely not civilized.
I leapt over the garden wall like some kind of masked vigilante, tumbled across the koi pond, nearly crashed into a very terrified shrine maiden, and then popped out into the main courtyard like a dramatic main character.
"Ayayaaa~!"
I bust through the door like a celebrity making a grand entrance at a fan meet. Except instead of adoring fans, I'm greeted by Thoma's face going pale and Ayaka flinching like she's seen a ghost.
"Y-You?!" Thoma gasps. "How in the Archon's name did you get here?! There's an arrest warrant with your face on every post!"
I launched myself at Ayaka before she could process the threat level.
"Ayayaaa~! Did you miss me?! Huh? Huh? Did you?! Be honest, I know you did. Everyone misses this face."
Ayaka lets out a soft cough.
Oh no.
"WAIT. ARE YOU SICK?! Ayaya?! Ayaya don't die on me! Stay with me! Who do I have to beat up?! Is it the weather? I KNEW I should've fought the weather today—"
"Shigeru," she murmurs, deadpan. "It's a cough. To make you stop."
Thoma's face says it all: a combination of 'I'm too tired for this' and 'why is this my life.'
He sighs. Laughs. Then sighs again.
"Okay, okay... What's going on? What mess did you bring with you this time?"
I give him my signature grin. The one that says 'I definitely did something insane but it worked.'
"Relax. Lumine will be here in no time. She'll probably ask for help, do the usual world-saving routine, you know. In the meantime... I got stuff to do."
Thoma's brow twitches.
"You mean—"
He leans in, voice low.
"Lord Ayato's waiting. At the usual spot."
Ah. My man.
I grinned, gave him a thumbs up, and tapped his shoulder twice. "You're learning fast, Thoma. I'm proud of you."
"I shouldn't be proud of this," he muttered, but he was smiling.
—
I strolled to the back of the Kamisato Estate—the place where the gardens met the edge of the hill overlooking the sea. It was always quiet here. Peaceful.
There he was. The Hydro Daddy himself. Kamisato Ayato. Standing there, looking off into the horizon like a final boss waiting for his cutscene to end.
He doesn't even turn around.
"Yo," I said, dramatically plopping beside him like a falling sack of potatoes. "Miss me?"
"You're late," Ayato replied, still not turning.
I huffed. "There were... obstacles. And head pats. And surprise coughs."
He finally looked at me and smirked.
"Still, you made it. Exactly when you needed to."
"See? Perfect timing is my thing."
Ayato's voice turned thoughtful. "You really are amazing. You predicted everything almost to the hour. Thanks to you, I've done some damage control. The Tenryou and Kanjou Commissions didn't get to pull off their entire plan."
I smirk.
"Told ya. I'm like a divine raccoon with a sixth sense for drama."
Ayato turns slightly, his usually composed face giving the smallest hint of a grin.
"I also managed to put a perfect plan in motion. One that puts you in the right position."
I place my hands behind my head, stretching.
"Mmhmm. I knew you'd take that paper seriously."
Ayato chuckles.
"At first I thought it was just scribbles. Random words. But when I started connecting the dots... it made sense."
He raises a hand, counting them off.
"Tenryou Commission. Kanjou Commission. Fatui. Coalition. Mindbreak. Vision. Delusion."
"Sounds like a playlist to a very cursed rave," I mutter.
He continues, ignoring me.
"Confusing, yes. But once I pieced it all together... it aligned. Perfectly. You win our bet."
I grin. Victory tastes like dango milk.
"You know what that means."
Ayato sighs, a small smile on his lips.
"Fine. I'll approach Lady Chiori like you wanted."
Now we're talking.
"But let me ask," he adds, raising an elegant brow. "Why her, in particular?"
I tilt my head, smile fading just a little.
"I'll explain when we finish this mission. But know this, Ayato... I'm not just planning for Inazuma. I'm planning for all of Teyvat."
He looks at me, more serious now.
"A master plan..."
I nod.
"You're already part of it. Whether you like it or not."
He laughs softly.
"Good. I was starting to get bored anyway."
That's my Hydro Daddy for yah.
Ayato's gaze was like one of those mysterious anime dudes standing dramatically against a sunset—except there wasn't any sunset, just the sky turning moodily dark like someone forgot to pay the electric bill.
He exhaled slowly, as if savoring the moment. "For now," he muttered, pausing like a philosopher about to drop a deep quote that would go viral on quote apps.
He looked up, brows slightly furrowed, and then back at me. "Your companions… they're moving alongside my sister's resistance team. Everything is underway. But you," his finger pointed right at my handsome face, "you need to lie low."
I blinked.
Me? Lie low?
Buddy, I am the low. I'm already underground with how chaotic this plan is.
He continued, totally ignoring my internal protest. "Out of everyone involved, you're the most dangerous. A wildcard. A living headache. So, avoid being seen for a while."
"I'm honored," I said with a grin, giving him a dramatic bow like I was accepting an Oscar for "Most Wanted Idiot in Inazuma."
"But seriously…" Ayato's tone shifted to that Serious Ayato Mode. "According to your plan, you want to save that Harbinger, right?"
Now this is where it gets spicy.
"Why?" he asked, folding his arms. "Aren't the Fatui the enemy right now? Why save one of their highest-ranking officials?"
I smiled. You know, that really smug kind of smile that makes people want to slap you gently with a teacup.
"Because," I said, slowly pacing like a genius in a drama scene. "We can defeat the Fatui, sure. But should we weaken them?"
He raised a brow.
"It's all part of the grand plan to save Teyvat. Think chess. She's one of their queens. If we take her out, yeah, we win that battle. But we might just lose the war."
Ayato stared at me for a moment.
Then he nodded. Slowly. Like a wise monk who just understood a metaphor about frogs and boiling water.
"I see…" he murmured. "She's a powerhouse in Snezhnaya. If we keep her alive, we can redirect that power later. Understood."
God, I love working with smart people.
And just as he said that, BOOM!
Fireworks lit up the sky like Teyvat's got talent was happening live. Color exploded over the estate—reds, golds, and those really annoying ones that look like they're gonna form a shape but don't.
Ayato didn't even flinch.
He just glanced upward and said with the grace of a poetic god, "It has started, huh?"
I, on the other hand, flinched like a raccoon hearing a soda can crack open.
"Yeah," I said, regaining my chill and fixing my imaginary collar. "Time to bounce."
And so, we made our exit. Two dudes against the world. One handsome and strategic. The other also handsome but a little stupid.
_______________________________
End of Chapter 63
Quests Completed:
*Ditch your partner again for your own personal agenda
*Enter the Kamisato Estate While Being Wanted Across Inazuma
*Reunite With Ayaka in the Most Annoying Way Possible
*Reaffirm Secret Alliance With Ayato
*Lie Low Despite Being Public Enemy #1
Rewards:
*+1 Alliance Strength (Kamisato Estate)
*+100 Friendship with Ayato
*+50 Worry Points from Ayaka
*+1 Hidden Affection Point (Thoma)
*+1 Secret Objective Unlocked: Lady Chiori?
*Access Unlocked: Kamisato Estate Back Garden (Secret Strategic Meeting Spot)
*+1 Firework Cutscene Unlocked