One morning, Bruce woke up and thought, I will not be happy today, as he walked out of his tiny house with a hunched back and rude finger pointing at any overly happy dog owners walking in his neighborhood.
It was bright and sunny with the sun beaming into Bruce's eyes, oh no, I have a migraine," he thought as he huffed back into his tiny house grunting combinations of swear words that should not have been put together. Well, this just sucks, doesn't it?I still need to get to school. Bruce thought grumpily as he inhaled Panadol through his nostrils and stomped away to the bus stop. What just happened, he thought, right before his eyes he saw his bus crash. "YAY, NO SCHOOL FOR ME!?" Then suddenly another bus approached his bus stop. Unfortunately for Bruce the bus that crashed was not his big yellow banana bus, so he still had to go to school.
When Bruce got to school, his mentally ill friends watched him walk into school from the top of a building where no teacher could get to them and they would chant his name, slowly getting louder, like an evil cult, because they were an evil cult that worshiped the BANANA gods. Bruce saw them on the roof and just looked down and sighed before picking up his pace and trying to get somewhere safe from them. Bruces' emo friends jumped off the roof and landed in his arms. Then they rizzed each other up. Bruce complains to them about how annoying they were being and left. Bruce's friends were now used to this reaction, so they continued the rizzed fest. Out of nowhere, Uncle Roger appears scaring the hell out of everyone, but Bruce keeps walking, ignoring the opportunity Bruce had to learn how to cook the perfect fried rice.
When Bruce got to his classroom, the teacher said to him, "You are a late one, now the good job is not quite the bad inn tells me. Jajajaja!" in a confusing tone that didn't make sense and made her sound like she was on big yellow bananananana drugs (which she was). The teacher started to randomly laugh with chuckles of evilness!! This teacher had some serious problems, she started to say inappropriate things even for emotional grade tens. In fact, one of Bruce's peers just got up and left the room without a question. Although the closest thing to a question was whether anyone will learn anything today. But of course, they aren't learning anything.
"We are illegally leaving the school grounds today!" The teacher dramatically screeched the teacher into poor Thomas' ear.
Bruce then explained how the school rules don't apply to him as he was born in China but got his real name (Jian) changed to Bruce when he moved to Australia, but you might be thinking no Bruce is as white as clouds, there's no way he's Chinese! That's because he bleached his skin. Thomas replied to the teacher – already insane with years of people screeching into his ear – with, "Instrumental jingle, jajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajaja!"
"I didn't know you were Spanish, Thomas!! Eadsjfgleskfgjasehfaegfajfhnajefh!!!" The teacher – sounding drunk – replied to Thomas' way of letting out years of insanity.
After a couple of minutes of the teacher yelling, then Thomas yelling, then the teacher yelling, and so on, the teacher kicked Thomas in the face, told everyone to follow her, then sprinted to the bus stop and started encouraging the bus driver to leave without the students. Eventually, the bus driver did leave without the students, but luckily another teacher with a very large car pulled up at the bus stop. The students ran up to the car, threw the teacher out of the car, then stole the vehicle and drove after the drunk teacher to get her back. Uncle Roger jumped in the driver's seat because none of the twenty-eight grade tens in the car could drive yet. The words still managed to get out of Uncle Rogers's mouth "Fuyo! All right little nephews, buckle up because -."
"Look, a bird!" Some random people from inside the large car yelled as a large bird that looked suspiciously like one of Bruce's friends flew into the one open door of the car. "Abcde!?" Bruce said in shock that his mentally scarred friends managed to follow him. "The others will be here soon," Abcde told in a confusing tone with weird differentiation in his pitch. Then Abcde proclaimed in Russian "Я ненавижу тебя, ненавижу меня, давай выйдем и убьем тебя, йипи." Bruce then replied, "Then I saw your face, and I am a believer! If you haven't guessed by now, I LOVE Shrek and the Shrek movies." then Bruce thought to himself "Onions have layers, Ogres have layers," and a random ten-year-old girl came out of nowhere and said, "Bananas have Layers?" and started crying little onions. Suddenly, just as the ten-year-old girl appeared Bruce was hit by a truck "Bye-bye!" The girl said and walked off into the shadows. "Whooo hooo, he dead," the mafia boss says.
Bruce woke up in the hospital where a lady named Mrs. Bubble, and Bruce said "Bananananananananananananananananananana I LOVE BANANAS! They are big, curved, and yellow and are better than apples!" and fell asleep dreaming about bananas of all coloursThough when he woke up, the lady said "You just had a little bit of the BIBBITY BOBBITY BOO magic. And five days later he was released back into the open world, where he could wreak havoc on Hong Kong. A few months went and one day onions and bananas started falling from the sky. Then Bruce yelled nananananananananananananananananaannananananannananananananananannanananananananananananananananananannananannananannanananananannanananananananananananananananananananananananananananaanananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananaanananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananaanananananananananaananananaanananananananananaananananananananananananananananananannan"banananananananananananananannananananananananananananananananananananananananana, banana and, bannananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananaanananananananananananananaanannananananananananananananananannaananananananananananananananananananananananana. THE BANANA GODS ARE HERE! Bananananananananananananananananananananananannananananananananananananananananananananaanananananananananananananananananananananananannananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananaananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananannanananananananananananananananaananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananannananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananannananananaananananananananaanananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananaanaananananaanananananananansanananananananananaananananaanananananananananananaananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananaananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananannananananananananaananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananaananananananananananananananananannanananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananannanananaanananananananananananananananananananananaananaananananananan!" Then everyone started screaming, "banananananananananananananannananananananananananananananananananannanananananananananananananananananananaannananananannananananananananannananannananananananananananananananannananannananannanananananannananananananananananananaaanananananananananananananannanannannanananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananaanananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananaanananananananananaananananaanananananananananaananananananananananananananananananannananananana,banananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananannananananananananananananananannaananananananananananananananananananananananana THE BANANA GODS ARE HERE! Bananananananananananannnsnanananananananananananannananananananananananananananananananananaanananananananananananananananananananananananannananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananaananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananannanananananananananananananananaananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananannananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananannananananaananananananananaanananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananaanaananananaanananananananansanananananananananaananananaanananananananananananaananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananaananananananananananananaananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananannananananananananaananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananaananananananananananananananananannanananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananannanananaanananananananananananananananananananananaananaananananananan Banana THE BANANA GODS ARE HERE! Then suddenly, a schoolboy walking home got hit by a banana and the boy exploded into glitter, and it was PINK glitter. Then everyone screamed and started looking for cover, though more and more people kept getting hit by bananas and onions and exploding into glitter. Pink glitter!