Benjamin's eyes shot open. He was staring at his ceiling. Silence filled the room. Thank goodness... I'm in my room. In my bed.
Ever since the abrupt heat cycle, the nature of Benjamin's dreams had shifted. They were no longer nightmares of his past, but vivid, lewd visions of Charles doing unspeakable things to him.
It's because I see him too often! He scolded himself, sitting up and rubbing his face. I need to stay busy. I need to get him out of my head.
These thoughts hounded him throughout the week. He tried to focus on his patients, but his mind would wander to Charles. The purple orchids Charles had brought for his parents. They remind me of his eyes, he thought, then immediately shook his head. If he were just an arrogant, pompous jerk, I could brush him aside. But he isn't.
"Benjamin?"
He blinked, coming back to the present. Wren was looking at him with concern. They were sitting in a small, upscale restaurant in a private room Wren had insisted on booking.
"Oh, sorry, Wren. I was just lost in thought."
"No worries, but you do seem more distracted than usual. Is there anything on your mind?"
"I apologize. Please, don't mind me."
"I heard you were quite ill after the market," Wren said, his tone casual but his eyes sharp.
"Yes, I was. How did you know?" Benjamin said, caught off guard.
"I stopped by the clinic to drop off those supplies you wanted. Prince Charles was there. He wouldn't even let me step inside to check on you. He told me to come back another time." Wren paused, swirling his wine. "Was it your heat cycle?"
Benjamin's face burned. "How... how did you know?"
"I could smell the Prince's pheromones all over the front porch. And I caught a hint of someone else's. I assumed it was yours."
Benjamin nodded, unable to meet his gaze.
"So," Wren asked, "Were you able to handle things?"
"I took medicine and slept. Nothing happened," Benjamin said quickly.
Wren chuckled. "I'm glad you're better. I wouldn't hold it against anyone to handle their cycles through sexual intercourse. After all, that is why they occur. To mate."
Benjamin nodded, the embarrassment threatening to swallow him whole.
"Don't be shy, Benjamin. We're both doctors here." Wren smiled, taking a sip of his wine. "Well, I'll stop teasing you now. Are you enjoying the food?"
"It's delicious," Benjamin said, taking a large bite to avoid further talk of his heat cycle.
After they finished their main course and moved on to dessert, the atmosphere in the room shifted. Wren looked across the table, his usual confidence replaced with concern.
"So, what was it you wanted to talk about privately?" Benjamin asked. "Is it work? Do you need a referral?"
"No, nothing like that. Benjamin, did I ever tell you about my family?"
"I don't think we've discussed our parents much," Benjamin noted.
"How about yours? Are they in Isadora as well?" Wren asked.
"Unfortunately, they passed away when I was quite young."
"I'm sorry, that must have been difficult," Wren replied, his expression softening with genuine sympathy.
Benjamin just nodded, maintaining a neutral expression.
"Mine passed while I was still in school," Wren said, leaning forward. "So I understand the weight of that loss, but I was already twenty. It must have been much harder for you, being so young. Do you have any other relatives?"
"I'm sorry to hear your parents passed. My condolences to you as well... Do you mind me asking how–" Benjamin paused when he saw a flash of discomfort in Wren's expression.
"Unfortunately, I don't have relatives," Benjamin said, changing the subject as he looked down at his glass. "I've mostly lived by myself since then. Of course, when I was studying in Xenos, I lived in the dorms with the other students, but otherwise... it's just been me. What about you?"
"After I lost my parents my aunt and uncle supported me. They treated me like I was their own child. They would always nag me about my health… and my love life. They still do. I'm an alpha, as you know. My parents were very traditional about who I should marry, but my aunt and uncle just want me to be happy."
"I'm sure you could marry whoever you wanted," Benjamin said. "I see people staring at you all the time whenever we go out."
"Are you sure they're staring at me?" Wren tilted his head, a half-smile on his lips. "The truth is, since I've finished my studies, I haven't found anyone I was drawn to."
"Do you have a type? Perhaps Prince Charles could introduce you to some potential partners."
Wren laughed. "That's why I've brought you here, Benjamin. You are my type. You're the first person I've been drawn to in over a decade."
Benjamin's eyes widened. He pointed a finger at his own chest. "Me?"
"Yes. Quite frankly, you're a brilliant and compassionate doctor. I'm fascinated by the duality of your nature. You're so sharp, astute, and authoritative the moment you step into the clinic. Yet, the second you take off that lab coat, you become this quiet, almost timid person. I find both versions of you equally captivating. And, I'm sure I don't need to mention your physical appearance — that's a given. "
Benjamin blinked, stunned. "Um... thank you? I guess— I guess I can mention this to the Prince? I'm sure he could find someone with those qualities you're looking for."
"I don't know if you're being coy or if you're truly that modest," Wren said. "What I'm saying is that I think you're the perfect partner for me. I'd like to marry you…" Wren paused.
"I can see us running the clinic together. You could even start an apothecary. Our children could grow up running around in the forest," Wren paused again before continuing. "Or we could travel. I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy. I know we can be happy together."
Benjamin sat in a daze, his mouth slightly open.
"I know it's rushed," Wren added quickly. "You don't have to say yes to marriage tonight. I just want a chance to get to know you better, as more than a colleague."
"Are you seeing someone?" Wren asked, seeing Benjamin's startled face. "If you are, I'm so sorry for not asking beforehand."
Benjamin shook his head. "I'm not seeing anyone at the moment. I'm just… I'm shocked right now," Benjamin managed to say. "I didn't know that you saw me that way, Wren. I- I appreciate the honesty."
"Take your time. I won't pester you for an answer immediately."
"Thank you, but... I'm sure you'll find someone more worthy. I'm just a doctor in a small clinic."
Wren shook his head. "Don't put yourself down like that."
"And after all, I am the one who gets to decide who I find worthy, don't you think?" Wren asked, smiling at Benjamin.
The rest of the dinner was a blur. Wren acted as if he hadn't just dropped a bombshell, but when he dropped Benjamin off at the clinic, he held Benjamin's hand for a moment longer than necessary. "Think about it, Ben. Goodnight."
That night, Benjamin didn't dream. He just tossed and turned.
I've never thought of Wren that way. He's a mentor. A respected colleague. But... I know that if I married him, life would be stable. Comfortable. But is that enough?
I want to marry someone I love. Someone who I can be myself with. Someone who I can laugh with. Someone I can trust. Someone who will hold me and comfort me in my darkest moments. Someone whose very presence makes me feel warm from the inside out. Someone like …
Charles's face appeared in his mind.
Charles? Am I falling for Charles? Benjamin's heart dropped.
No. I'm an idiot. That's an even worse match. He's a Prince. I'm just a doctor on the run. To him, I'm just a friend. He was just being kind to me when I was in heat.
He sat up in the dark.
I need to stop this. For my own sanity.
I need to reject Wren, and I need to stop seeing Charles.
I'm having these delusions because I've let someone get too close. I need to go back to how it was before. Quiet. Alone. Safe.
I need to stop everything.