"It looks like The young Mistress Seo's butterflies have flown straight into your heart, Lord Nam." "I have no idea where those damned butterflies came from, it is just important that she gives her heart to me, that is all." "She is a stubborn character, how did you make her do it if i can ask?" "I chased her until she began to recognise no other man around her apart from myself. It was exhausting and i considered giving up a few times, but i already knew that i would regret it later on." She certainly touches your heart, even if you will not admit it to her." "I can untangle the complicated threads of state affairs, but once a smart woman focus on trivial matters, then that is even more difficult." "My Lord...?" "I still have no idea what she is up to in her private times, but there is no need to worry about anything anymore when she has me to protect her." "I suppose this is why other men simply adore dutiful women…" "That still does not guarantee love." "My Lord?" "That is the attitudes a wife must have under Confucius laws, but Yeon is different; she gives me everything i need whilst constantly challenging me to become bigger and better in my work and my goals than i ever had been in my entire life." "Maybe My Lord should keep up with the distance?a knot in one's heart cannot be untied in a single day." I tended to The Lord Nam as he made his way into the bath that Yeon had just filled up for him. Out of all of the servants in this entire household, I was the only one that he kept around. Despite his coldness, The Lord Nam most certainly had his way of making someone feel special once he paid attention to you. Only Seo Hwi could put a smile on The Lord Nam's face, only he could take him laugh spontaneously and only he provided a light in The Lord Nam's world, even if I was the one who had to do everything he said. But no matter how much he treasured Seo Hwi, he could never invite him to his home as the differences between the men's world were big enough to entrap them in their own classes. But his sister was different; it was like she had each foot of her's in both worlds. She was not only able to secure a place in his heart to tightly that he was unwilling to ever let her go. She even got away with being able to continue acting like a lowborn in his presence and still keep her head…she was truly unique…
"Dae-Jung? Where is your head at?" "Forgive me, My Lord." "Dae-Jung?" "Yes, My Lord?" "Why were you watching us the whole time? You were the one who scared her away." "My Lord?" "She was looking over my shoulder at you the entire time when I was the one that she was supposed to look at. How many years have I suppressed myself? And the one day I decide to feel brave…I didn't even get what I wanted." "Forgive me My Lord, but…yourself and the lady from the brothel…" "Yes, she is finally paying attention to me after all these years…" I kept waiting for him to tell me more after he had finally gotten what he wanted, but he didn't say anything else. Instead, he just kept touching and licking his lips where he forced Yeon to kiss him. "Dae-Jung, summon the new servant girl to me and tell her to bring me a big bowl of cherries with her." "Cherries, My Lord? You never really eat fruits…" "And tell her she has to serve me a bowl every 3 days in my office." "I…yes, My Lord." I really did not like the tone of his voice at all, it was starting to sound downright menacing and I had no idea how to react to it. Under the palace roof, he was always either sullen or angry, but even then he was retaining himself. But ever since Yeon's mod changed, he suddenly started expressing himself a lot more, and it was only to the young girl and nobody else.
To retrieve the new servant girl, I had to go all the way to the servants quarters where she was still unpacking her things. "The Lord Nam isn't going to wait for you all night long, you know! Who do you think you are?" I couldn't help but to snap at her as I tried to block out the memories of tonight that left me feeling conflicted for the very first time. But I was a helpless eunuch, with no power at all. "What on earth is the matter with you? Why are you so angry? Hey! Wait for me!" I was so preoccupied with my thoughts that I accidentally knocked over an entire dish in the kitchen and I was almost beaten to death by the kitchen maids if I didn't threaten to wake up Yeon to sort out the situation. The Lorn Nam on the other hand, was still acting out of his senses when he started smirking at her the moment that she walked in and she started to straighten herself out as if she wasn't right in front of hm where he could see her and start mocking her right to her face. His behaviour was so unlike him that I didn't know how to react, but none of us could oppose him either.
"My Lord…" "…set the cherries down on the table next to me, and let me have a good look at you." "My Lord?" "I have a gift for you in my robes that are hanging from the door over there…" "Thank you! Thank you, My Lord! This perfume looks very expensive indeed, I couldn't possibly…" "…and deliver it to Yeon for me. Now."
That most certainly wiped the smile off of her face as she kept looking at him as if she didn't hear his command correctly. "Well? What are you waiting for?" "I…My Lord, you have bought the most expensive perfume in the entire market to give to somebody else...?" "be very careful with your words Chun-Ae, for they may very well be your last."
He didn't even look at her as she silently shed tears and threw a tantrum out of his sight, but he could still hear her pathetic cries. "Why? Why! Why her? After everything that she has done, after all the trouble that she has caused…how is she any better than me! When I am the one that has been serving you all this time!" "Why not her? What on earth makes you think that you are any better than her? You are a slave and she is a free woman…" "I have served you my entire life! I have worked hard for you! I…" "I, I , I. Me, me ,me. You, Ae-cha and her sister, The Lady Min and even Hui-Jae, …you all want something from me, all of the time! Only Yeon takes care of me without expecting anything in return! Dae-Jung! Dress me for bed and as for you, if you haven't gone over to Yeon's quarters in 10 minutes, I will have you whipped to death." "For what?" "For being the Mistress Nam's new spy! How else was she capable of messing with the horse at the Chung Residence where you served also? You almost took my wife's life and I will do the same thing to you! Now go on and do not make me repeat myself! I will send her gifts every single hour for the entire night until 7am in the morning."
My blood was beginning to boil with every seance he was uttering. He knew that Yeon liked to sleep in until late and he always gave in to her. So why did he want to mess with her in this way? Why? Why couldn't he just leave her alone for a single night?
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I had survived poverty, I had been through the humiliation and loneliness of being an orphan and even right now I was barely hanging on without my brother. There really wasn't much in this world that scared me anymore, even if I did have to pretend. But the man that was to be mi husband terrified me sometimes with his new heavier that could be downright forceful at times. And he always so focused on me every single tome that he got to be that way, but why? Did he suspect something of me? Had i done smelling so upset him? He refused to have a conversation with me ever since the accident, but he still wanted me to fulfil his needs? So why couldn't he just leave me be? Why was he rubbing it in his face so badly? What sort of new torture was this now? Was this my fault? Did I make a mistake? Did I take care of him too well? And why, why did he kiss me in front of a room full of servants? Why did he actually pick me up and…why? After the experience that he went through with mother, I thought that he would never take in any concubines at all. Is that how he saw me? As a concubine? Was that his intention? Good gold almighty, what did I find myself as a part of? My heart was still racing almost out of my chest and I collapsed onto the floor as soon as I reached my quarters. I had some time to think and clear my head but I still had no answers to my questions at all, and I probably wouldn't have for a while. But what I couldn't move past from was the fact that he was playing with my emotions when he was upset and he knew how I felt about him. Having feelings for him when he was using my brother was already twisted enough and that was a separate torture that I had to go through on my own. But what he was doing was too much and it was wrong; I did have some string feelings towards him but I was not going to let him do this to me. It was evident that I had indulged this man far too much, and that was not going to happen anymore.
"Aren't you the one who seduces me with your looks?" That absolute jerk…the one and only time I got the chance to express my femininity and this is the conclusion that he comes up with? That it was for him? And not myself? Very well, if he was going so far as to accuse me of being some sort of vixen, then I was going to throw every noble thing he gave me. It wasn't like I asked for it anyways! I told him I would be fine to continue dressing in my rags, and even then, he got angry about that? What right did he have?
I was in the midst of gathering everything that I wanted to throw away when the door suddenly opened behind me. Someone tell me why that even in the midst of my anger, I was still hoping that he would walk though my door and hold me until he made me surrender to him. I was already hiding so many secrets and going through so many emotions on a daily basis that I really had no idea how Seon-Ho was so good at hiding his true nature, which is what I am convinced is what I witnessed tonight. But I couldn't be more disappointed and then shocked when I saw a crying but familiar making her way towards me and she started just taking all of my makeup and she dumped something in it's place.
"What happened? Why are you crying?" "Why do you care?" "Did Seon-ho do something to you?" "How dare you…how can you just address him by his name like that?" "I have done it for years and he never has had an issue with it." "Just take what he has given you and leave me be! Leave him be! Leave us be! Go back to where you came from and leave the palace!" "Do you think I want to be here either!" "You are a disabled lowborn with no parents. The very best chance you have is with the Lord Nam that i used to serve under his father's roof! That is why you seduce him the way you do!" I had no idea what Seon-Ho had done to her, but she was completely shaken and was crying so much that it did manage to make me feel bad enough to gift her everything that I threw away. I even forced everything in her hands, not knowing that it would be her death sentence. I only found out the next day that Seon-Ho was truly so enraged when he saw what was in her hands that he actually had her beaten to death.