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Chapter 327 - Chapter 323: Yogmang (Desires)

"Let me go." "Why should I?" "I…I am tired and I need more rest…" "Like you haven't already had a week's worth of rest already." "You are drunk, let me go and sleep it off. Actually, you need a bath as well. I will fill it up for you and…" "Are you going to undress me as well?" I was pushing the line that had existed between us every single chance that i got from the moment that we had to distance ourselves from each other once again since the accident since we had a lot of eyes on us. I was being deprived of my right to my own wife and it was fuelling my need for opium even more. I would never bring this up if I was sober, but I couldn't keep everything inside of me anymore, it was to much and I was going to self-destruct if I didn't at least talk about this with her now whilst I got the chance to do it. She had turned bright red at the comment and tried to ignore it, but I wasn't going to let her do that. I followed her to the bathtub and I just barely started to take off my robes before she noticed what I was doing. The fact that she chose to run instead of taking the initiative to stay wounded me a lot more than I thought it would. So I caught her by the arm again and I used her against a wall so she couldn't escape.

"Where do you think you're going now? You haven't even finished filling up the bathtub yet." "If you want to…undress then please do it…somewhere privately…" she was trembling nervously in my arms as I couldn't resist the urge to place my nose in the corner of her neck that was exposed and take a good whiff of the smell that I have missed so much. "Cherry blossom; it symbolises beauty, purity and rebirth, which you have most definitely gone through." "Excuse me?" "And good fortune as well. But peach blossoms represent happiness, honour, wealth and longevity." "What on earth are you talking about?" "But plum blossoms are the most beautiful blossom of all, and it suits you well; resilience and perseverance, because they bloom straight after the harshest of winters with the most vibrant colour. You were never too feminine, but the colour suits your pink lips quite well Yeonnie." "Please, just let me be!" "Not until you promise me that you will change your scent, just for me! Ok?" "I will do whatever you want me to, but please leave before someone see's us for god's sake!" "Say that again?" "Excuse me?" "The first half of that sentence, repeat it again? Now!" "I…I will do whatever you want. I will do whatever you want me to do…" "Please…please stop…" "why should I? Weren't you the one who was in love with me first? Aren't you the one who seduces me with your looks? Your charm? You are the one who goes out of her way to help me, so why…" "because it is too soon after the accident and not the right me at all! Please, I beg of you do not do this to me! Do not harm my reputation in the palace for a bit of fun…" "a bit of fun? Is that what this is to you? Just a bit of…are you serious!" "Let me go!" "No! I will not! You stay here and tell me, who am I to you exactly? Am I just some impassioned nobleman that goes for any woman he sees!"

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Never in my life have I heard The Lord Nam reach that level of anger in his voice, not even when his father did his worst to him. "You have someone else don't you! Go to her and just leave me alone! Please leave me alone!" I almost had to step in when I heard how badly Yeon was begging The Lord Nam, to the point where she was reduced to tears for the first time. And it seemed to shock The Lord Nam himself, who looked angry enough to rip anyone to pieces in that moment. "Yeon, are you…crying? For me?" "Please, please just…" "You cannot hide from me forever, and we will be married by the month's end, so why are you rejecting me now?" "Please, it is just for one night that i need a little rest and..." "You will come back to me. I…you…protect me and…" "do you remember the conversation we had? Before you dragged us both down into the accident that you The Concubine Chung and Mistress Nam were up to something? Why do you take such good care of me?" Because you do the same to me obviously…" "No I haven't. I have been rude to you, I have pushed you away and you just keep coming back. I put us both at a great distance from each other and you still did everything you could to get close to me. Why?" "Because I…" "Because you are in love with me."

In that moment, I felt my heart plummet to the ground, because I knew it to be true. Anyone who paid attention to the pair close enough could see that he tortured Yeon simply to find reasons to keep her by his side, and as for Yeon, she must be denying her feelings because of something that she had recently discovered that would further put him in danger, just like she always did. I always thought that the life of a servant was already hard enough, but what sort of love was this? Constantly having to protect each other instead of just enjoying each other's company for a single second. No matter how hard I tried to please her, to stay by her side, to make sure that nobody harmed her, to protect her from all harm, it was clear as day that she had the cold, bad-tempered and neglected Lord Nam deep in her heart, probably even before she knew it and no matter what he did to her. But i couldn't let this happen; for many of the new servants, Seo Yeon was the only form of protection that we had from the wrath of many noblemen just like The Lord Nam. She alone had improved out living conditions, she gave us extra money when she could and what little medical knowledge she possessed had helped most of the servants out and prevented their pay being reduced due to illnesses.

"…where did you get that idea from…" "Do not deny it, not after how you just kissed me back just now…" "Will you be quiet! I never….you forced me to! You held me and you…" "I never heard you say no once. In fact, I think that I heard you moa…" "You jerk! Let me go! I hope you have a happy time with your sister-in-law!" "That won't happen." "What do you mean?" "Just like how you have done everything in your power to keep Ae-Cha and her sister away from me, even from afar, I know that you will do the same with any other woman to comes in my way." "Why would I…" "Because you are in love with me. And you are jealous, although you are rather good at hiding it." "You are sill drunk and you have no idea what you are saying…"

"There is a reason why I haven't seen her around for a while now, right? Didn't she start taking credit for your work? So you would mess up her chores on purpose? And you put something in her perfume to maker her smell the way she did and why she had an allergic reaction later on? You have sorted out every single maid who has tried to approach me." "I…I didn't!" "Flapping your arms about won't cover this up. You had no problem with any of those women until they came too close to me. And in the very first outing that we have outside of the palace, I get hurt? On her account? You really are quite ruthless when you want to be, and that is why the plum blossom suits you."

"Let me go! I want to go to bed." "Ok, I will follow you there." "Seon-Ho!" "What?" "Stay here, bathe and go to sleep!" "Aren't you going to bathe me as well?" "You jerk!'" "Yeonna…" "The Lord Nam one just changed from mocking her to being dead serious, so much so that even I felt a chill travel down my spine. "You…should not excessively care for anyone unless you expect this to happen. You can only care for me like this, nobody else. Not a single soul, I mean it." His face was in her's again and this time could see him smirking at how much Yeon was trembling under him. "And…what if I do?" "I…will kill you." That statement alone stunned all of us into silence, most especially Yeon, who's face had turned as white as a blank sheet of paper, but the young master wasn't finished yet. "…and then I will kill myself to join you, no matter where you go." He managed to mutter before he almost threw himself at the poor girl and did something to her that almost made her scream until he finally let her go. The poor girl looked so utterly terrified that she didn't even recognise me as she ran straight past me and right into her quarters. And despite all of this, the young master still had his eyes on her until she was well out of sight. I wanted to comfort her more than anything, but The Lord Nam had already spotted me and called for me before I could hide.

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"My Lady, what is the matter with you? Why do you look so upset?" "There used to be a time where he would confide in me whenever he was upset like that. I aways knew that he was close to his fiancé, more than others, but not to the point where she would take over my role in his life. He clearly doesn't need me anymore; even women are prohibited from interfering in state affairs, but he will use her for that as well, i know he will. And it is not interference of he permits it, which he will. But if it displeases him, she will be considered to violate prohibition. He was sitting down the whole time and didn't even look at me once, his eyes were just glued to her the entire time. A I really so incompetent that I cannot gain anyone's favour at all? Or maybe I am not so incompetent, rather it is Seo Yeon that is too competent. Without her, i was exclusively in favour with everyone in the palace. But i cannot even stand level with her when she stands next to me; she must be regarded as fresh and young since she is childless, unlike myself. It has already been quite some time since anyone had called for me, what do I have to do to gain everyone's direct attention? She was able to advance herself every single day since loosing her memories, so how can I do the same thing? How can I be just like Seo Yeon?"

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