The young man strolled unhurriedly along the road to Training Ground 7. His hair shimmered silver in the sun. One eye hid under a Konoha forehead protector, the other blissfully squinted at the sun. Despite the jonin's good mood, he looked slightly rumpled. No bandages on his body anymore, but he held a cane in hand, occasionally leaning on it while walking. Not that he really needed it, nor did he have leg injuries; just, if there's a chance to delay meeting his future team, why not simulate a bit of a "wounded after dangerous mission" shinobi?
Like many other operatives, Kakashi often escaped the hospital long before discharge. But this time, the Copy Ninja got thoroughly thrashed by some unknown bald guy.
"Amazing. One slap—and I'm out," he thought. "Good thing I reinforced the expected strike spot with chakra. Hm, but it still didn't help..."
Yeah, nothing helped. Neither Sharingan, nor instincts that saved him countless times, nor battle experience. He erred by over-relying on genjutsu. Illusions proved useless against that strange shinobi named Saitama. Chidori only singed his shirt, leaving the body unscathed. Kakashi thought he'd bought time for his former comrades to prepare the barrier and that they'd nab the intruder. But imagine his surprise when, days later, he learned that despite all ANBU efforts, this Saitama broke the barrier with one single jutsu and repelled his opponents. Moreover, forced the Hokage to escort him to the village for a talk.
"Mm-mm, that guy's a monster," Kakashi muttered. "Wouldn't want to clash with him in battle again..."
The jonin reached Training Ground 7, where he'd scheduled the meeting with his charges. Two days had passed since leaving the hospital, and today Hatake decided to set the "exam" for Team 7. He'd warned the fresh graduates ahead via shadow clones, as coming for each personally was outright lazy.
Training Ground 7, assigned to his new team, was an excellent training area for developing basic skills needed by young shinobi. Like many other "genin" grounds, it had a relatively small forest with large trees (for tree-walking practice), a narrow stream (for water-walking practice), and a spacious area for sparring, technique practice, tactical maneuvers, etc. In fact, multiple genin teams could train on such grounds simultaneously, but they rarely did, preferring to drill shinobi larvae in threes until the Chunin Exams.
Kakashi inhaled the warm air, smelling light grass and tree giant foliage. Perfect weather today. Not a cloud in the sky. Birds singing. Idyll. Right now he'd love to bolt to some beach and hole up with a Jiraiya book. But no. Duty calls.
"Well, rested up, time to play babysitter..." flashed through his head, after which he, tapping his cane jauntily on the ground, headed toward the brunette and pink-haired kunoichi by the wooden posts.
"Hey, everyone!" the man declared cheerfully.
"You're late!" Sakura yelled, snapping from her thoughts.
The little Uchiha barely reacted to the jonin's arrival. Just snorted quietly.
"Now, now, Sakura, I'm still not fully recovered after a dangerous mission. Just got out of the hospital," Kakashi said, head hung low. They weren't spreading much about the forest incident over a week ago. Official story: the Copy Ninja returned from an S-rank dangerous mission where he clashed with several rogue ninja. But all ANBU was buzzing that Kakashi, like the rest of the strike team, got wrecked by some bald shinobi.
The girl's gaze dropped to the cane. Sympathy flickered on her face for a moment. But looking again at their mentor's "smiling eye," she realized the man was probably mocking or inventing a utterly dumb excuse for his tardiness.
"You're six hours late!" Sakura kept fuming. "Couldn't you leave earlier?!"
"Mm-mm... Well, there's a reason," he tilted his head. "See, a black cat crossed my path, and with the cane, I had to go way around."
"R-r-r-r..." escaped the little kunoichi.
Kakashi cleared his throat and was about to start talking but noticed someone missing.
"Ahem... And where's the blond?"
Sakura sighed, arms crossed over her chest, then said:
"Naruto said you'd probably be late and went to train. First time that idiot was right."
"Hm?" Hatake raised a brow. To his surprise, a first. Usually he arrived dead last. Moreover, highly curious how the little Uzumaki knew about his "punctuality."
Not that Kakashi was a chronic latecomer. No, when needed, he could arrive early: serious missions, jonin council meetings on truly important matters, "carpet" to the Hokage. No, not some illness. Much simpler. Hatake just didn't see the point in showing up on time without motivation or solid reasons.
Still, here it was less whim, more lesson for the genin. Pinch their nerves a bit, unsettle them, try sowing team discord and see what happens.
Previous Academy grads unlucky enough to get him as sensei flunked immediately. And the issue wasn't inability to team up or betrayal potential. Far from it. He got kids from different classes, total strangers. Teamwork's impossible without knowing allies' capabilities. And with days (or less) to gel, no teamwork possible. Strong friendship or camaraderie—even less. Such bonds don't form that fast. Add psychological pressure and tricks, and the result's predictable.
Many thought Hatake strict due to his past. Losses. Didn't want responsibility or losing anyone again. Some figured he was just too demanding from his worldview prioritizing mutual aid and camaraderie. Maybe partly true. But the main reason Kakashi never became a full sensei was plain laziness. Who wants to mentor brats? Especially untalented ones? He was Chunin at six, jonin by their age...
"Oh, you finally showed, one-eyed sensei?"
Kakashi turned toward the voice. Finally, the third member of Team 7.
Naruto emerged from the forest unhurriedly.
The blond's skin was tanned, hair a bit lighter than usual, knuckles scraped.
"Naruto-baka, how dare you call Kakashi-sensei that?" Sakura fumed. "And where've you been?!"
"Hey-hey, Sakura-chan," the blond started justifying, "I was training nearby and kept an eye on you guys, so I'm not late..."
*Ahem-ahem,* Kakashi interrupted. "I think, now that everyone's here, we can start. So, the test..."
"Wait, sensei," Naruto raised a hand, showing respect. "You're supposed to be our teacher, but we know zilch about you. When I got home, I only saw your note on my bed. And since we're gathered, maybe introduce yourself?"
Hatake eyed the trio. Seeing their interest, he couldn't deny their curiosity. Nodding to himself, he sat on the grass and beckoned the genin invitingly. They plopped down attentively, ready to hear their teacher's words.
"Hm... Well, my name's Hatake Kakashi. Jonin..."
Silence fell over Training Ground 7. The kids perked ears hoping for something cool about their new teacher. But the pause dragged, and the shinobi wasn't continuing.
"And," Naruto couldn't hold it. "That's it? What about, y'know... dreams, hobbies, likes, dislikes?.."
Kakashi gazed skyward at faint cirrus clouds.
"Dreams? Hm-m..." the jonin mused, scratching his chin through the mask. "Dunno. Hobbies... Yeah, plenty. But likes and dislikes, I won't tell you," he ended abruptly.
A light breeze rustled the grass, and the ground fell silent again.
"So all we learned is his name and rank..." Sakura grumbled.
"Fine," Kakashi said. "Your turn. You first." He nodded at the little Uzumaki.
Naruto grinned wide, adjusting his hitai-ate. The forehead protector was sewn on one side, like it'd been sliced before. Kakashi mentally scolded the boy for sloppiness. "A shinobi's hitai-ate is pride. Where'd he manage to ruin the protector?" flashed through Hatake's mind.
"I'm Uzumaki Naruto," the blond began. "I love ramen most in the world. Hate when after training my whole body aches and I lack strength to reach bed. And my dream..."
The genin paused, frowning. Before, his dream was becoming Hokage, earning respect, universal recognition, becoming great... But since meeting Master, much changed...
"I got no dream," Sakura and Kakashi stared puzzled. Sasuke just glanced sideways.
"But I got a goal I'll definitely reach," Uzumaki beamed. "I'll become the coolest Hokage in history and strongest shinobi in the world! That's my ninja way, dattebayo!"
The little brunette snorted quietly at that. Sakura irritably clicked her tongue but stayed silent. They'd heard such declarations before. And didn't take them seriously.
"Hm, interesting," Kakashi murmured barely audibly. His visible face showed nothing. But the skeptical eye-glint showed the blond's speech didn't impress the jonin, and he turned to the pink-haired kunoichi. "What about you?"
"I'm Haruno Sakura," the girl said. "What I love?.. Or rather, who?.."
Her gaze flew to her crush object. Cheeks pinkened, and a horde of fantasies with a certain brunette starring probably raced through her head.
"My dreams..." the kunoichi continued, blushing harder and glancing at the sullen Uchiha.
"All clear," Kakashi summed up. This girl's head full of boys.
"Unlikely anything'll come of her. Though, maybe normal at her age..." flashed through Hatake.
"Well, and what don't you like?" the jonin asked pro forma.
"Naruto!" the girl stated categorically.
Uzumaki drooped sadly, and the jonin just nodded.
"Well, you're last," Kakashi turned to the last Uchiha.
The boy seemed shrouded in gloom aura. Black eyes glowered from under his bangs. To Hatake, the look seemed somewhat silly, but recalling the boy's ordeals, he brushed off stray thoughts. Maybe this one had sensible goals.
"I'm Uchiha Sasuke. Lots I don't like, but nothing I like. Hardly a dream, but..." the boy's gaze dropped, one fist clenched. "I must revive my clan... And kill a certain man."
"Mm, about what I figured..." Hatake sighed dejectedly.
Awkward silence hung after the Uchiha's words. Sakura stared puzzled at her beloved, who ignored her utterly.
"Fine, think that's enough," Kakashi rose slowly. The genin followed suit. "Now awaits a test deciding your shinobi path ahead."
"Kakashi-sensei," Sakura interrupted, snapping from thoughts. "In the handout, you said survival training. But we had plenty in the Academy. Why all this?"
Hatake crossed arms over chest.
"You haven't eaten?" the jonin asked, as if not hearing the little kunoichi's question.
Angry glares from Sasuke and Sakura answered, plus belly rumbles. Naruto stayed low-key then, as he'd skimmed the handout, latching only on key—time, day of test, and be armed. So he'd eaten hearty that morning. Though memories of juicy rabbit waiting home in the fridge made saliva pool involuntarily, forcing swallows, and his insatiable gut growled demandingly, echoing teammates' stomachs.
"Wonderful," the shinobi smirked under mask. "Won't puke then. As for training, Sakura, I misspoke. It's an incredibly tough aptitude test with 66% failure. Of twenty-seven Academy grads, only nine become full genin. Rest go back."
Sakura paled at those words, gulped nervously, then eyed Uchiha fearfully. Sasuke just scowled harder, and Naruto grinned.
The blond's reaction struck Hatake odd, but he ignored it.
"Anyway, we've dawdled," Kakashi said, pulling out an alarm clock. "So. I set it for noon. Your task is as follows..."
He placed the alarm on one wooden post.
"Here, two bells," the shinobi pulled a pair of bells from his pocket, tinkling lightly. "You must take them from me by noon. Fail—and no lunch. Punishment: tie you to one of these stumps and eat right in front of you."
"Eh-eh-eh?" came from the genin. Along with protesting gut gurgles.
"Wait, but we're three, bells only two!" Sakura spotted the catch first.
Kakashi squinted joyfully and explained:
"Someone from you needs to be left without lunch and disqualified. Whoever fails the test will be sent back to the Academy... Though you could all go back together."
He snorted, once again raising the bells to eye level.
"You can use everything, including shuriken or kunai..." At those words, Uzumaki grinned in anticipation. "You have to try to kill me to take the bells from me. Otherwise, you won't succeed."
"But, Sensei, that's dangerous!" Sakura protested.
"Heh-heh..." escaped from Naruto.
"What's so funny?" the girl shouted, turning to the boy.
"Nothing, Sakura-chan," the blond said, clasping his hands behind his head, his eyes half-closing slightly. "Just, even if all the Academy graduates tried to kill the one-eyed Sensei here, they wouldn't succeed. Because he's a jonin. The difference between us is like between a kitten and a tiger. I can barely imagine how to beat a jonin without using traps..."
Uchiha snorted, while Sakura's mouth fell open in surprise. The girl really had a poor idea of the abilities of experienced shinobi. She thought that by the Academy, they'd learned everything, and being a genin was just practice. Practice of what they'd mastered before graduation.
"Mmm, what a clever boy," Hatake drawled. "Don't worry, I won't fight at full strength. Your task is the bells. As I said, use everything you've learned. My task is to figure out which of you is worthy to walk the path of the shinobi, and who is a failure."
Sasuke and Sakura breathed a sigh of relief, directing their gazes at the one they considered the most inept of the trio. Naruto had the worst grades on the exams, and he hadn't shown outstanding results in practical classes either.
"True, I should warn you," Kakashi noted, "all the ones I've been given as students have failed this test."
"What?!" Sakura and Naruto's exclamations were joined by Sasuke's indignant "Hm."
"Heh-heh, alright. Enough talk," Hatake hung the bells on his belt. "Whether you're ready or not, the test starts right now..."
Sarutobi was lighting his pipe, eyeing the bald guy lounging casually in the armchair opposite. Besides Saitama and the Hokage, Anko was also in the office. The girl was standing modestly in the corner, head down, biting her lip. Earlier, she'd already received a reprimand from the Third for negligence and for failing to keep track of her target.
The picnic in the Red Zone had surprisingly gone off without incident. The Hokage had cursed to himself at length when he learned that the bald hero and the jinchuriki had just decided to go hunting. Dangerous monsters were supposed to be good training aids for Naruto. And free game would allow Saitama to save on food and accumulate the necessary funds to buy a TV. They'd ended up in the Zone completely by accident. Saitama had just been learning to move via the upper paths. Most likely, during one of his failed jumps, he'd broken through the barrier set up by the Uzumaki masters.
Two days had passed since then. That's how much time Hiruzen had given the bald guy to think it over...
"Offers like that aren't refused, Saitama," the Third said. "Especially since you admitted at the picnic that you want to earn money. I see no reason to refuse. In this situation, you'll only gain advantages. Plus, you'll get official status in the village."
"Old man," Saitama drawled, "the title of some jonin is cool, and I need the money, but... Maybe I can just be a temporary mercenary? And you give me some mission. Isn't that what ninja do?"
"Hm..." Hiruzen frowned.
They'd been unable to reach a consensus for about half an hour. The Third wanted to settle Saitama in Konoha. Issue him documents and the rank of tokubetsu jonin, i.e., legitimize him as a citizen and shinobi of the Leaf. Because, despite the cessation of assassination attempts by Root, the Hokage didn't believe the guy could always protect himself. It's impossible to stay vigilant twenty-four hours a day for an extended period. And Danzou wouldn't back down from his plan. Pleas don't work on him. Shimura could hire outsiders. When the bald hero lets his guard down, he could be killed or dragged to the Ne undergrounds. But if Saitama becomes a full-fledged resident of Konoha, it could seriously tie Root's leader's hands, because if Saitama is introduced to the jonin council and, so to speak, "brought into the light," eliminating the bald guy within the village would be extremely difficult. It just wouldn't go unnoticed. And outside, he'd be vigilant. At least, that's what Hiruzen was counting on.
And one thing is eliminating an unknown without documents or status, and quite another—eliminating a shinobi from your own village, whom clan heads will know. Though, recalling the Uchiha massacre, the Third wasn't sure of anything. You can't count on Danzou's sanity. All that's left is to hope for Saitama's strength and experience.
Right now, only a few ANBU, the Third himself, and a few others knew for sure about the bald hero's existence, not counting Ne's operatives with Danzou. And that was a double-edged sword. On one hand, the newcomer's power level needed to be kept secret, because if he appeared in the Bingo Book, other hidden villages might try to eliminate or poach such a "weapon"; extra attention is unnecessary for the future bald jonin. On the other hand, Konoha's clans needed to know that the village had gained a fighter at least Kage-level, if not surpassing it. Because a new war would break out soon, and a trump card in the form of Saitama could be quite unexpected for enemies.
"It's for your own good," Sarutobi urged the guy. "Why don't you want to settle in Konoha?"
"Old man, you don't get it," the guy shook his head regretfully, "I want to settle, but..." He trailed off mid-sentence.
In his world, Saitama had been a hero. Saving people, killing monsters and gods, defeating villains. Yes, he was bored, but he was needed by someone. His hobby—heroing—helped others. Here, he just didn't know what to do besides "raising" Naruto. Jumping around trees and following orders didn't appeal to him. The guy considered it a stupid occupation; he wouldn't save anyone that way. And he wouldn't benefit society.
"Old man, I want to settle," Saitama repeated. "If you'd given me some job on a construction site or in an office or... Doesn't matter. Anything. I'd agree. But play ninja? In these ridiculous green costumes? Seriously?"
"Uh... and what's wrong with the costumes?.." The Hokage set aside his pipe, interlacing his fingers near his chin. "Fine, forget the bijuu and costumes, wear what you want. I'll personally give you a yellow-red combat jumpsuit. But what's wrong with operative work?"
Saitama scratched the back of his head. Anko had told him how boring it could be to sit in ambush for days or escort some merchant's or bureaucrat's caravan with an inflated ego. And how sometimes you had to go hungry for days, subsisting on tasteless food pills. Missions vary. Interesting and dangerous high-rank ones go only to experienced jonin with good service records. Anko herself had never had an S-rank. At most A-rank, and not too often...
"Alright, Saitama. If you agree, you'll get double a jonin's monthly salary. Not counting missions. Plus your own house in the Sarutobi clan district..."
The bald hero's eyes widened. His usual indifferent expression changed to puzzled. He couldn't fathom why such luck had fallen on him. Free cheese is only in a mousetrap.
Hiruzen smirked, watching the guy's thought process. The Hokage paused, giving Saitama time to process the offer, and also preparing a "finishing blow" for the bald one.
"And as icing on the cake, you'll get permission for unlimited hunting in the Forest of Death, in that very zone," the Third winked, and understanding flashed in the hero's eyes. "And if you work as a shinobi for a year, by the end of the term, I'll buy you a TV..."
"Agreed!" Saitama jumped up. "What and where do I sign?"
Sarutobi grinned and, taking out his pipe, began refilling it with tobacco.
"Not so fast. You'll get all the documents tomorrow. But there's one nuance."
Saitama tensed. He knew it couldn't be that simple. There are always these nuances.
"A shinobi must not only be strong, but also..." The bald guy swallowed at those words. "Hm... informed."
The Hokage glanced at Mitarashi.
"Mitarashi Anko," he began firmly. The kunoichi straightened up. "Now I'm appointing you Saitama's tutor."
"Wha?" the hero didn't get it.
"Eh?!" escaped from Anko.
"I'll explain," Hiruzen smiled, looking at his subordinates' reactions. "To match the jonin rank, Saitama, you need the minimum knowledge of our world order. Starting tomorrow, besides training with Naruto, you'll study the same subjects as him. And your teacher will be Anko. Clear?"
By the end of the Third Hokage's speech, Anko's eye was twitching. Saitama just stood there in a daze, eyes rolled back, pondering something.
"Old fart... So what, now I have to be not just a babysitter, but a teacher too?"
Silence hung in the office. Besides the twitching eye, a vein pulsed on the kunoichi's temple. Managing to recover from the shock somehow, she asked:
"That's all?"
"Yes," Hiruzen nodded. "You both can go."
Anko led Saitama away by the hand, as he'd frozen like a statue. The hero shuffled behind the girl with wooden steps. The news of "qualification upgrade" had apparently been a surprise for the guy. Pleasant or unpleasant—it wasn't clear yet.
Puffing on his pipe, Hiruzen smiled. He was doing everything possible to bring these two together. They'd make a great pair. New blood would benefit the village, as would a new strong clan. Of course, all in the distant future, but still...
Sarutobi's musings were interrupted by a knock at the door.
"Hokage-sama, a client from the Land of Waves is here for you. Shall I let him in?" a young secretary girl inquired.
"Yes, we met him yesterday. Let him in..."
A minute later, a burly man in glasses with gray hair and a beard entered the office. He wore a brown sleeveless vest and matching pants. A white obi belt was tied around his shirt, and a light towel hung around his neck. The client clutched a pointed hat resembling a sliced-off onion bulb to his side.
"Hokage-sama, what about the escort team?" the man asked. "Have you found someone for me yet?"
Hiruzen thoughtfully chewed on his pipe, then, nodding to his thoughts, said:
"Yes, Tazuna-san. There's one free genin team with a jonin mentor. Seems they're training at the training ground or something. True, the team might seem a bit specific to you, but..."
The Third hesitated, but after a couple of moments continued:
"But in any case, with them and their mentor, you'll be completely safe. I assure you. I'll give the orders right now, and they'll be called. You can wait here for now..."
***
Read the story months ahead of the public release — early chapters are available on my Patreon: patreon.com/Granulan