"Congratulations…"
The professor's voice rang out as he applauded the top scorers in our history exam. "Let's give a round of applause to those who achieved the highest scores."
Talia clapped along with the class, her smile warm and polite, even genuine on the surface. But deep down, something felt off an unfamiliar tug in her chest she couldn't name.
What is this feeling? she wondered, heart pounding. Is it jealousy? Disappointment? Guilt… or something else entirely?
She forced herself to keep clapping, but her mind replayed her own performance, her place in the rankings and the uncomfortable realization that she wasn't among the top three.
For the first time in a while, pride and satisfaction felt tangled with confusion, leaving her unsettled in a way she hadn't expected.
Talia had always been among the highest scorers in history class, and that alone had been enough to keep her completely focused on her studies. Hearing her name called had become a quiet affirmation of her effort a small moment of pride she had grown to rely on.
But this time… it didn't happen.
Just three mistakes. Only three. Yet those tiny errors made her feel small, almost invisible, as if all her hard work had slipped through her fingers. The pride she usually carried now felt hollow, replaced by a confusing mix of disappointment, self-doubt, and a pang of something she couldn't quite name.
"So sudden… and new," I murmured, my voice barely above a whisper.
I had never felt emotions like this before. I had always seen myself as competing against my own limits, not against others. And yet now… this strange, unsettling feeling made me uneasy.
Confused. No… more than that.
I was afraid of myself. Am I becoming the very thing I've always hated?
"This… can't be happening, right?" I whispered to myself, my hands trembling slightly.
I've always been happy for others. I celebrate my own achievements, no matter how small. So why… why am I feeling this way now?
This isn't what I'm supposed to feel. I should be proud of them. I should be a supportive friend, a grateful student. Not… this. Not this knot of jealousy and guilt twisting in my chest.
I stared at my test paper, my eyes fixated on the score. Those three mistakes stared back at me the tiny errors that somehow made me feel small, weak, and completely out of place.
Stupid… I muttered under my breath. So simple. So easy… and I still messed it up.
I blamed only myself. I knew, deep down, that no one else was at fault. I was the only one responsible for these ridiculous mistakes and it hurt more than I expected.
Little did Talia know, this feeling would slowly consume her and it would be up to her alone to decide how she would face it: would she remain true to herself, or slowly allow it to take her completely?