Shen Changyin and Xie Yu walked along the long and narrow stone steps leading into the mountain. Dense green forest surrounded them on both sides. The ground was covered in a thick layer of fallen leaves and soil. Only birdsong, the rustling of unknown animals stepping on dried leaves, and their steady breathing remained in the air.
The further they walked, the more Xie Yu noticed that although Nanshan was not famous nor particularly high in elevation, it was no small hill either. The gray granite steps became narrower and each step stretched wider. The terrain on both sides grew steeper and steeper.
She was bold. She deliberately walked on the edge of the steps and kicked a small stone off the side. The pebble tumbled and rolled downward until it disappeared entirely.
"Shen Changyin, look at this. It's so steep."
Shen Changyin walked exactly at the center of the steps, neither left nor right, eyes forward. "Let's keep moving. We still have to return by noon for the banquet."
"If we go any further, one side is probably going to turn into a cliff." Xie Yu agreed and stepped away from the edge.
"There isn't even a railing here. You could really fall to your death."
The two continued onward.
Unlike Xie Yu's energetic nature and her habit of pointing at every squirrel and bird to identify the species, Shen Changyin walked slowly, steadily. Her hands were clasped in front of her abdomen, waist straight, head slightly lowered. She only stepped down after carefully checking each spot, always staying at the exact center of the path.
As they climbed higher, a faint mist began to rise through the forest. Milky white, lowering visibility, making the end of the stone steps look almost like an illusion.
Even Xie Yu slowed down. She glanced around, then stepped down two stairs.
"I'll walk behind you. You walk in front." Standing below, she lifted her chin slightly at Shen Changyin. "It's fine. Go on."
Shen Changyin lowered her eyes and continued upward.
Xie Yu followed a few steps behind. She no longer looked at squirrels or birds, but at the silver-white figure ahead of her, arms slightly spread as if ready to steady herself.
The mist thickened. Morning dew soaked the hem of Shen Changyin's skirt. At last, they reached a wider platform.
A priestess was waiting there. She didn't react when she saw Shen Changyin, but when Xie Yu stepped out from behind her, she bowed her head.
"Third Princess, you've arrived."
Xie Yu had been worried the priestess here might be like the ones below the mountain, claiming to be Taoists but actually practicing sorcery. Yet this woman had a healthy, lightly tanned complexion and rosy lips, nothing like the eerie group the Empress kept.
"Nanshan is a place every princess must pass through with her wife during the wedding rites. Marriages that go through Nanshan are said to be blessed with long harmony and mutual affection."
The priestess stepped aside, revealing what lay ahead. Xie Yu finally noticed that the steps split into two paths, one left and one right, each disappearing into the forest.
"In the world of marriage, both brides have lived separate lives with their own families and pasts. Some may never have met before. After the engagement, however, their paths must be bound together."
"A marriage is meeting on different journeys and choosing to walk as one."
"Please choose one path each. After you reunite on the other side, you may enter the ancestral shrine to receive blessings. Once that is done, the rites are complete and you may descend the mountain."
After the bizarre rituals below the mountain, this part felt comforting, even warm. Neither Xie Yu nor Shen Changyin objected.
Xie Yu estimated the two paths. The left was steeper and probably shorter. The right was winding, longer, but gentler.
She glanced at Shen Changyin. Her health was truly poor. From the base of the mountain to here, her breathing had already grown uneven. Even though she still tried to maintain her calm and reserved demeanor, her complexion had turned even paler than before. All color had drained from her face.
Xie Yu chose first. "I'll take the left."
She pulled out a delicate water pouch and a small oiled-paper packet. "And you said I wouldn't have time to eat today. Look, I'm using it after all."
She opened the packet. Inside were five or six pastries. She ate half. Then she opened the water pouch and drank half without touching the rim.
Wrapping them back up, she handed them to Shen Changyin. "Take these."
Even though she hadn't prepared them specifically for Shen Changyin, Xie Yu still looked extremely proud. "Being engaged to someone mature and reliable like me, you're getting a huge bargain."
When Shen Changyin accepted the items, Xie Yu turned and quickly walked toward the steep left path.
The priestess watched her vanish into the forest, then said to Shen Changyin, "The Third Princess is quite good at taking care of others."
Shen Changyin asked, "Has the priestess met her before?"
The priestess smiled. "When the Third Princess turned six, she finally grew strong enough to be brought here by Her Majesty to be written into the clan records. There was a grand ceremony for it."
"She already had amazing stamina at that age. She ran everywhere chasing the temple's kittens. I was still a novice back then and made many mistakes. She had to repeat parts of the process several times because of me. She never got angry. She even comforted me."
"Later I heard that at ten she fell gravely ill and was not fully lucid when she woke. I worried for her. But seeing her now, she is clearly fine. That puts me at ease."
"It's been many years, so it's normal she doesn't remember me."
Shen Changyin's gaze flickered. "Does the priestess know what illness she had? How she survived it? And if there is any risk of relapse?"
She wanted to know how the Xie Yu of that past life had declined so severely within three years that even medicine could not save her, forcing the Empress to request a marriage of fortune to extend her life.
She remembered that day in her previous life. Dressed in a red wedding gown, her name changed to be more "auspicious" for the ritual, she knelt silently before layers of red and white drapery.
The imperial physicians and attendants moved in and out. The sharp scent of medicine filled the chamber. Behind the curtains, the woman being treated slipped in and out of consciousness, letting out weak, painful groans.
Over an hour later, after stabilizing her condition, the exhausted physicians withdrew.
For a moment, the room grew quiet. A close attendant probably whispered something beside the sick woman's ear.
Shen Changyin could not hear it clearly. She only noticed that after a while, the curtains shifted. From within, a thin, nearly translucent hand reached out. Long-fingered, but so frail the bones looked like they might pierce through the skin.
That hand held a letter with no name and no seal. The flap was stained with ink.
Xie Yu back then must have been in terrible condition. Speaking was difficult. Even holding the light sheet of paper seemed like the hardest thing in the world. Her hand trembled for a long time before she managed to force out a weak whisper. "...Not my intention."
"Sorry." After that, her fingers went limp. The attendant behind the curtains cried out in panic and rushed to call the physicians back.
As the letter fluttered to the floor, Shen Changyin stared at it, feeling the absurd cruelty of fate.
That day, even the imperial doctors could not save Xie Yu. Orders rushed out from the palace, demanding she be transported immediately for emergency treatment.
Everyone scrambled. No one cared about the bride who had failed to bring fortune. Shen Changyin waited in the suddenly empty bridal chamber for a long time before finally reaching out to pick up the letter.
The envelope was already creased at the corners.
The writing inside was concise and neat. Only a few characters looked strange.
Shen Changyin hated that she could guess the circumstances under which the letter had been written.
She must have already been very ill. Unable to leave her own courtyard. But still able to lift a brush. She must have already foreseen she would later lose control of her body.
Every few dozen characters, pain must have struck, making the strokes twist. That explained the strange marks.
Yet the content was precise. No wasted words. Remarkably tidy for someone in that state. Almost impossible.
Xie Yu must have written it many times, discarding each version until this one was barely acceptable.
The message was simple. First, an apology.
Second, an explanation: If she had sent out this letter, she must have already been too sick to control her own fate. She hoped the recipient would understand that the marriage ritual was not her choice. Her heart already belonged to someone else.
The third part explained her estate. She had troops, shops, and wealth. After allocating the portions owed to her attendants and as charity for southern refugees, everything else would be handed to the recipient, Shen Changyin, as an apology for dragging another woman's life into hers even in death.
The final part no longer had much to do with Shen Changyin.
The writer stopped trying to hold herself together. She simply wrote freely, endlessly, about how she had loved someone, though she could no longer find her. Loving someone was not a bad thing. It made food taste better and scenery more beautiful.
Once again, she apologized for burdening the recipient, but wished her a better life after her death. She hoped she would not obey the Ministry of Rites' rules demanding widowhood, but go find someone she loved and live a life far better than this.
This was the former-life Xie Yu, Shen Changyin's wife who had died early.
Back then, the Xie Yu who passed away wouldn't have understood that Shen Changyin's suffering was far from over. The marriage-charm ritual had only been the first turn of fate's grinding gears.
After almost all her blood had been drained, Shen Changyin couldn't help but hate everyone involved. She even hated Xie Yu for "not being as hateful as she should have been."
Wind swept through the dense forest, leaves rustling loudly. The priest's words pulled Shen Changyin back from her memories. "My apologies, Madam Shen. I truly don't know what kind of illness the Third Princess suffered from."
Shen Changyin nodded to show gratitude. "It's fine. Thank you. I'll head up the mountain now."
She went up the right-side path. The wind passing through the forest sounded like the rolling current of time.
Ever since her rebirth, she had only thought: In the past life Xie Yu had ruined her marriage, so in this life she would control Xie Yu's marriage.
But she had never thought about… after that, then what?
That thin hand—reaching out from layers of curtains to deliver a letter—flashed again in her mind.
And then it was quickly covered by another memory: the night of the rebellion, a hand with balanced strength and clear joints grabbing her and pulling her to escape.
Shen Changyin knew her destiny had already changed.
But would Xie Yu still die like that?
How had Xie Yu become so gravely ill? Was it an unavoidable fate—or had someone harmed her?
The stone steps really seemed long, endlessly long. Under the shade of the trees, everything grew dimmer. The stone under her feet was cold.
On the day of her wedding in her past life, Xie Yu had been returned early the next morning after being taken into the palace for treatment overnight—already cold, breathless, lying quietly beneath a large white cloth.
No matter what, Shen Changyin still followed Xie Yu's written instructions, cremated her, and placed the ashes into a white porcelain urn.
It was the only time in that life she had ever seen Xie Yu without anything between them—just a handful of ash.
The mountain's chill slowly thickened, but Shen Changyin's body was cold by nature. She barely felt anything. It was as if that coldness wasn't aimed at her, but at someone else.
She walked for a long time. The steps underfoot grew harder to traverse. Even the birdsong around her disappeared.
But ahead, faint light began to appear, and along with it—
"—Shen Changyin!"
Hearing the call, she lifted her head. The forest had ended.
Before her was a low, bright sea of soft pink-white flowers under the sun.
Xie Yu was standing there, in the middle of the blossoms, on her tiptoes waving vigorously, face animated as she urged her to hurry.
Her cheeks were rosy. Her energy overflowing. She looked so healthy, so vividly alive—like an evergreen that would never wither.
Shen Changyin stood at the boundary between shadow and light, paused for a moment, then walked toward her without hesitation.
—
T/N: If you're enjoying this translation, feel free to check out my Patreon. If you're unable to support financially, you can still subscribe for free and receive chapters two hours earlier, along with updates and announcements. Paid tiers offer early access and daily chapters.
Thank you so much for reading!
patreon.com/Baenz
