Season: Autumn
Weather: Cloudy
Day of the week: Monday
Date: 11th March, 2024
I'm finally back home with Stony Boss and the shameless boss. Shameless boss has barely let me leave his arms, checking me all over and kissing me. He's not pleased with some of the marks left on me by the dark shadow lord. Not pleased at all. He seemed angry. And so he left marks of his own over the top to cover them and I could only stare at the ceiling with speechlessness. He couldn't even hear Stony Boss trying to persuade him. The shameless boss was lost in a world of his own and Stony Boss gave up, leaving us alone.
I suppose, I don't mind now the deed is done. I guess I belong to the shameless boss now? Whatever reason he was angry with me for, he had finished venting now, right? It's all very unreal. To be together with the man who was once THE biggest boss of all. I'm not entirely sure why I let him either, and didn't ask Stony Boss to save me. Maybe because I felt it was about time to return some of the favours I was owing? Maybe I felt I deserved the punishment. How long would I be able to stay before he got tired of me and kicked me out? Like most men I knew, once they got what they wanted, they were going to kick me out of the house, weren't they? Was what just happened a good thing or a bad thing? I'm not sure. Still undecided.
At least he seems happy. Look at that smile on his sleeping face.
As for me, I may not be getting out of bed for the next two days. Don't ask me why. I'm just going to lay here and sleep as much as I can. Catch up on as much sleep as possible and then go back to work. Maybe by Wednesday, I can begin my Wednesday catering business.
I say I'm going to sleep for the next two days, but that's not going to happen. I'll be studying cooking and cleaning. Catching up on work emails so that I still know what is going on in the office. I'll be too busy catching up with normal life to sleep much.
Then I'll be saving up and looking for a new apartment. Somewhere safe where I can live on my own again. Somewhere not too expensive. Get myself out of the bosses' hairs before they get too sick and tired of me.
But somehow, I don't know if I'll succeed in moving out. I have a suspicious feeling that if I try to leave, one will block the door and the other will cry in order to make me feel guilty. I'm not hard hearted. A girl just has to be pratical. They're still bosses and I'm still just a lowly worker on the floor. After toying with me and playing with me for a while, they'll get tired of me. That's the way of the world. That's the way people have always been.
I'm nothing special. No one important. My background is a mess. My life is a mess. My mental state and health is a mess. I don't even know what I'm living for anymore. With the big mess that I am, who would want to love me and keep me for the rest of my life?
All I want is to live on my own, do my work and not be troubled by anyone or anything. If that really happened, it would be great. As long as I don't get pregnant.
He didn't use protection when we did it. No, I have to run to the pharmacy to get the pill. If I get pregnant, my life will no longer be my own. Can you imagine me being a mother? I can't. I wouldn't be able to care of a child properly. I can barely take care of myself. How would I care for a child?