At Ningguang's request, Qin Yu, though intensely embarrassed, helped her change into her everyday attire.
She had expected Ningguang to continue doing strange things during this process, such as intentionally or unintentionally letting their bodies brush against each other, but Ningguang ultimately just stood there stiffly.
If you're so shy, why are you making me do this? Qin Yu grumbled inwardly.
The sight of Ningguang's smooth, beautiful skin earlier had her heart racing incessantly. As Qin Yu tried to banish these distracting thoughts, she said:
"All done. I'll help you with your hair now."
"Mm."
Once Ningguang sat at the vanity, Qin Yu picked up a hairpin and neatly arranged her hair.
After studying the result carefully for a moment, Qin Yu nodded in satisfaction. "Perfect. That's all. We've already been delayed too long. Let's go have breakfast."
Ningguang stood up, only to embrace Qin Yu again.
"Wait, didn't we agree to have breakfast? Don't keep me waiting," Qin Yu said, a hint of annoyance in her voice.
"Just a few seconds more."
Qin Yu sighed helplessly. "Still clinging to bed, huh?"
"Exactly. I want to sleep a little longer."
"I'm not your bed, you know," Qin Yu retorted, subtly acknowledging the underlying implication in Ningguang's words.
Ningguang was indeed acting unusually today, being unusually affectionate and clingy.
"Really just a few seconds, okay? I'll be mad if you go over," Qin Yu warned, returning the embrace.
After all this cuddling, she should be satisfied, right?
Thankfully, the breakfast hadn't gone completely cold. During the meal, Ningguang seemed to revert to her usual composed demeanor, putting Qin Yu at ease.
She knew it was unrealistic to expect Ningguang to return to her old self so quickly under these circumstances, but she still hoped for it.
During the morning's work hours, Ningguang behaved exactly as before.
Every matter was handled with impeccable logic, public and private affairs alike dealt with efficiently and effectively. Throughout it all, she maintained her signature composure and air of complete control.
Qin Yu nodded inwardly.
That's more like it!
But the break time brought a change.
"Come sit on my lap," Ningguang said.
"Um, we're still in the office... What if someone comes in?" Qin Yu said, her face flushing. In the Jade Chamber, Ningguang's office had no door.
Though it was unlikely anyone would come, what if they did?
Ningguang casually remarked, "Don't worry, Baiwen and the others won't be back anytime soon. Or... do you plan to break our agreement?"
"Who said I'd break it? I just wish you'd consider the setting."
"There's no one here now, which makes it perfect. Trust me."
"Couldn't we at least go to another room?" Qin Yu muttered, but she still relented and sat on Ningguang's lap.
And then what?
Just as she was thinking this, Ningguang buried her face against Qin Yu's chest.
Startled by Ningguang's sudden action, Qin Yu glanced quickly at the doorway, relieved to find no one nearby. With a mix of relief and exasperation, she asked, "You're older than me, right?"
"In what sense?" Ningguang asked knowingly, feigning ignorance.
Qin Yu's face flushed even brighter. "Of course, in terms of age!"
What else could I mean?
Ningguang replied softly, "Age-wise, I am indeed older than you. What about it?"
"Then... aren't you embarrassed to be acting so spoiled with someone younger?"
And she's been acting spoiled all day! Qin Yu added silently, but she also found this side of Ningguang rather endearing, so she patted her head.
Ningguang, who hadn't felt any embarrassment before, suddenly felt a pang of embarrassment.
"No," she insisted, though her voice wavered slightly.
She actually said "no."
It wasn't that Qin Yu disliked Ningguang acting this way; on the contrary, Ningguang's affection was a sign of their closeness.
So, even though it felt a bit strange, Qin Yu accepted it.
"Do you hate it?" Ningguang asked.
"What if I said I did?" Qin Yu replied teasingly.
Ningguang declared, "I won't allow you to hate it."
Wow, that's quite the response.
Just as Qin Yu was about to retort, Ningguang continued, "I've already made concessions. You should make some for me too, shouldn't you?"
Qin Yu fell silent instantly.
"That's such a cunning argument," she murmured, stroking Ningguang's head gently.
With that, I can't refuse at all.
"You're cunning too, and greedy. You want to possess not just me, but everyone else as well. You know my feelings for you, yet you refuse to let me have you all to myself."
Ningguang pulled away from Qin Yu's embrace and gazed at her with a complex expression.
Caught in Ningguang's intense gaze, Qin Yu was momentarily at a loss for words.
"Greedy, cunning, stubborn... My disappointment in you is no lie."
Qin Yu's chest tightened.
But then Ningguang drew Qin Yu's face closer and kissed her lightly.
Evaluation: SSS-
Remaining just inches away, close enough to kiss again, Ningguang parted her lips slightly. "Yet I can't bear to let you go."
Hearing those words from Ningguang herself, Qin Yu's eyes widened in astonishment.
"In truth, I had planned to test my feelings for you today. If I could sever them, I would abandon you, cutting my losses as much as possible."
"But the moment I saw you again, I wanted to touch you, hear your voice, kiss you, be held by you, or hold you myself. I can't abandon you, yet I can't possess you entirely."
"All I can do is resort to this devious method to make you obey me, to yield to me."
Ningguang whispered, "To make you mine alone, even if just for this fleeting moment, Qin Yu."
Qin Yu lowered her gaze. Ningguang pressed her lips against hers again, and Qin Yu closed her eyes, responding fully without resistance. Through the kiss, she felt Ningguang's fervent, conflicted heart pour into her.
"I'm sorry, Qin Yu."
Still dazed from the afterglow, Qin Yu murmured, "Huh? What was that?"
"I said harsh things to you back then."
Qin Yu recalled Ningguang's words from before, her disappointment and doubt.
She couldn't honestly say she didn't care anymore, but she knew she had hurt Ningguang as well.
So she simply said, "We're even."
"Ningguang, your words hurt me, and my actions hurt you. So... we're even," Qin Yu whispered, leaning against Ningguang's shoulder.
Such things can't be resolved with a few words.
Nor can such feelings be so easily dismissed.
Even if the thorn in her heart were pulled out, the wound would still need time to heal. Qin Yu thought that all she could do now was apply the medicine, try to make her body forget the pain.
And this medicine, of course, came in only one form.
Qin Yu cupped Ningguang's face, their body temperatures merging in the next instant. The physical contact conveyed a warmth that allowed them to temporarily forget the earlier conversation.
Words alone couldn't ease the pain; only the other's warmth could soothe it.
"I also want to apologize to Ningguang for hurting you."
"Yes, you hurt me deeply. So, you'll listen to me, right?"
Qin Yu toyed with Ningguang's bangs, whispering, "That depends on what you want me to do..."
"You said you wouldn't leave me. Is that true?"
"It's true. I want to stay with you all, to stay together forever. I don't want to leave you, and I don't want you to leave me either," Qin Yu declared.
"So greedy."
Qin Yu lowered her head. "Mm, I know. But this is all I want."
Ningguang said softly, "All I want is you. But... I understand your feelings. I can't go against my own heart either; I can't bear to lose you. I'll compromise, I'll accept it. But I also hope you can do one thing for me."
Another request, Qin Yu thought. But I'll accept it. She nodded.
"What is it?"
Ningguang's hand slid to Qin Yu's chest. "Love me."
"Eh...?"
"You have a strong fondness for me, but you've admitted you don't know if your feelings for us are romantic. I want to turn that 'maybe' into a definite 'yes.'"
Ningguang's meaning was clear: she wanted Qin Yu to truly love her—in a romantic sense.
To become true lovers.
A romantic relationship... Qin Yu didn't want that kind of relationship. She desired something far beyond it, a bond that was intimate and unbreakable.
But she couldn't ignore Ningguang's wish.
Ningguang, sensing Qin Yu's thoughts, simply said, "Qin Yu, you need to understand that relationships between people ultimately depend on each other, on the individuals involved."
"The fact that you've leaped into deeper relationships with others doesn't mean we can immediately become like that."
"At least, I don't want that right now."
Qin Yu asked in surprise, "Why?"
Ningguang smiled gently. "Because I haven't had my fill yet. I haven't properly savored the sweetness of passionate love. Our relationship will one day blossom into the kind you desire, but until then, I want to take things one step at a time, savoring every moment without missing a single one."
Qin Yu understood Ningguang's meaning.
But passionate love... what exactly did it entail?
Constant displays of affection?
That seemed too demanding, at least if they had to maintain such intensity all the time. Qin Yu felt a little lost, but she wanted to fulfill Ningguang's desire.
After a moment's thought, Qin Yu asked, her cheeks flushed, "H-how do we do that?"
Ningguang's experience in these matters wasn't much greater than Qin Yu's; this was new territory for both of them.
But she knew what she craved.
Ningguang took Qin Yu's hand, their fingers interlacing. "Hold my hand like this, touch me, embrace me, kiss me, whisper your feelings in my ear..."
"And do it actively," she added.
Qin Yu asked, bewildered, "Take the initiative? Me?"
"Exactly," Ningguang murmured, leaning close to Qin Yu's ear. "Do you want me to love you more?"
Qin Yu's ears burned. Love me more?
That... sounds wonderful. She did want that. It would mean their relationship would become even closer, and she loved being treated that way.
So she stammered, "Yes, I do."
"Then you need to start by actively loving me."
Qin Yu looked confused. "Is... is that how it works?"
"Yes. If you want me to love you more, you have to express your love for me first."
Ningguang spoke softly, "I don't dislike seeing you blush, but for our relationship to deepen, we can't just keep passively accepting or actively giving. Love... works the same way."
Qin Yu couldn't shake the feeling that Ningguang was trying to seduce her.
But she couldn't deny that Ningguang's words made sense.
Should I be more proactive...? It wasn't that she had never taken the initiative before, but she tended to be more passive. The thought made her anxious all over again.
For someone with Qin Yu's personality, taking the initiative was always a challenge—unless she was in a specific state of mind. For example, when Ningguang explicitly handed her control.
But Ningguang wanted Qin Yu to naturally exhibit initiative in her daily life, and, crucially, to take the lead in carrying out Ningguang's instructions.
"I-I'll try," Qin Yu managed to say.
"Mm, don't be too nervous. Just do whatever comes naturally to you with me, just as I do with you. In time, you'll get used to it."
Get used to it again? Qin Yu pouted inwardly, but then thought: If I want to maintain this relationship with Shenhe and the others, I need to learn to be more proactive.
You can't expect to get what you want without putting in any effort.
As for what she wanted to do with Ningguang... Qin Yu's gaze naturally drifted to Ningguang's lips. Flushed and hesitant, she pressed her own lips against them.
"You really do love kissing, don't you?" Ningguang chuckled.
Qin Yu turned away, blushing. "I just couldn't think of anything else to do at the moment."
Ningguang whispered in her ear, "It's fine, I enjoy it too. Do it again. If you want to maintain this relationship, you'll have to love me more... love me even more..."
And when you're with others, I want you to only think of me, Ningguang thought to herself.
She couldn't completely possess Qin Yu, but she could try to adjust the allocation ratio.
After that, whenever the opportunity arose, Ningguang would continue her charm offensive.
However, her requests were mostly harmless, so Qin Yu didn't find them particularly annoying. She would simply grumble under her breath or voice a mild complaint.
When it was time to leave work in the evening, Qin Yu sighed.
"I'm so tired."
Ningguang, who was embracing Qin Yu from the front, casually remarked, "There wasn't much work today. How could you be so tired? Perhaps you didn't rest well? If so, you could stay overnight at the Jade Chamber."
"It's not because of work... don't you have any self-awareness?" Qin Yu tilted her head slightly, her tone mildly annoyed.
Instead of backing off, Ningguang leaned in closer, savoring the faint, refreshing scent emanating from Qin Yu's skin.
"Too close," Qin Yu murmured.
"This distance is perfect," Ningguang replied.
"I don't think so."
Ningguang whispered, "You can rest here if you're tired."
"I need to go home."
Qin Yu felt a growing sense of danger about staying. Ningguang was still pursuing a romantic relationship, and one that she insisted on being intensely passionate. If Qin Yu simply gave in to Ningguang's wishes and stayed, it might lead to even more intimate contact, truly crossing that line.
While such intimacy might be expected between lovers, and Qin Yu knew it was inevitable sooner or later, she couldn't simply ignore Ningguang's desires. Still, she preferred to postpone it—at least not today.
"Don't go home," Ningguang whispered.
"...I can only stay a little longer," Qin Yu reluctantly agreed.
Ningguang was satisfied with Qin Yu's response. She hadn't expected Qin Yu to agree to spend the night, even with their prior agreement. After all, Qin Yu already had her own place to return to. All Ningguang needed was this compromise—acceptance and tolerance of her whims.
Slender eyelashes, beautiful eyes... When Ningguang's gaze settled on her face, she couldn't help but leave her warmth on Qin Yu's skin, slow yet continuous, making the light in Qin Yu's eyes and her heart flutter.
If I want her to love me more, I have to take the initiative to love her first, Qin Yu thought, remembering Ningguang's words.
Take the initiative... Ningguang said I just need to do what I want to do to her.
What I want to do to Ningguang right now...
Following the voice that had blossomed in her heart, Qin Yu synchronized her breathing with Ningguang's.
This is what I want to do right now.