"Hū gǣþ hēo nū?"
"Hyre brēathung stæþollice is nū, and hēo gesēow swā hēo swā slæpende for ege. Cweðest þū þæt hēo awoc on āfǣrde, rihte?"
I lay still on the bed, eyes closed, hands resting at my sides, pretending to be fainted. Every muscle tensed, heart pounding in my ears. They hadn't tried to touch me or harm me yet, and the older voice, definitely a doctor, was inspecting me carefully, murmuring to other man in that language.
But something was more weirder now. I... could understand what they were sayiny. From the time I woke up again, I was able to understand them. And not just words but every nuance, every tone.
"When she wakes, please call me again. She must have been frightened."
"Yes, I will make sure to inform you."
"I shall take my leave now, Lord Kirill."
"I will see you escorted."
"Thank you. By the way, how are the Duke and Duchess? Have they heard the news?"
"I have not informed them yet. Considering her reaction, I believe it would be best to wait until she is calm and stable."
Their footsteps receded down. The door clicked shut behind them. I waited a few minutes, then carefully opened my eyes and pushed myself up.
What the hell…? How can I understand them now?
Every word, every subtle inflection… it was all clear. And there was more to it. I had strange and fractured memories, bleeding into my thoughts of someone named Meredia.
I lowered my gaze to my hands.....my hands. Those hands belonged to her.
My eyes fell on my right wrist. A scar ran along the inside, pale against the skin, faintly reddish-yellow at the edges where the healing hadn't fully settled. It traced a jagged line, about three inches long, like a slit, deep enough to have drawn blood heavily.
The skin around it was slightly raised and dry, the kind of mark that screamed of pain.
Meredia had tried to commit suicide. That much I knew now. It wasn't a clean knowing, more like fragments shoved into my head....images, sensations, words. Her parents had forced her into marriage with some noble she barely knew. On top of that, they'd dumped the weight of becoming a proper noble lady on her shoulders overnight. It crushed her.
She wasn't built for that. She was spoiled, adored, smothered in affection all her life. Her parents, her brothers, even the staff had loved her, protected her. And then suddenly, it all flipped. Expectations, rules, duty and there was no way out. so, she broke.
She slit her wrist.
I pressed my hand harder against the scar on my right arm, my stomach twisting. Her pain wasn't just a story now. it lived in my bones, my skin, my chest.
But… the memories didn't stop there. In the broken flashes she had woken up after the attempt. Her family was crying, apologising. They promised not to force her again. They swore she could marry the man she actually loved.
The man…
My brows furrowed. Who was he?
I tried to reach for the memory but it slipped through my fingers like water...just a blurred silhouette where a face or name should be.
I exhaled sharply, fingers trembling over the scar. Why can't I remember?
Was that the future I knew that she was supposed get married to the man she loved? A future that had shifted because she actually died… and I woke up in her body?
I let out a long, tired sigh. It was exhausting being trapped in a body that wasn't mine, in a world of swords, armor, and rules I didn't understand.
That man in metal armor… maybe… Kirill?
Kirill was Meredia's older brother by five years. He was something called a paladin of the kingdom. That explained the heavy armor and the sword strapped to his side.
And the other one I'd bumped into was Esther, her younger brother, just sixteen.
I stood up slowly. My knees were still shaky as I made my way toward the massive mirror. Even though it scared me, I needed to see her again.
Meredia.
Her reflection stared back at me.
Her skin was a creamy ivory, pale but not lifeless. There was warmth in it, like the soft yellow of fresh butter. Across her cheeks, though, that calm tone was broken by patchy redness. Not the kind that looked like blush. It was more of a permanent sunburn, a faint red web spread delicately over her skin.
Her hair fell in deep, wavy strands of red, rich and glossy like crushed rubies, tumbling over her shoulders like silk.
Her eyes looked unreal. They were the colour of molten gold...big and expressive that made her look both gentle and striking at the same times.
What a gorgeous girl she was.
I studied her face closely, tracing every detail....delicate yet full and pouty lips, forming a soft M-shape.
Then I looked down, suddenly aware of the weight of her body. She was built with deep, rolling curves. A waist that dipped softly before flaring into wide hips. Her arms were strong and soft at once. Her belly showed faintly beneath the gown.
The white gown fell to her knees.
Wow… she's… gorgeous.
It was absurd how graceful I felt in someone else's hody. But it was not some fairytale dream, it was a weird reality.
I swallowed hard, my hands hovering over my chest as if touching it could make me know her.
This wasn't just a body. This was Meredia's life, her burdens, her choices… and now it was mine.
"What if you were alive?" I asked, not her, but me. I had died too, in my world.
It came back like a punch. Lupus had killed me. The slow crawl of pain, the empty pill bottles, the silence of that small apartment that used to be my grandmother's.... all of that flashed into my memories. I had no friends and family. I only hear whispers about me in town.
On top of that, people saying I looked wrong and my parents had died because of me.
I never even got to know how.
And here I was. My life had been the complete opposite of Meredia's. I scraped by meanwhile she had everything. Her room alone was bigger than my entire home.
Was this… a second chance? Did God finally feel sorry for me?
Grandma always said everything happens for a reason. Maybe she wasn't wrong after all. Maybe I could… actually live this life and enjoy it.
I could die without regrets, without wishes left undone.
I let out a small scoff. "Who am I kidding?"
The truth sat heavy in my chest. No matter where I went, I'd always carry one regret that I never found Grandma.
It was okay. At least, that's what I kept telling myself.
Just keep breathing, convince the heart and pretend it's normal.
My eyes drifted back to those curtains. Those things had been shut since the moment I woke up. I padded over and tugged them apart.
Heavy curtains framed the doors behind me. Tall. Locked. The kind that made it clear this room was not meant for sneaking out. Beyond them waited a balcony that looked like it belonged in some overdramatic royal play.
Two chairs sat across a tiny table, dusted lightly with snow. Vines clung to the railing, stiff and pale from the cold, their flowers wilted but still hanging on in stubborn little clusters. I fumbled with the latch until it clicked, then pushed the doors open.
Cold air rushed in instantly, sharp and clean, stealing my breath. It smelled… crisp. Real. I stepped outside carefully, half-expecting someone to shout at me, like I was sneaking out of a stranger's house.
Snow stretched everywhere.
The sky was a hard, endless blue, the kind that made your eyes ache when you stared too long. Below, the gardens were buried in white, their shapes softened and half-lost, strange plants poking through like something out of a storybook. From this height, they looked unreal. Too perfect. Too arranged.
Beyond them, tall trees rose like frozen spires, their branches heavy with snow. Between them sat buildings. Or rooms. Or small houses? I couldn't tell. Everything curved inward, the palace walls looping around the grounds like a massive ring.
At the far edge near a gate, strange vehicles were lined up. Not cars. Not horses. Something in between. People moved through the snow, cloaked in dark, simple clothes, nothing like the jeans and hoodies I knew. They looked like they belonged here.
I gripped the icy railing, my fingers stinging.
Can I even go out there?
Would anyone let me?
A faint creak sounded behind me.
My body stiffened before my mind caught up.
The door. Someone opened the door.
I turned, heart slamming against my ribs, just as a warm, rushed voice filled the room. It trembled with joy and tears all at once.
"Eri… you woke up! My child!"
I froze.
A woman's voice. It cracked like she'd been holding it together by sheer will.
Another voice followed, deeper, controlled.
"Mother, she is resting. Do not press her so suddenly."
Kirill.
My legs went numb.
I scrambled back inside, pulse roaring in my ears. Would they be angry? Did they know? Did they feel it? That I wasn't her?
"Kirill, where is Eri? Esther said she has woken up."
"I… I do not know, Mother." His footsteps approached, steady and loud. Too close.
"She was here. She must have risen and gone out—"
He crossed the threshold and stopped.
His eyes found me. His shoulders dropped, relief flooding his face as he let out a long breath.
"Eri… there you are."
I opened my mouth. Nothing came out.
What do I say? How did Meredia talk?
Do I smile? Do I call him brother?
What if I mess up?
So I just stared.
He didn't look like Meredia. The winter light caught his skin, warm and bronze against the white of his shirt. He was taller, broad-shouldered. His jet black hair was styled in windswept look. His hair were medium length on top...thick layers swept back and slightly to one side and along the sides and back hair were trimmed shorte. A few stray locks gazing his forehead. His eyes were the colour of sapphiers with flecks of grey. He studied me seriously, like he was checking that I was real.
Behind him, she appeared.
She wore a flowing green gown with furred neck, rich and heavy against the cold. She had brown hair streaked with elegant silver. But her eyes were gold just like Meredia's.
She didn't hesitate.
She crossed the room and pulled me into her arms.
"Eri… my dear child. I am sorry. I am so terribly sorry. Forgive me. Forgive your mama." Her voice broke completely.
This was the Duchess Elowen, a woman who ruled her household with grace and steel, who could make grown men stand straighter with a single look.
She was strict but loving also, the kind who hugged and scolded in the same breath.
I buried my face into her neck.
Her perfume hit me instantly. It was somehow warm, familiar and comforting in a way I couldn't explain like something from another life.
My arms moved on their own, wrapping around her. She clung to me, sobbing softly, and for once… I wasn't scared.
The words slipped out before I could stop them.
"I am fine, mother."
Kirill froze.
Then he smiled.
Oh. So he does smile.
The Duchess finally pulled back, her face streaked with tears, her makeup ruined. Somehow, it made her look fragile.
"Mery," she whispered, voice shaking, "you may wed whomever you wish. You shall bear no duty your heart rejects. Only… never again, my child, do not do this to me again."
She held my hands, trembling, pressing kisses to them like they were sacred.
"I cannot lose you."
My throat tightened.
Great. I was going to cry too. Every time someone else cried, my body just folded.
I nodded.
"I am fine. I will not… do such a thing again."
"I believe you," she whispered.
Kirill stepped forward, his tall frame shielding her slightly as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
"Compose yourself, Mother," he said gently.
"She is here. She is safe. That is what matters."
She wiped at her eyes with her sleeve, smearing the last of her composure, still gripping my hands like I might vanish if she let go.
Then her expression changed.
Her golden eyes sharpened.
"Mery," she said softly, far too softly,
"do you understand the torment you placed upon this family? Kirill, esther, your father and myself. We waited, believing you lost to us."
Oh. Fantastic. Guilt trip unlocked.
Her hand cupped my cheek, thumb brushing beneath my eye like I was a tragic portrait.
"You are precious beyond measure. But you are a daughter of this house. You cannot cast your life away, not when so many are bound to you."
My mind screamed: wrong girl. She's gone. I'm not her.
My mouth betrayed me.
"Yes, mother."
Kirill sighed politely. "Mother speaks true. You frightened us deeply, Meredia. Do not let us endure such dread again."
Double team. Nice.
I lowered my head.
"Yes… it won't happen again."
Mostly because I don't even know what I did the first time. And they were venting out on wrong soul.