Ningguang had ultimately chosen to yield. But what was Keqing thinking?
With this question lingering in her mind, Qin Yu arrived at Keqing's office door the next day.
As per their usual arrangement, she was scheduled to serve as Keqing's secretary today.
Unlike Ningguang, Keqing woke up very early, so there was usually no need to prepare breakfast for her or assist with her morning preparations. Qin Yu could go straight to the office.
Is Keqing inside right now?
Her heart pounding nervously, Qin Yu finally took a deep breath and knocked on the door.
"Who is it?"
She's here! Qin Yu replied anxiously, "It's me."
After a moment of silence, Keqing responded in a toneless voice:
"Come in."
The moment Qin Yu pushed the door open, her eyes met Keqing's, who was sitting behind her desk.
"Good morning," Qin Yu said.
Keqing averted her gaze, her voice slightly stiff as she said, "Mn, good morning. Speaking of which, today's the day you start as my secretary."
Keqing's reaction made Qin Yu's chest tighten.
If only Keqing would look at me directly, or ask me to brush her hair like Ningguang does, or even act a little affectionate... I'd feel so much more at ease.
But Keqing simply said, "Then without further ado, let's get to work."
"Ah, right..."
Work first, huh?
Of course. We can't let personal matters interfere with the Qixing's affairs.
Besides, it'll help take my mind off things.
Qin Yu straightened her posture and joined Keqing in her tasks.
Like Ningguang, Keqing clearly wasn't the type to let personal matters affect her professional ability. Her efficiency remained high, and she even heeded Qin Yu's earlier advice, taking longer breaks.
Meanwhile, Qin Yu tried to glean any hints from Keqing's every move during their shared work time, hoping to glimpse her feelings and thoughts about their relationship.
But Keqing neither distanced herself nor drew closer.
Even with the "shackles" recently re-fastened on her wrist, Qin Yu sensed a persistent fog between them.
She could reach out, following the unique connection that bound them together, and try to grasp Keqing, but... but what? Qin Yu's thoughts suddenly stalled.
Ningguang's words echoed in Qin Yu's mind:
"If you want me to love you more, you must first express your love for me," Ningguang had said.
Be proactive.
If she wanted to maintain and deepen her relationship with Shenhe and the others, she needed to be more proactive.
For someone with her reserved personality, expressing herself openly was a real challenge.
She could only bring herself to voice such difficult feelings when she was acting in character.
But now she no longer needed to wear a mask around them.
She had to find a way to be more proactive while remaining her authentic self.
Alright! Qin Yu resolved. Once her work had temporarily paused, she gently placed her hand on the back of Keqing's hand.
"Can I hold your hand?" Qin Yu asked, her embarrassment barely contained.
Keqing's eyes flickered slightly before settling into a complex expression.
"...Yes," she finally replied.
Evaluation: D
Relief washed over Qin Yu as she lightly clasped Keqing's hand.
Soft and warm, though noticeably larger than when they held hands as children, the sensation remained the same.
Keqing's face gradually flushed red. With her other hand, she fussed with her bangs before exhaling softly.
"Okay."
With that, Keqing turned to her. "The work has reached a lull. Now is the perfect time. Let's talk."
Wow, this is so formal!
But that's just Keqing's style—always serious about her work and about me, Qin Yu thought, nodding.
After they sat down on the sofa together, Keqing lowered her head, unsure how to begin.
"I've been thinking a lot lately—about you, about myself, and about Ningguang and the others," Keqing said slowly.
Qin Yu could only reply with a quiet, "Mm."
"There's no denying it, and no room for doubt—I love you, in... the romantic sense," Keqing said, her cheeks flushing crimson.
Evaluation: C-
The sudden confession made Qin Yu's face burn fiercely.
But Keqing continued softly, "I don't want to lose you. To me, you're the most important person in my life."
"I once wondered if being just friends, childhood friends, or family would be enough. I even planned to examine my feelings today."
Keqing lifted her head, gazing at Qin Yu beside her.
"But I can't do it."
Keqing's complex gaze, filled with countless emotions, made Qin Yu's heart clench.
"I can accept change, but only the kind that moves us forward, not the kind that sets us back."
Keqing leaned in and pressed her lips firmly against Qin Yu's.
Evaluation: C+
Evaluation: B
Evaluation: A-
Qin Yu tried her best to respond and breathe, but still found it difficult to catch her breath. Mixed into the passionate, intense sweetness of the kiss was another emotion, giving it a slightly bitter edge.
Panting, Keqing said, "But I can't have you all to myself. You don't belong to me alone. Even with your special status, it's the same."
Qin Yu hugged Keqing tightly, only able to say, "I'll always be by your side."
Evaluation: A+
"Really?"
"Mm-hmm, really. I decided that long ago, even when we were kids. I don't want to be separated from you, Keqing, and I don't want any distance between us," Qin Yu said.
Keqing pressed her lips together tightly.
Qin Yu would always be by her side—that was wonderful, exactly what she craved. She wanted to spend her entire life with Qin Yu too.
But Qin Yu would never belong to her alone.
In fact, it seemed he didn't even like her in a romantic sense.
"Qin Yu, you said the most important thing to you was our relationship. You said you wanted us to always be together, never apart, without any barriers between us... That's why you accepted our confessions, right?"
Keqing suddenly brought up the topic, and Qin Yu paused, then nodded.
"That's exactly right."
"You also admitted you weren't sure if your feelings for us were romantic, didn't you?" Keqing asked softly.
"Mm... I'm sorry."
Keqing shook her head. "There's no need to apologize. But I need to know."
If your feelings for us aren't romantic... if what matters most to you isn't status but our connection...
"Then what should I do?"
"Huh?"
Keqing pursed her lips, unwilling to give up. "This is the first time I've heard you think this way. Though it perfectly aligns with your personality—you've always been like this since childhood—I've never heard you say it before."
"Yet Shenhe and Ganyu understand your feelings better."
"Even better than I, your childhood friend."
Keqing took a deep breath and said earnestly, "I'm frustrated, but I also realize I'm not mature enough—far from it. My own romantic feelings made me overlook what truly matters most to both of us."
She gently touched Qin Yu's bracelet.
Qin Yu immediately understood Keqing's thoughts and intentions.
For them, the bracelets were proof that they had "handcuffed" themselves to each other once more, promising never to be separated again, their hearts forever connected.
They were shackles, treasures that bound their inner selves together.
The "shackles" they each possessed were, in truth, the other's missing half. Qin Yu recalled the moment she and Keqing had first put on the bracelets.
The most important thing is the heart.
"Keqing..." Qin Yu murmured.
Seeing this, Keqing knew Qin Yu understood her meaning, a realization that filled her with deep joy.
Yet Keqing continued, "I don't know what to do. I... love you, and I want us to be lovers."
"But your feelings for me aren't the same as mine."
"I can't ignore your feelings any longer, nor should I. So, tell me—what should I do? And what are you thinking?" Keqing leaned forward, asking with a hint of nervousness.
Keqing had laid her heart bare, presenting it openly to Qin Yu.
What am I thinking...? Qin Yu hesitated. But faced with Keqing's sincere vulnerability, she knew she had to reveal her own true feelings.
Only by doing so can we truly understand each other to the fullest extent.
I need to express myself.
Qin Yu took Keqing's hands in hers, whispering, "To me, human relationships are fragile, capable of breaking at any moment. My teacher once told me it wasn't so, and I've come to understand that a little better."
"But I still want a strong, unbreakable bond."
"For me, romantic relationships fall into the fragile category. They can be affected and twisted by all sorts of things, which is why I've never taken my own romantic relationships very seriously."
Keqing now understood why Shenhe had said Qin Yu also desired a "relationship that transcends all others."
Precisely because Qin Yu believed romantic relationships were fragile, she had never given them much attention.
Naturally, she was also uncertain whether her affection for them was romantic in nature.
So, what I desire is what Qin Yu doesn't want? Keqing thought, her feelings complex.
Then... should we remain friends instead?
"But..." Qin Yu's tone shifted.
She cupped Keqing's face in her hands and gently sealed her lips with a tender kiss.
The honey-sweet scent flushed Keqing's face crimson, and the warmth enveloped her like a soothing balm, bringing her a continuous sense of contentment. She closed her eyes, hugging Qin Yu tightly as she let herself sink into the moment.
Evaluation: S
Evaluation: SS-
Evaluation: SS+
Evaluation: SSS-
After their minds and bodies had been stirred for a long while, Qin Yu finally spoke, her cheeks flushed a deep red: "If you still want to be lovers, Keqing, I'll accept it."
"Eh? But didn't you say...?" Keqing asked, surprised.
A romantic relationship was fragile, not what she had envisioned.
But as Ningguang had pointed out, relationships ultimately depended on the individuals involved.
"The resilience of a bond depends on who you're with. It's about the people involved, not the type of bond. Even familial ties aren't necessarily unbreakable."
Like Shenhe and her father.
"And romantic relationships aren't necessarily doomed to fragility."
Everything was just a possibility, and it all depended on how we handled it.
Qin Yu pressed her forehead against Keqing's, her hand resting on Keqing's chest. As she inhaled the comforting scent and felt the warmth enveloping her, she continued:
"Besides, I believe... that our relationship will one day become the kind I've always dreamed of. So let's take it one step at a time, no need to rush."
"For now, just being with you, Keqing, and never being apart, is enough to make me content."
But to never be apart and maintain this connection, she knew she needed to be more proactive in expressing her feelings.
Keqing's heart burned with warmth, and for a moment, she was at a loss for words.
"So, Keqing, if you want me to, I'll fulfill your desires," Qin Yu stammered. "Though... I'm not very experienced in these matters. If you find my efforts lacking, I won't be offended."
"Just hurry up and choose!"
Keqing snapped out of her daze, blushing fiercely, but still said earnestly, "Yes, I want it. And... I also want to try to make you develop romantic feelings for me."
Though I'm not sure how to do that yet.
"Ah, um... so you, Keqing..."
Keqing sighed softly. "I've accepted it—or rather, I've conceded. I can't abandon you, nor do I want to. I certainly can't regress to a relationship even less than lovers."
"...I see," Qin Yu murmured.
So, that's settled then.
From now on, she would still be Keqing and Ningguang's lover, and they had finally chosen to accept this.
Of course, the wounds inflicted couldn't heal instantly; it would likely take time to mend them little by little.
But at least the future looked promising.
One day, her relationship with Keqing and Ningguang would transcend mere lovers, becoming something deeper and more enduring. With this thought, Qin Yu's heart swelled with anticipation.
To achieve this, she needed to take the initiative in expressing herself to better maintain their current relationship.
Alright, let's do it.
"You can be as clingy with me as you want today!" Qin Yu was about to say, spreading her arms wide, when Keqing misinterpreted her meaning.
Does this mean I can do anything to her? Keqing thought, her heart racing.
Anything...
Keqing pulled Qin Yu into a tight embrace and sealed their lips once more.
This startled Qin Yu, and by the time she regained her composure, Keqing had already pinned her to the sofa, murmuring, "After all, we're girlfriends now..."
Qin Yu frantically pushed Keqing away, unable to help asking, "Wh-what do you want to do?"
Keqing immediately panicked at the question.
She couldn't possibly tell Qin Yu what had been on her mind just now. If Qin Yu thought she was eager for that kind of thing, it would be over. No matter what, she knew she couldn't rush things.
Stuttering, Keqing mumbled vaguely, "I... I just want to do some things that lovers do."
Qin Yu immediately clutched her chest, her voice bristling with wariness like a startled cat: "N-not yet! Keqing, you understand, right?"
"Huh?"
"Hmm?"
Keqing hadn't expected Qin Yu to be on the same wavelength. Amidst her embarrassment and shyness, a surge of delight bloomed within her.
After a moment's thought, she decided not to drop the subject. Instead, she asked, "When will we be ready?"
"Don't ask me."
"If I don't ask you, who else can I ask?" Keqing countered.
"I don't know."
"Then... sometime in the future?" Keqing pressed.
Qin Yu turned her face away. "I don't know. Don't ask me."
"...Well, can we at least kiss?"
That much should be okay... Qin Yu nodded slightly. While she didn't particularly enjoy it, it would be unreasonable to deny even kissing between lovers.
With this consent, Keqing's expression softened as she leaned in again.
In a daze, Qin Yu realized that both Keqing and Ningguang were now her girlfriends, and both seemed eager to cross that line, their desires burning strong.
Is this kind of future truly good? She couldn't help but feel a flicker of unease.