"How do you want to be someone better when you don't even know yourself?"
____
The four sat in front of the bonfire while Seraphyne cooked the meat of the huge bear over the fire.
The flames crackled softly, illuminating their faces in the middle of the forest darkness.
The aroma of the roasting meat mixed with the smell of damp earth and dry leaves, creating a strange feeling of calm, as if for a moment the world had decided not to be dangerous.
Night had completely fallen and time seemed to move slower than normal. No one said anything. Only the sound of the fire, the wind moving the branches and, from time to time, some distant noise from the forest animals could be heard.
It was one of those silences that don't make you uncomfortable, but that don't quite reassure you either.
Everyone was waiting for dinner in silence.
Kael looked at the flames without really paying attention to anything.
His eyes followed the movement of the fire, but his mind was somewhere else, very far from there. He had felt a knot in his chest for a while, as if something inside him was about to explode and he didn't know how to stop it.
Maybe he was already tired of hiding who he was.
Maybe he could no longer keep pretending.
The people around him trusted him, treated him as if he were someone important, someone special… but he didn't feel that way.
He felt that he was lying to them just by existing, as if he were occupying a place that didn't belong to him.
He looked at his hands for a moment.
But these didn't feel like his own.
—I…
His voice came out lower than he expected, almost blending with the sound of the fire.
The others managed to hear him and turned to look at him.
That only made him more nervous. Kael gripped the fabric of his pants tightly, trying to control his breathing, which kept quickening again and again.
He felt that if he stayed silent one more second, he would drown.
He clenched his teeth until.
—I know what you're going to say, Kael.
Magnus's voice broke the silence before he could continue.
She was moving a small wooden stick she had found on the ground with her fingers, without looking at him directly, as if that conversation was something she had already expected for a long time.
—What do you mean? —Kael asked, confused.
—I know you're going to say that you're not strong… and that you don't think you're capable of being the Demon King, right?
Kael opened his eyes in surprise.
He felt as if they had read his soul.
—How… did you know?
Magnus raised her gaze for the first time. Her eyes reflected the light of the fire, but also something deeper, something Kael couldn't understand.
—Because, no matter what, we are the Seven Deadly Sins. Guardians and companions of the Demon King. There is no one who can know you better than us… even better than yourself.
Kael fell silent upon hearing those words.
He wanted to respond, he wanted to say that they were wrong, that he wasn't the person they thought… but the words didn't come out.
The fire illuminated Magnus's face, who continued playing with the piece of wood as if nothing, but her voice was serious, too serious.
—We know you're not from this world —she continued—. So you don't have to feel inferior to us. You shouldn't. When the time comes… you will be the only being capable of facing the heroes.
Kael lowered his gaze.
The words weighed too much.
—I don't know why you say that, Magnus… but I'm not strong. I'm too weak. This body I'm in now isn't even mine. My real body is…
He stopped abruptly.
The words didn't come out.
He tried to remember.
He really tried.
He closed his eyes, searching for some image, some sound, anything that would tell him who he had been before.
But he couldn't.
He didn't remember his previous appearance.
He didn't remember his voice.
He didn't remember who he was before arriving in this world.
It was as if everything had been erased, as if someone had taken his life and thrown it in the trash.
—You don't remember, right? —Magnus said calmly—. You don't remember your "self" from before coming to this strange world for you.
Kael clenched his fists tightly.
—No… I don't remember. But for some reason… this world feels familiar.
Viridia watched him in silence, with a look that wasn't pity, but understanding.
—It is —Magnus answered—. Because when you arrived here you never tried to remember your past. It's as if your mind had gotten trapped in this world. Tell me, Kael… can you remember anything? Even a little.
Kael brought his hand to his head.
He tried to force it.
He wanted to remember.
He needed to remember.
Blurry images appeared for an instant: shadows, distant voices, a place he didn't recognize… but immediately a sharp pain pierced his mind.
It was as if something was screaming at him to stop.
"System error…
Memories monitored by a third party.
Failure when attempting to recall the user's past."
Kael froze.
He felt a chill run down his spine.
He hadn't realized until that moment that he had lost absolutely everything he knew about himself. He hadn't just forgotten it… someone had taken it from him.
—Calm down, Kael —Viridia said, approaching—. This happens to all the demon kings who arrive. You're not the exception. Later on you'll be able to remember your past again, you'll see.
She stroked his hair gently, as if trying to calm a scared child.
Kael didn't answer.
He kept looking at the ground, feeling smaller than ever.
—I just hope you don't do it… too soon… —Seraphyne murmured in such a low voice that Kael couldn't hear her nor anyone around her.
The silence returned for a few seconds.
The fire continued crackling, indifferent to everything.
Until Kael let out a small laugh.
—Hahaha… somehow you all became friendly all of a sudden, right? —he said with a smile—. It feels like we've known each other our whole lives.
The others looked at him surprised, but then they smiled too.
It was true.
Despite everything, they felt like a group that had always been together, as if destiny had put them on the same path a long time ago.
—Well, dinner's ready —Seraphyne interrupted—. Each take your piece of meat. Tomorrow at first light we leave for our destination.
With a smile, she began to hand out the food.
One by one they sat back down on the ground, piece of meat in hand, ready to enjoy the dinner of the huge bear's meat.
The night continued peacefully.
But inside Kael, something had begun to move… something he himself didn't understand yet.