Mizuna stood there, watching the two idiots playing human Jenga.
Hiruzen Sarutobi was obviously too engrossed in his "Wondrous Adventure" to notice Mizuna's presence.
Danzo Shimura, on the other hand, had turned beet red. He had definitely spotted Mizuna, but he was desperately forcing himself not to make eye contact, pretending he was invisible.
"Danzo! Just a little bit higher! Almost there! I can almost see it!" Hiruzen whispered excitedly.
Danzo stayed silent, but the shame in his eyes reached a whole new level.
Even so, Danzo gritted his teeth and pushed upward, trying to give Hiruzen that extra inch of elevation. After all, they grew up together. Bros help bros, even if it's cringe.
"Oh! Oh! OH!! NICE!" (Note: Reference to Joseph Joestar)
Hiruzen crossed his arms in an 'X' shape, signaling his extreme excitement. He looked as satisfied as if he'd just eaten a slice of Aunt Susan's homemade apple pie.
"Damn it! Hiruzen! Can you stop wiggling? I'm gonna fall!" Danzo shouted from below.
"Sorry, Danzo. I got too excited. Don't worry, I'll switch with you in a sec," Hiruzen apologized with his hands clasped together.
"Get lost! Look if you want to look! I'm not as degenerate as you!" Danzo roared, his face turning a darker shade of red.
"Thanks then, bro!"
Hiruzen gave a shameless thumbs-up.
Danzo: "......"
Hiruzen didn't waste any more time. He pressed his eye against the peephole, and a vast landscape of paradise unfolded before him.
"Holy crap! That one is so white! That one is huge! That skin is flawless! Wait, that pear-shaped figure... isn't that Big Sis Haru from the Yamanaka Flower Shop? Sis Haru has such a nice smile, I didn't know her body was also this..."
Just as Hiruzen was getting into the zone, two women suddenly entered his field of vision.
"Wait, why does this woman have a mole next to her butt? And her body shape looks super familiar... The one next to her looks familiar too? She has a mole on her collarbone..." Hiruzen muttered in confusion.
"Oi! Hiruzen, are you done yet? I can't hold on much longer!" Danzo was sweating buckets, his legs trembling. He was running out of stamina.
"Almost done, Danzo. It's just... there are two people who feel extremely familiar..." Hiruzen observed intently.
Danzo was mentally cursing a thousand storms. I'm dying down here, and you're busy recognizing acquaintances?!
Mizuna watched the two clowns from the side, shaking his head.
"I can't believe the sinister, scheming Danzo Shimura and the future Third Hokage Hiruzen Sarutobi were such goofballs when they were kids! You really can't judge a book by its cover..."
Before Mizuna could finish his thought, a high-pitched screech erupted from Hiruzen.
"THAT'S MY MOM?!!!!"
Hiruzen let out a sound like a deflating kettle.
"What? Hiruzen, you're peeping on Auntie in the public bath?"
Danzo looked up at his best friend in disbelief.
Hiruzen looked down at Danzo. Seeing Danzo's expression shift from shock to the look one gives a disgusting pervert, Hiruzen panicked.
"Wait! Danzo! Listen to me! It's not what it looks like!" Hiruzen stammered.
"Hiruzen?"
Inside the bathhouse, Hanako Sarutobi heard her son's voice. She followed the sound to a small hole in the wall, and lo and behold, there was her precious son, Hiruzen Sarutobi.
"Hiruzen Sarutobi! You better not let me catch you! Or you're gonna get it!" Hanako roared, charging out of the bath.
Hearing Hanako's scream, the other women in the bathhouse realized what was happening. They grabbed towels to cover themselves and started screaming, "Pervert!"
"Mom! Let me explain! It's not what you think!" Hiruzen shouted.
"Hiruzen?" Another voice, filled with disbelief, rang out.
"Mom?"
This voice was terrifyingly familiar to Danzo. Was that his mother, Anna Shimura?
"Danzo?!"
The shocked cry definitely belonged to Anna Shimura. She couldn't believe her usually honest and serious son would do something like this.
Danzo finally processed the situation. The woman inside with Auntie Sarutobi was none other than his own mother!
Connecting the dots with what Hiruzen just said, Danzo turned as red as a boiled crab.
"FCK! Hiruzen Sarutobi! You bastard! You were peeping on my MOM?! I'm gonna kill you!"
Danzo threw Hiruzen onto the ground. He straddled him and started throwing hands, punching Hiruzen left and right.
"Danzo! Wait! Let me explain! I didn't know Auntie came to the bath with my mom today! How is this my fault?!" Hiruzen blocked his face while trying to reason.
"Old Dog Hiruzen! It's too late for talk! Die!"
"Yamete! Yamete Kudasai! Danzo!"
The two rolled around on the ground, brawling.
Mizuna stood a bit further away and couldn't hear the details clearly. He just heard "Mom," "Die," and assumed they were fighting over whose turn it was to look.
Mizuna stepped forward, intending to break up the fight. We're all bros here, no need to fight over small stuff. Just drill another hole and watch together.
Mizuna raised his hand.
"Hey, guys..."
Before Mizuna could finish his sentence...
Suddenly, a horde of women charged out of the bathhouse screaming "Catch the pervert!" They were armed to the teeth with wooden buckets, brooms, and mops, charging straight at Hiruzen and Danzo.
Hanako was leading the charge, swinging a long mop and landing several solid hits on Hiruzen.
The two boys, who were just fighting to the death, instantly formed a truce and sprinted away in perfect synchronization.
Mizuna stood there, hand frozen in mid-air, extremely awkward.
What was I trying to do just now...
Seeing that Hiruzen and Danzo had escaped, the angry mob turned their attention to Mizuna, whose hand was still raised in a suspicious greeting gesture.
Mizuna stared at them. They stared at Mizuna.
"Hello, big sisters and aunties..."
Mizuna greeted them politely.
One second later.
"WHY ARE YOU CHASING ME?! I LITERALLY DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!"
Mizuna sprinted for his life, gasping for air, pursued by a legion of armed women.
As he rounded a corner, he was suddenly yanked into a dark alleyway.
A hand clamped over his mouth. Mizuna sensed danger, thinking an enemy ninja had infiltrated the village. He was about to summon his sword from the System...
"Shhh!"
Hiruzen put a finger to his lips, signaling for quiet.
Seeing it was Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dumb, Mizuna relaxed. He slapped Hiruzen's hand away.
Catching his breath, he glared at the two of them.
"I just wanted to break up the fight! Why did I get dragged into your perverted mess?!"
"Hah?! We needed you to break it up? We were just playing around, right Danzo?" Hiruzen turned to Danzo.
Danzo exploded.
"Get lost! Hiruzen Sarutobi! I haven't settled the score with you for peeping on my mom yet!"
"Danzo, I told you I didn't mean to! It's not like I wanted to see Auntie!"
"Hiruzen Sarutobi, go to hell!"
The two started fighting again.
Mizuna watched them and shook his head helplessly.
After a while, they finally tired themselves out.
"Sorry about earlier. I was rude. I'm Hiruzen Sarutobi. My dream is to become the Hokage! This is my best friend Danzo Shimura. His dream is to become the Hokage's Assistant!" Hiruzen introduced himself with a grin.
"Shut up Hiruzen! I'm the one who's going to be Hokage!" Danzo shouted back.
Mizuna looked at the pair with amusement.
"I'm Uzumaki Mizuna. In the future, I want to change the Ninja World, marry a beautiful wife, and have a son and a daughter. That's all."
Hearing Mizuna's dream, the two felt it was both ordinary and weirdly great at the same time.
Just as the three were chatting, Mizuna's Kagura Mind's Eye sensed someone approaching.
Suddenly, a pair of large hands reached out to grab the three of them.
Mizuna instantly drew the Thousand Demon Daggers from the System, using the scabbard to slap the hands away. He stared at the intruder.
The man was wearing the standard Konoha uniform with the crest of the Police Force on his arm.
It was the Uchiha Police Force.
"Kid, not bad reflexes. Someone reported you for peeping. Come with us to the station."
......
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