Chapter 27: The Toad Sage and the Waterfall of Mishaps part-2
I crashed into him.
We went down in a heap. I landed on top of his chest. My hands, seeking purchase, grabbed the lapels of his red vest.
Riiiip.
The vest tore open.
But that wasn't the worst part.
As we hit the ground, a small orange book fell out of his pocket. Make-Out Paradise: Special Edition.
It flew into the air.
Gravity brought it back down. It landed, open, directly on my face.
I lay there, on top of the Legendary Sannin, with a pornographic novel covering my eyes.
Silence.
"..." Kurenai looked like she wanted to cast a Genjutsu on herself to forget this.
"..." Naruto's jaw was on the floor. "Hinata! You just took down the Pervy Sage!"
Jiraiya blinked. He looked at me lying on top of him. He looked at his torn vest.
Then, a massive grin spread across his face.
"Oho!" Jiraiya laughed. "Aggressive! I like it! You have excellent taste in literature, young lady!"
I snatched the book off my face and scrambled backward, crawling rapidly away like a crab.
"I am sorry! The fish! It attacked me!" I babbled, clutching the book to my chest without realizing what it was.
[Ding!]
[Achievement Unlocked: "The Sage's Downfall." You have tackled a Sannin and stolen his manuscript.]
[Reward: 1,000 Shy Points.]
[System Note: You are technically holding the unreleased draft. That book is worth millions of Ryo.]
I looked down at the book in my hands. I read the first sentence on the page.
"The kunoichi's wet uniform clung to her like a second skin as she whispered..."
"Eeep!" I threw the book as far as I could. It splashed into the river.
"Nooooo!" Jiraiya screamed, diving into the water after his masterpiece. "My draft! My royalties!"
He emerged a second later, sputtering, holding the soggy book. He looked at me with tragic eyes. "You... you monster! Do you know how long it took me to write that scene?!"
"I am sorry!" I bowed so low my head hit the dirt.
Kurenai sighed, rubbing her temples. "Lord Jiraiya, perhaps it is best if we train separately."
"Nonsense!" Jiraiya wrung out his book. "This girl... she has potential. Not for ninjutsu, maybe. But she has a natural talent for creating 'situations'. Naruto! We shall train here! I want to observe this... phenomenon."
Naruto cheered. "Yeah! Hinata, you can train with us!"
I looked at Kurenai. She looked at me with pity.
"Very well," Kurenai said. "But Hinata, stay in the shallow end."
............…
The afternoon turned into a bizarre mix of serious training and slapstick comedy.
Naruto was trying to learn how to Summon Toads. He was jumping around, yelling, and biting his thumb.
I was trying to meditate on a rock.
Jiraiya was "supervising," which mostly involved him peeking at Kurenai (who effortlessly blocked his view with Genjutsu trees) and taking notes whenever I moved.
"Okay, Naruto!" Jiraiya yelled. "Focus your chakra! Imagine the toad! Be the toad!"
"Summoning Jutsu!" Naruto slammed his hand on the water.
Poof.
A tadpole appeared.
"Damn it!" Naruto yelled.
"Focus!" Jiraiya scolded. "You need more chakra! Use the red chakra!"
I watched them, fascinated. Naruto was working so hard.
"Hinata," Jiraiya said, suddenly appearing next to my rock.
I jumped. "Y-Yes, Lord Jiraiya?"
"You like him, don't you?" He pointed at Naruto.
My face exploded into color. "I... I... he is... I admire his... nindo..."
"Heh," Jiraiya chuckled. "You are terrible at lying. But listen, kid. If you want to catch his attention, you need to be bolder. That little stunt with Neji? The nosebleed thing? That was gold. Do that."
"I can't do that on command!" I whispered frantically. "It was an accident!"
"Accidents are just opportunities you didn't plan for," Jiraiya said sagely. "Watch this."
Jiraiya walked over to the water. "Hey, Naruto! Watch me! I will show you the pinnacle of water control!"
Jiraiya stepped onto the water. He began to run. He was fast.
"Cool!" Naruto yelled.
Jiraiya looked back at me and winked. "Check this out."
He was showing off. For me? To teach me?
[System Alert: The Sage is challenging the System. He is trying to be cooler than the chaos. Challenge Accepted.]
[Activating Environment Hazard: "The Unexpected Geyser."]
As Jiraiya ran across the center of the pool, a natural pressure buildup in the underground spring released.
WOOSH.
A jet of water shot up directly under Jiraiya.
It hit him right between the legs.
"GYAHHH!"
Jiraiya was launched into the air. He flew higher than the waterfall. He flailed like a ragdoll.
"Pervy Sage!" Naruto screamed.
Jiraiya came crashing down. But he didn't land in the water. He landed in the branches of a tall tree on the bank.
He hung there, upside down, by his ankle. His red vest flopped over his face.
"I... I meant to do that!" Jiraiya's muffled voice called out. "It is... an aerial surveillance technique!"
I stared at him.
[Ding!]
[Passive Assist: You have helped the Sage reach new heights.]
[Reward: 200 Shy Points.]
Kurenai walked over to me. "Hinata. I think we are done for the day. This environment is becoming... unstable."
"I agree," I whispered.
"Wait!" Naruto ran over to me, soaking wet. "Hinata, you are leaving already? We haven't even sparred!"
"I think... Lord Jiraiya needs medical attention," I said, pointing at the dangling Sannin.
"He is fine," Naruto dismissed. "But hey, are you hungry? Since you ruined his book, he is probably going to make us pay for dinner, but I have a coupon for ramen!"
I looked at Naruto. He was smiling. He wasn't afraid of the chaos around me. He just rolled with it.
"I... I would like ramen," I said softly.
"Awesome!" Naruto grabbed my hand.
[System Alert: Hand Holding Detected. Checking for Superglue status... Negative. You are safe. For now.]
I breathed a sigh of relief.
"Let me just get Pervy Sage down," Naruto said. He picked up a rock and threw it at the tree.
Bonk.
.....
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