Northerly sat up. He was up against his door.
He pulled his ears down flat; everything was so loud.
Pins and needles plagued his whole body as he tried to move.
It took a few agonising minutes for the feeling to subside.
Deep breaths.
In
Out
In
Out
It was all under control.
Inhaling sharply, he stood and wiped the tears from his eyes. He didn't remember crying, probably a side effect of whatever just happened.
The afternoon had turned to evening. Then he remembered, City and Jordan!
Running off like that probably ruined their outing. He had to find a way to apologise.
An in-person apology would probably be the most effective. Hopefully, they would still speak to him after this.
He ran his fingers through his tail, before stepping out into the dorm's common room.
"Pony-Chan!" Kiseki rushed towards him from the centre of the common room.
He tried to brush her off, but he was cut off abruptly.
"City and Jordan said you ran back here in a panic. When we couldn't liberate you from your room, they decided to leave you be. I'll need to call them in a minute, but are you sure you're alright?" She spoke quite similarly to Northerly's mother when he would hurt himself.
He had noticed she had a distinct personality difference when she was performing her doom leader duties.
"I am fine, I just agreed to something I probably should not have. I need to apologise" He didn't need her knowing about how badly it truly affected him. hopefully he could just apologise, and things could go back to how they were before.
Kiseki called Jordan and City, who both returned quickly.
"North!" City approached him
"You had us worried, you didn't tell us you were afraid of onsens." City sounded more concerned than angry, which was unexpected.
"It totally killed our vibe seein you freak out like that. Why didn't you fess up?" Jordan sounded a little angrier, but just like City seemed to be concerned.
"I am so very sorry. I did not mean to run away; I had never used a public bath and thought I would be able to get over that today. I did not mean to ruin your outing." He performed a deep bow. He had only half lied about why he ran away. Hopefully, none of them could tell.
"I'll leave you ponies to make up, alright." Kiseki stepped away, leaving Northerly alone with his classmates.
"You seemed kind of stressed out the whole trip; I didn't mean to bring you somewhere you weren't comfortable. "City sounded genuinely remorseful despite it not being her fault.
"You could tell?" Northerly was unaware that it was that obvious.
"Couse we could, your ears were all twitchy, and your tail was close to you the whole time. You had mad stressed vibes!" Jordan was someone Northerly didn't expect to be as observant as City, but if even she noticed that was bad.
"You've looked kind of stressed since we met you. We thought maybe the day trip would help, but I guess not." City lamented.
Had his anxiety really been that noticeable? He took a deep breath; he mustn't have been strong enough to hold his feelings down properly.
"I wanted to do something normal for once. It has been very hard keeping up with everything here in Japan. I never got to do much of anything back home. But I did not expect it to be this difficult." He opened up a little to both of them.
His words are an honest lie. He had had trouble adjusting to Japan, but in reality, it was the hiding that was taking its toll on him.
"We had no idea North..." City was stunned by his confession. Jordan said nothing at all.
"I am sorry," he ran his hand through his tail.
They had really tried to help him.
"It was still a nice day out. I would like to do it again one day." He tried to cheer them up a little. This wasn't how he envisioned this conversation going.
"Maybe once you have debuted, then you'll be more comfortable with the crowds?" City suggested. Her tail swished uncomfortably.
"That sounds good." Jordan had lost her energy. He felt bad for upsetting her.
"I will try to be ready." He tried to smile, but his scarf was in the way.
With that, they went their separate ways.
He had assumed they'd be mad, but he could hear them as he walked away. They sounded more confused and worried rather than angry. Northerly wasn't sure if that was better or worse.
He didn't get much sleep that night, spending it brushing his tail over and over again.
It had been around a week since his outing with City and Jordan, and he had been avoiding everyone except Hishiama and Ryan. He had been sure to put extra care into containing his emotions.
Today, he found himself up on Tracen's roof. A convenient spot where he could remove his scarf and eat without anyone noticing him. Except today, that was not the case.
His ears flicked behind him, catching the sound of the rooftop access door just as it began to open. In a panic, he threw his scarf back o,n knocking his lunch onto the ground in the process.
He turned to find a pink-haired Uma staring back at him.
Digitan.
Over his time in Rito dorm, he had come to know her a little. She absolutely adored Umamusume and would fangirl over them when they weren't looking. She tended to be quite kind in person, and that was enough for most of them to accept her quirkiness.
He didn't like her all that much, not because of her personality. If anything, they were quite similar. The problem was she loved to know everything there was to know about Uma's, and unfortunately for her, there was very little anywhere about Northerly.
"What are you doing up here all on your own?" Digitan asked as she approached him.
"I was eating lunch." Northerly was disappointedly collecting the pieces of his lunch off the ground.
"You can't eat lunch with me here?" She sounded a little upset.
"It's alright, I just finished." He had not
Digitan produced a bottle of chocolate milk from a little bag and held it out to him.
"I thought you might like this; I just wanted to ask you a few things."
Northerly did like chocolate milk; he cautiously took it from her.
"What exactly do you want to know?" He didn't want to answer many questions, so he began slowly making his way towards the door.
"What did you do before Tracen?" She enthusiastically pulled out her phone.
"Worked." He replied.
"Do you like Tracen?" she asked.
"Yes."
"Do you like chocolate milk?"
"Yes."
"Can you drink it now?"
"No."
"I knew it!" she exclaimed excitedly as she typed away on her phone.
Northerly froze. What did she know?
"I had wondered about you. I told you before that I love and support Umamusume, but I couldn't find any way to support you properly." That was true. Digitan is an Umamusume superfan just like him, only she's more open about it.
"I searched for you online. I couldn't find anyone who had heard of you before Tracen. No race record or any record of anything. But then I noticed, your Umastagram was my first proper clue." She was practically bursting with excitement.
"Then I asked around, and sure enough, I was right. No one has ever seen your face! You train and do classes all with your scarf on." That was NOT good.
"I wanted to find you to test my theory, and I was right. You can't drink the milk without removing your scarf!" She was too smart.
"But why? It's very strange, El wears a mask too, but she isn't like you. I'm not the only one who's noticed." She was certainly not making this any easier.
He had seen people glance at his scarf, but not once had anyone questioned him about it.
"Do you really want to know?" He stopped heading towards the stairs. He hoped if he said something, she would leave him alone.
She nodded several times.
"I do not know how to fit in with Umamusume. But with my scarf, I can hide while still talking and being around them." He was not lying. The scarf did exactly that, but what she didn't need to know was the reason he had to hide.
She threw her hands onto her head.
"Woah that is a really sad answer! Don't worry, Northerly, I'll always be here to support you. You're an Umamusume after all, you can fit in just as well as any of us!" She suddenly shifted from her detective-like speech to her more common fangirling.
It looks like that would be a good enough explanation for Digitan. It wasn't something he had prepared for, but ultimately it was nice to hear someone say he could fit in.
After the week he had had, that made him feel much better.