Sabse zyada dard tab hota hai…
jab tumhara sapna tumse zabardasti cheen liya jaata hai.
Jab main ek baar aur repeat karne ke baare mein soch rahi thi, tab maine apni maa aur didi ko baat karte hue suna.
Wo keh rahi thi,
"Drishya ko kahaan admission dilayenge?"
"Uske sirf 81% hain."
"Agar college mein admission nahi mila to uska future kya hoga?"
"Hum cooperative college mein nahi bhej sakte."
You know, unki baatein practical thi… par mere liye wo bahut painful thi.
Phir maine suna — Guruvayoorappan College ke liye 1 lakh rupees management seat ki baat ho rahi thi.
Agle din maa ne mujhe bola,
"Beta, maine apni gold chain bech kar 1 lakh arrange kar liya hai. Kal college chalna hai."
Mujhe pata tha meri maa kitni mehnat se wo chain sambhaal kar rakhi thi. Main kuch bol hi nahi paayi. Maine apni ichha daba di aur bas kaha,
"Ok ma."
College jaakar fees bhar di.
Ghar wale khush the. Unhe lag raha tha meri life set ho gayi.
Lekin main…
Main apne room mein gayi. Darwaza band kiya. Light band ki. Fan full speed par chala diya. Kone mein baith kar phoot-phoot kar royi.
Meri aankhon se aansu baarish ki tarah gir rahe the. Mera dil literally toot raha tha.
Maine apni NEET ki book uthayi. Aansu us par gir gaye. Maine us book ko hug kiya… jaise apne sapne ko pakad rahi hoon.
Us raat main NEET book ko gale laga kar so gayi.
Roz raat main roti thi… aur subah sabke saamne normal ban kar aa jaati thi.
Ek din main aur control nahi kar paayi. Maine maa ke saamne ro kar kaha,
"Ma mujhe degree nahi karni… mujhe NEET repeat karna hai."
Maa ne mujhe hug kiya aur bola,
"Beta pehle degree complete karo. Uske baad repeat kar lena. Tab tumhare paas ek backup hoga."
Maine zoology choose ki — yeh soch kar ki human body se related rahegi.
Us waqt mujhe bilkul idea nahi tha…
Degree life mere liye sirf padhai nahi… balki meri mental health ka sabse bada test banne wali thi.