"Saitama, how can you be like this?" Anko said despairingly.
Mitarashi had been trying to teach material for the second day that was usually covered in the Academy. Nothing complicated. Just the basics. But either she was a terrible teacher, or the student was… not the most talented.
"Uh… what'd I do wrong again?" Saitama asked, yawning widely.
"Did you even read the reference books I brought?"
"Well… skimmed them," the guy scratched his bald head.
He had indeed leafed through the textbooks Mitarashi brought. But there were no pictures or plot, so after a while the guy started nodding off. Jiraiya's books were another matter. Those could be reread several times without losing interest. Intrigue, conflict, plot… and plenty of other interesting stuff. So it wasn't surprising that Anko occasionally caught Saitama reading the erotic bestseller tucked into a geography or history textbook…
Now the guy and the girl were sitting at a small table in the living room of Saitama's new mansion. Though mansion was probably too grand a word. The house had a couple of floors, five rooms, a good bathroom with a tub, shower, and two toilets. It also had a large kitchen fully equipped. Even the refrigerator was bursting with food, which couldn't help but please Saitama.
The guy had gotten the house yesterday, by the way.
On top of that, the hero already had the proper documents, and Caped Baldy was officially a bald shinobi in the rank of Tokubetsu Jonin. They gave him clothes, but he refused to wear them. At least that color scheme. The Hokage had placed an order through his channels, and the yellow battle jumpsuit with red gloves and boots would be ready in a few days…
"Saitama, a shinobi must be oriented in the world," Anko began. "You have to study geography. I'm amazed you couldn't even remember the names of the countries. Not to mention the hidden villages. Seems like you're just messing with me…"
Mitarashi crossed her arms over her chest and frowned.
"Not true," the bald guy protested. "I perfectly remember I'm in the Land of Fire."
"Not surprising," Anko snorted. "It says so in your ID: 'Saitama. Tokubetsu-Jonin of Konoha. Land of Fire…'"
"Yeah?" Saitama raised an eyebrow. "I didn't notice what it said."
Mitarashi closed her eyes and slowly exhaled. The girl couldn't figure out if the guy was messing with her, if he was stupid, or if he just didn't care.
The girl shook her head. Geography clearly wasn't Saitama's strong suit. So she decided to approach from another angle.
"Fine, screw this geography. Were you listening to me carefully yesterday? I told you about Kage and Hokage in particular. Remember what Kage are?"
"Of course," the guy nodded. "Rulers of hidden villages. Cool dudes everyone respects. And Hokage rule Konoha. Even Naruto wants to become Hokage. Just don't get why…"
"Let's skip Naruto's ambitions," Anko interrupted the guy. "Good job. You remembered that. Now a history question about Konoha."
The bald shinobi frowned. He liked history, especially adventure ones. And yesterday he had tried to listen to the kunoichi carefully, especially remembering the cool wooden dude who founded Konoha. Or was he not wooden but controlled trees?..
No matter. In any case, the hero remembered some facts. Anko wasn't going to ask plot questions from "Come, Come, Paradise," but the guy was ready to answer village history questions.
"So," Mitarashi cleared her throat, "answer the question. Who is Namikaze Minato?"
The bald shinobi pondered. He definitely heard that name. Anko mentioned it. But in what context?
"One of the Hokage?" Saitama guessed.
The kunoichi smiled:
"Correct, good job. Namikaze Minato is the Fourth ruler of the Hidden Leaf. Also known as the 'Yellow Flash.'"
The guy nodded sagely. Anko asked the next question:
"And what was Minato famous for, and why was he called the 'Yellow Flash'?"
The bald guy frowned and began pondering the question, trying to use all his brainpower; he even tried logic. His expression was so funny that Mitarashi couldn't hold back a quiet chuckle. Saitama didn't notice.
Suddenly an idea struck him, and folding his hands on the table, he took on a smug look.
"Got it," the hero nodded. "They called him the 'Yellow Flash' because he…"
Saitama raised his index finger and grinned slyly:
"Whenever—straight into a tree, right?"
"What?!" Anko stared at the guy.
"Well," Saitama faltered. "Like, he kept hitting trees like lightning…"
The kunoichi's hand met her own face. Her shoulders slumped dejectedly. The girl slowly stood from the table and just as slowly approached the nearest wall. Then she began lightly but methodically banging her head against it.
"Hey, what're you doing?" the guy worried.
Anko didn't answer. Continuing to rhythmically thud her head against the wall, she just muttered despairingly:
"This is unreal. Impossible to teach Saitama anything. This mission from the Third is absolutely impossible…"
With each moment, the wall bangs grew stronger until Saitama couldn't take it and jumped to his feet.
"Stop it!" he shouted worriedly. "They just gave me this house yesterday, and you're already damaging my property. Go to the training ground and practice headbutts there!.."
Mitarashi sighed bitterly but stopped abusing the wall.
"Fine, Saitama," she said calmly. "I'll go to the shop for notebooks. When I get back—you'll take dictation on what I say. Then you'll read it aloud."
Saitama grimaced like from a toothache but reluctantly nodded.
Mitarashi left temporarily, and the guy went to the kitchen to make food.
"I don't get why I need this," the hero said gloomily, pulling food from the refrigerator. "I'm twenty-five already, and I'm suffering like some schoolkid…"
"Good job, kids," Kakashi said, approaching the displeased genin. "Now scatter. Tomorrow we meet in the same place, same time."
In the next instant, the jonin vanished with a pop.
Sakura growled:
"What kind of sensei did we get? He even sends a clone on missions!.."
Today Team Seven had their first D-rank mission. Weeding beds. When Sakura found out, she grumbled for a long time. Though she started complaining much earlier. And the reason was the same Kakashi.
Not only did the jonin show up three hours late for the meeting with his charges, but after taking the mission, he lay under a tree in the shade. The genin worked up a sweat under the scorching summer sun.
Good thing Naruto immediately made a dozen clones and the kids finished faster overall. Without Uzumaki, they'd have worked till evening.
And now it turned out a clone had been with them the whole time. Either Kakashi took the mission himself and then unobtrusively left his clone with the genin. But that wasn't so important.
"And is he gonna train us?" Sakura continued fuming.
"That's nothing, Sakura-chan," the blond said. "Katame-sensei didn't even mention mission pay."
"Huh?!" the girl drawled. "What pay?"
Then Naruto explained about mission ranks, pay for missions, and that even genin on low-rank missions should get paid.
"So he pocketed our ryo too?" A vein pulsed on Sakura's forehead, her fists clenched with a crack.
"Yep," Naruto nodded. "D-rank missions average 5000 ryo per team. Can't wait to do an S-rank. Those pay from 1,000,000 ryo. Imagine. A whole million, dattebayo!.."
Uzumaki dreamily rolled his eyes and rubbed his palms.
Sasuke, frowning, asked:
"Where'd you learn all that?"
"Heh-heh," Naruto grinned, scratching his nose. "Lately I've been reading a lot."
"Reading?" Sakura raised an eyebrow, forgetting the money for a moment. "Didn't know you could. Idiots don't read, right?"
"Sakura-chan, you're cruel," Uzumaki pretended to be offended, pursing his lips.
But a moment later his face lit up with a bright smile, as if remembering something.
"Anyway, guys, see you tomorrow. Gonna train. Daily quota won't do itself."
Then Naruto dashed off briskly, leaving the genin alone. The girl shifted from foot to foot, fixing her lovesick gaze on the Uchiha. Sasuke glowered after the fleeing blond.
"Sasuke-kun," Sakura began shyly. Her cheeks flushed slightly. "Maybe you and I… well…"
"Pf," was her answer. "I need to train too." Then the Uchiha shoved his hands in his pockets and headed the way Naruto had gone.
"But, Sasuke-kun, wait…"
The boy spun around sharply. If his glare could kill, Haruno would already be dead. But luckily for the little kunoichi, the genin didn't have that ability. After a couple heartbeats, he looked away.
"Sakura, of the three of us, you're the weakest and most useless," he stated indifferently. "I don't know why you even became a shinobi."
The kunoichi's eyes teared up, her lips trembled. She seemed about to cry.
Sasuke gave the girl a contemptuous look and walked away.
"To kill him… for revenge, I must become stronger. Right now I'm too weak…" the Uchiha whispered.
On Training Ground 66, Uzumaki continued torturing his body with hellish workouts. He was doing jump squats while holding a massive log on his shoulders. Moreover, he was doing it all on water. Meaning after each jump, he didn't sink into the reservoir but landed on the lake surface, channeling chakra into his feet.
"Nine hundred ninety-nine…" Naruto rasped. "…One thousand!"
Exhaling noisily, the blond tossed the log to the shore—luckily it was close. Then he fully submerged in the water, spreading arms and legs out. It made a floating star. After lying like that a while, the boy crawled to shore where his stuff was.
Uzumaki only managed to stand on the third try. On shaking, overstrained legs, he slowly shuffled to the food bag.
Naruto trained in just shorts. His tanned body gleamed in the afternoon sun rays. Push-ups, crunches, and squats—done. Only running left.
Master Saitama had allowed fewer reps to save time on workouts. But in exchange, the genin had to use imagination to maximize difficulty.
Now Naruto did a thousand reps per exercise… with a log weighing a couple of hundred kilos.
For push-ups, the log sticks to his back—the genin also uses chakra, training control—and the boy does the exercise in planche, i.e., no legs, just arms, holding his body parallel to the ground.
For crunches, the kid hangs upside down, attaching with chakra to a rock, holding the log in hands (also sticking to the wood with chakra).
Jump squats—with the same log, but now standing on water.
He planned to run with the same hated log, but to max difficulty, he'd run on water. The good news: the planned distance was just ten kilometers. Should manage in half an hour.
This so-called advanced training level the boy had been practicing for two days. It exhausted even more than the previous standard sixteen-hour workouts. But now training lasted under seven hours. Leaving lots of free time for rest and recovery.
Uzumaki set to devouring rabbit sandwiches. To finish faster, he washed them down with green tea from his flask…
After lunch, he watched clones training ninjutsu nearby. Fifty copies could already decently use Dragon Flame Jutsu and Small Fireball. Another fifty sat aside, trying to cut leaves with wind nature. Another hundred practiced aerial kicks.
Suddenly memories from a clone came…
"Yeah," Naruto mentally snorted. "As Anko-sempai said, D-rank missions really are boring…"
Listening to Mitarashi, he sent a clone on the first mission, pouring a fifth of his reserve into it. Naruto noticed he could control chakra amount given to clones, and their main trait: more chakra = tougher and longer-lasting. Plus, other copies could make new clones, spending the original Naruto's reserve. So Uzumaki decided to send "replicas" on all future D-rank missions. As long as teammates didn't find out and Kakashi didn't make the original come…
Another batch of memories came from clones studying the Academy library. Naruto winced, head spun, body swayed slightly. He felt something dripping from his nose. Pulling a handkerchief, he wiped the blood.
He already had three bloodied handkerchiefs today.
"All for the dream…" Naruto grinned.
In the next instant, another info batch came from city library clones. His head felt like splitting. From pain, the boy clenched his teeth and braced a hand on the ground. Blood started dripping on the grass.
"No," Uzumaki shook his head, nearly passing out. "All for the goal!"
"Please," Tazuna begged, out of breath. "Break…"
Today this crazy team ran another marathon. At least it seemed like a marathon to the architect. Several hours of running, even slow, had worn the man to the limit. Heart about to burst from his chest. Legs ached like red-hot needles were stuck in them. Every move shot with wild pain.
But his companions felt no strain. The two in green just ran figure-eights around their team with logs on shoulders. The gray-eyed guy and girl who seemed more sane also ran without discomfort. They weren't even winded. Or sweaty.
"That's it, I can't. Gonna die…"
Tripping, Tazuna fell. Glasses flew off his nose. Sweat flooded his eyes, ears rang.
"Kami! Better if mercenaries killed me," he whispered.
"Break!" the monster named Gai bellowed.
"Glory to Kami," Tazuna muttered. A moment later, the man's consciousness faded…
A heavy thud sounded. That was the jonin's two huge logs falling from his shoulders. Followed by another thud. That was the smaller log from Rock Lee's shoulders.
"Neji, let's spar!" the thick-browed boy declared energetically.
"Sorry, Lee, but sparring on a mission is a bad idea," Neji said coldly.
"As you say. Then I'll do a thousand push-ups on my thumbs. If I can't—I'll walk to the Land of Waves on hands! In the name of the Power of Youth!"
After that phrase, the boy dropped and, in push-up position, started doing them on his thumbs.
"Uh-huh," Hyuga agreed phlegmatically. "Whatever."
"I wonder, if he fails, will he cross the river on hands too?" flashed through Neji's mind. But brushing extra thoughts aside, the genin got to sensor duties.
Every half hour Hyuga scanned the area with dojutsu. Now it was time to check surroundings.
Veins around eyes bulged. Sweeping the perimeter with Byakugan, the guy frowned slightly.
Tenten, bringing up the rear, approached the genin and questioningly raised an eyebrow.
"We have guests," Neji reported, deactivating dojutsu. "Two at three o'clock. A kilometer out. Don't know if after us, but better stay alert."
The girl nodded and started pulling scrolls with sealed weapons. Then scrolls with food. She looked at the motionless architect and asked worriedly:
"He didn't die, right?"
Neji activated Byakugan again, but now to scan the client carcass.
"He's fine," the guy concluded. "He'll live."
"Won't they fine us for abusing this Tazuna?"
"Early in the trip Gai-sensei offered to carry him," Neji began. "Client refused. Then Lee offered to make a palanquin for the architect, carried by us in pairs. Client refused."
"I get where you're going," Tenten snorted. "Hinting he's to blame."
"Not hinting," the guy corrected the kunoichi. "Just stating fact."
"Kids," their sensei loomed over the genin. "How about training?" The man smiled, dazzling the genin with his signature grin.
"We might face an enemy soon," Hyuga said. "So we need strength. Wasting it on training is a bad idea…"
"As long as the Power of Youth burns in us," Gai interrupted his student, "no enemies can scare us!"
The jonin struck a good-guy pose. Tenten just sighed quietly. Neji didn't react to the sensei's words.
Seeing the genin reaction, Maito smiled even wider. Suddenly he noticed the unconscious client.
"Oh, client-san decided to nap! See—he uses every free second of rest!"
Suddenly Gai's smile vanished. He seemed to be listening to something. Thick brows furrowed.
"Break—one and a half hours. Wake the client in half an hour and feed him. Don't leave him alone. I'll be nearby. If anything—I'll back you up," the jonin ordered. His tone was serious.
The man himself picked up the logs and went to train.
Half an hour later, they lifted the architect but didn't wake him. Turns out he hadn't just fallen asleep—he'd fainted.
Tenten made him sniff ammonia from a bottle. Tazuna jerked awake.
"I'm not dead yet?" he asked sadly.
"Tenten has basic medical aid skills. So you won't die even if you want to," Neji noted indifferently.
Tazuna nodded sluggishly. The girl had already unsealed food and was portioning it into bowls.
"Itadakimas," the architect said despairingly.
The trio slowly ate. Gai and Lee trained by the nearby river. The girl was noticeably nervous, but her teammate seemed the embodiment of calm.
*Whistle*
A kunai flies into the bowl that appeared before Tazuna. Neji held the dish. Tazuna's eyes bulged as he looked from genin to bowl with protruding kunai. Then, gulping noisily, he looked at the guests.
"Finally," Hyuga said irritably. "You showed up."
Two emerged from the thicket. Judging by protectors and look—Kiri chunin shinobi. Dressed in standard sealed Mist ninja suits with masks for underwater breathing. Main weapon apparently one for two: long chain linking massive steel gauntlets. Chain covered in huge spikes.
"I assume your target is the architect?" Neji asked coldly, slowly rising.
"Smart kid," one shinobi rasped. "Even if so, then what?"
"Nothing," Hyuga said, activating Byakugan. "Our goals differ, so conflict inevitable. Knowing Mist bloodthirstiness and vindictiveness, leaving you alive is unwise."
"Overconfident… Kill him!"
The Mist ninja charged Neji, forgetting the kunoichi.
Tenten, unsealing her arsenal, hurled shuriken and kunai at foes. Shinobi dodged or blocked with bracers. The iron rain temporarily cooled the chunin ardor. But they decided to eliminate Hyuga first as most dangerous.
"Guard the architect, I'll handle them," Neji tossed to the girl. Nodding, she nearly dragged Tazuna away from the fight by the scruff.
With no more projectiles hindering, Mist ninja pincered the genin, looping chain on him. Boy didn't dodge in time, so wrapped from all sides.
"Heh-heh, say bye to life, Hyuga!"
Next instant, chain shredded their target. But before they could rejoice at quick victory, a voice sounded behind one shinobi:
"Piercing Palm."
*Crack,* bone crunch echoed. One Mist ninja fell motionless. The second, turning, stared disbelievingly at the genin. Neji stood unharmed, chunin body at his feet.
"Gozu… brother… no…"
Before the shinobi recovered from shock, Hyuga streaked toward him.
"Eight Trigrams: Sixty-Four Palms of Heaven!"
A barrage of strikes hit vital points and tenketsu on the chunin body. Moments later Hyuga finished the series, shinobi dropped to knees paralyzed for a bit. Ten breaths left to live.
Neji approached Tenten and asked about Tazuna's state. The architect stared in disbelief at events.
"Dynamic entry!" Lee yelled, smashing into the kneeling Mist ninja mid-leap. The half-dead chunin flew ten meters and slammed into a tree.
"Didn't I miss?" Lee asked teammates.
Tenten just shook her head dejectedly, rubbing her forehead.
"Tazuna-san," Neji began, ignoring the thick-browed genin's arrival. "We need to talk seriously…"
The architect, glancing at the corpse, gulped nervously.
***
Read the story months ahead of the public release — early chapters are available on my Patreon: patreon.com/Granulan