Although panicking just moments before, he now sat on the front porch of his farmstead back home.
The red dirt stretched as far as his eyes could see, and the summer sun burned the ground just outside of the shade he sat in.
He looked around, eventually noticing his nails.
They were colourful. And the thought he was happy?
The door behind him creaked, and his father's footsteps ventured towards him.
He groaned loudly as he sat down next to Northerly.
"Your mother is teaching you girly things again." His father sounded a little disappointed, but, despite this being a semi-regular occurrence, Northerly felt as though he hadn't seen him in a long time.
"I needa know if I'm goin to Tracen. How am I supposed to fit in with the ladies?" He joked.
"I know what you want to do, but until then, this is gona make workin hard." It was always a practical reason as to why Northerly shouldn't be doing ladylike things.
"I'm 'n Umamusume, aren't I? Shouldn't I be able to do girly things?" He was, as usual, a little defensive.
"You are also a man. Men work hard to look after the people around them and themselves. You can do whatever girly things your mother wants to teach you, but try to avoid doing anything that would stop you from working hard." His father was always against certain practices, such as Northerly wearing girly clothes or acting more feminine.
"What are the nails gona do? He still didn't quite understand.
"What happens when you break one? That would upset'chya right? You can't work your hardest when you're in a foul mood." It wasn't anything he had against Northerly acting like an Umamusume instead; it was usually a practical reason.
"You're probably right," he said, sadly eyeing his nails.
"You know I'm right." His father then stood and gave him a couple of slaps on the back before returning indoors.
Northerly understood how this advice was supposed to make him feel. His father didn't denounce the fact that he was an Uma; he was happy to have that kind of help.
But Northerly struggled to see himself as one or the other. He couldn't really comprehend how to be both at once.
The sun had almost set as he once again sat alone on the porch, the words of his father, while misunderstood, were appreciated.
He curled his tail onto his knees and ran his fingers through it.
Letting fresh nails glide through soft hair felt so relieving. So, calming.
He had never really encountered a situation where he might need to calm down quickly. But, his mother, despite her positivity about how others would see him, still made an effort to teach strategies to cope with uncomfortable feelings.
Honestly, he had been having these uncomfortable feelings more often recently. His father was trying to prepare the farm for when Northerly was scheduled to move to Tracen.
He was simultaneously trying his best to teach him how to be a proper man.
Life had become so much more stressful knowing that shortly he would find himself face to face with the Uma's he had admired his whole life.
Yet despite them being what he saw on TV. How would they see him?
His mother made sure no one knew about him despite insisting that people wouldn't see any difference.
However, he vividly remembered the first Uma he had cared about, who retired very early into her career because of public opinion.
It had really stuck with him, but until now, he hadn't realised how much.
He wanted so desperately for the world to see him for his racing prowess. But it was so very unlikely that they would look past his condition.
Holding it together had become a challenge sometimes.
He learned to push his problematic emotions deep down; if he couldn't feel them, then he wouldn't be bothered by them.
It wasn't often he'd fret over these things.
'Such is life' as his father would say.
But today...
The sun, beautiful luminescent sun. slid below the horizon.
The orange sky and red dirt.
His home.
It all began to blur as tears filled his eyes.