The group arrived at the training grounds in the back hills of Konoha.
"Brother Tobirama! Teach me Ninjutsu, hurry!" Mizuna asked with a face full of innocence.
Tobirama was thrilled to hear this.
"Alright, I'll start with something simple! How about Mutually Multiplying Explosive Tags?"
Everyone fell silent again.
"No, Tobirama! That is a Forbidden Jutsu! That is absolutely not suitable for a twelve-year-old!" Hashirama scolded sternly.
Of course, his authority would have been more convincing if he weren't currently shoving food into his mouth like a starving chipmunk.
"But! Anija! This is..."
Before Tobirama could finish, Hashirama retorted with a mouthful of rice.
"To-bi-wama! I am da Ho-ka-ge!"
As he spoke, he unleashed Rice Style: Scatter Shot Jutsu, spraying grains of rice everywhere.
Looking at his brilliant-yet-idiotic big brother and the spray of partially chewed food, Tobirama chose silence. He felt that if he kept arguing, his IQ would drop permanently.
Mizuna wiped the sweat from his forehead. "So... are you teaching me or not?"
Tobirama snapped back to reality and turned to Mizuna.
"Fine. Mizuna, I'll teach you a B-Rank Jutsu first: Water Dragon Bullet."
"Holy crap! The Water Dragon Bullet? Doesn't that require like, 44 hand signs? How am I supposed to memorize that?" Mizuna panicked internally.
"Watch closely," Tobirama said.
He wove the signs in one smooth motion. He used exactly three signs.
"Water Style: Water Dragon Bullet!"
A massive dragon made of water surged from behind Tobirama and smashed into a wooden training dummy. It didn't just obliterate the dummy; it snapped several trees behind it and left a massive crater in the ground.
Watching Tobirama's speed and power, Mizuna finally remembered.
Bruh! I almost forgot this guy is a Grandmaster of Water Style. He hacked the system to use only three signs!
"Come on, Mizuna. Give it a try," Tobirama said with a smile.
Mizuna stared blankly.
"Three-sign Water Dragon? Me???"
Helpless. Just a massive, capitalized HELPLESS.
Seeing Mizuna's confused face, Tobirama realized his mistake.
Right... starting with the three-sign shortcut might be impossible for a beginner, Tobirama thought.
"Okay, I'll teach you the standard version. We start with the full 44 signs!" Tobirama said calmly.
Mizuna had no idea that he was about to enter a world of pain.
Three hours later...
"I can't... I'm dead..." Mizuna collapsed on the ground, exhausted.
Tobirama looked at him and shook his head.
"Mizuna! This won't do! You can't learn Ninjutsu with that mindset."
Mizuna wanted to cry. He wanted to go back in time three hours and slap himself for asking Tobirama to teach him. This was torture!
He turned his head and looked at Hashirama, who was sitting between Mito and Madara, giggling like a fool.
I really want to be like my Brother-in-law... just clap my hands together and shout 'Wood Style' and everything works...
Madara, who had just finished his lunch, seemed to notice Mizuna's eyes begging for help. He walked over.
"Senju Tobirama, you're genuinely useless. Let me do it," Madara said calmly.
To Mizuna, these ordinary words sounded like the voice of an angel.
Big Bro Madara! I knew you loved me the most! Mizuna thought, moved to tears. ＜(ToT)＞
Madara felt a bit awkward seeing the intense heat in Mizuna's gaze.
Since when did this kid look at me with such passion?
"Hmph! Naturally evil Uchiha Madara! Do you think you can teach any better?! If you can teach him, I, Senju Tobirama, will eat sht right here on the spot!" Tobirama roared in anger.
"Good! You said it, Senju Tobirama. Don't back out." Madara looked at him with a cold sneer.
"A Senju never goes back on his word! Stop yapping and start!"
Why was Tobirama so confident? Because if he, the Water Style Grandmaster, couldn't teach the kid, there was no way a Fire Style user could do it.
Tobirama sat down next to Hashirama to watch the show.
"Mizuna, gather your Chakra in your throat. Then, weave the signs with me: Rat - Ox - Dog - Horse - Monkey - Boar - Tiger."
Mizuna listened, gathered the Chakra, and mimicked the signs.
"Rat - Ox - Dog - Horse - Monkey - Boar - Tiger."
"Fire Style: Majestic Destroyer Flame!"
Instantly, a sea of flames erupted from Madara's mouth, turning a massive swath of the forest into ash.
"Fire Style: Majestic Destroyer Flame!" Mizuna shouted.
A split second later, a wave of fire spewed from Mizuna's mouth. It was about 20% the size of Madara's—which, considering Madara's power, was still absolutely massive for a beginner.
Madara nodded internally.
Mizuna has talent. It was definitely that white-haired freak's fault for teaching him wrong.
Tobirama, however, was stunned.
Oh no. I'm the clown.
Tobirama's expression twisted.
"Impossible! That's impossible! Why couldn't he use my Water Style?!"
Suddenly, Tobirama thought of a possibility. He pulled a piece of Chakra Induction Paper from his vest and used Flying Raijin to teleport instantly next to Mizuna.
"Mizuna! Channel some Chakra into this paper! Quickly!"
Tobirama was clearly panicking.
"Okay!" Mizuna, still catching his breath, did as he was told.
The paper reacted instantly. Parts of it wrinkled (Lightning), crumbled (Earth), split (Wind), and burned (Fire).
But it did not get wet. No Water affinity.
"You... You've got to be kidding me!"
Tobirama's face became abstract art. His eyes lost their light but were wide open. His jaw hit the floor.
"Hahahaha! Senju Tobirama! Time to fulfill your promise!" Madara laughed loudly.
"You! You!" Tobirama gritted his teeth.
"Alright, alright. Big Bro Madara, don't bully Brother Tobirama. He's had a hard day. Brother Tobirama, come eat lunch first. The food is getting cold," Mizuna said, stepping in like a savior.
Tobirama, who still hadn't eaten, looked at Mizuna like he was a literal angel descended from heaven.
Only Mizuna cares about me!
"Hmph..." Madara scoffed and looked away.
Tobirama picked up his bento box and opened the lid. Instantly, a pungent smell wafted out.
"Do you guys smell something?" Tobirama asked, confused.
Everyone else: "No. Smells fine to me."
"Maybe my nose is broken..."
Tobirama found it strange. It definitely smelled. He looked at the brown, lumpy paste covering the rice.
Why does it look a bit like... poop?
This was Tobirama's inner thought. Of course, he couldn't say it out loud. How could he suspect the angelic Mizuna?
Without hesitating further, Tobirama took a bite.
The flavor hit his tongue. Astringent. Bitter. Salty. And... earthy.
Tobirama's face turned green.
But, trying to be brave, he took a second bite just to be sure.
"This... This is..." Tobirama stammered in disbelief. His hands started trembling. Cold sweat drenched his back.
"SHT!"
Tobirama roared. His eyes rolled into the back of his head, and he collapsed onto the ground, foaming at the mouth.
The Grandmaster of Water Style. The future Second Hokage. He had just acquired a stain on his reputation that could never be washed away: The Man Who Ate Night Soil.
Hashirama and Mito sighed helplessly and carried the unconscious Tobirama to the hospital.
Madara looked at Mizuna, realized exactly what had happened, laughed heartily, and excused himself to go handle some "Uchiha business."
Mizuna was left alone, walking toward the Senju compound.
"That's right! You White-Haired Mid-Tier Scrub! All According to Keikaku!"
Mizuna made a scheming face.
[Ding! Congratulations Host on completing the prank on Tobirama. Rewards issued. Current Dignity Points: 1250.]
"Aiyaya~ Don't blame me, Tobirama. After all, you're the one who kills Izuna in the future. It's only fair that the points to save him come out of your pocket~"
Mizuna glanced at the Thousand Demon Daggers sitting in his system inventory.
"Taking this sword out is going to be tricky. It doesn't make sense for me to just have it. I need a cover story..."
Just as Mizuna was brainstorming, a noise from the wall of the women's bathhouse caught his attention.
He saw two kids, about his age, standing on each other's shoulders to peek over the wall.
"Danzo! boost me up a bit higher! I can't see inside the hole!"
"Hiruzen! If you ask me to do this again, I'm ending our friendship!"
Mizuna: "......"
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