"Talia Louise B. Cojuangco," the teacher called during attendance.
"Present, sir," I replied, raising my hand and forcing my voice to sound steady even as my chest tightened with nerves.
As I lowered my hand, my eyes swept across the classroom. Some classmates leaned toward each other, whispering as soft laughter slipped between them, sharp enough to make me smile awkwardly in return. Others were already buried in their notebooks or endlessly scrolling through their phones, completely absorbed in their own worlds.
It was the same every semester, familiar faces, familiar chatter, familiar pressure. The weight of expectation settled on my shoulders like a heavy coat I couldn't take off. I straightened my back, pretending I wasn't affected, even though every part of me felt like I was already drowning.
After the first subject, I began gathering my things to transfer seats for the next class, following the new seating plan. Just as I stood up, someone suddenly wrapped their arms around me from behind.
"Tal!" Princess squeaked, hugging me tightly. "I missed you so much!"
I smiled back, as I always did. But deep inside, I couldn't help wondering if those words were truly meant or if they were just another part of the routine everyone seemed to follow.
"I thought you were going to be absent," I said as I moved toward my chair.
Princess rolled her eyes.
"Really? You're being too much," she replied sarcastically before walking back to her proper seat.
I watched her go, my smile slowly fading as I settled into mine.
Time passed, and soon the period ended. It was already lunchtime. I stayed in my seat, waiting for my friends, or rather, the people I was supposed to call friends.
My thoughts drifted elsewhere. I wondered what course I should take in college, where I should enroll, and whether I should finally leave this school behind. I had always wanted to move to another city, to start somewhere new, somewhere no one knew me only for my grades.
"Tal! Let's eat!" Princess called out.
She was already walking toward the cafeteria with the others, laughter echoing down the hallway. I hesitated for a moment before standing up, forcing myself to follow.
Because sometimes, being alone felt easier but being left behind felt worse.
The cafeteria was packed with students lining up to buy food. The noise of voices and clattering trays filled the air as I quietly ate my lunch. Beside me, Princess couldn't stop talking about her new boyfriend.
Of course, I couldn't help but give her a judgmental look. She talked about guys so often that sometimes I wondered if she actually had a boyfriend or if she was just collecting crushes.
She noticed my stare and laughed, completely unbothered, while I shook my head and returned to my food.
"My Christmas and New Year were really fun…" Princess said, beaming.
"Well, not for me," I replied, shrugging.
Suddenly, Palina piped up, "Mine either. I just rotted in my bed and played video games the whole time."
I laughed a little at that.
"But mine was better," Princess continued, her eyes sparkling. "My suitor from Providence Integrated School actually visited my house and asked my mom to take me out!" She looked so proud and happy that I couldn't help but raise an eyebrow.
"I thought you liked Lance," I said between bites.
She chuckled. "Yes… I like both of them."
I froze, momentarily stunned, while the rest of the table erupted in laughter.
"You should take notes from me, you know prioritizing myself, eh?" she shot back, rolling her eyes at my smirk.
"Oh, is that so, Chez? Hm?" she teased, leaning closer.
"Shh… shut it," I muttered, lowering our heads as I quickly looked back and froze for a moment.
Across the cafeteria, I spotted an old classmate… someone who happened to be Chez's classmate this year.
"You talk too loud," I whispered, "his classmate will hear you. And besides, I only told you I liked him back in elementary school not now."
"Ah, I see but they won't know unless I shout his full name," she said proudly.
I let out a frustrated sigh. "You know what? I'm never trusting you again with my old secrets," I said, crossing my arms.
She took a sip of her drink, smiling over the rim of the cup. "But you still admired him, didn't you, Tal?"
"Well, I won't lie my old self might've had a thing for him," I admitted. "He's tall, fair-skinned, has those squinty eyes, smart, dresses really well… and honestly, he looks like a Korean idol or something." I shrugged. "But now? No, I don't."
She looked at me for a moment, clearly unconvinced.
"You're lying," she said quietly. "To us and especially to yourself."
I frowned.
"It's obvious you like him," she continued. "You're just too afraid to admit it."
Her words lingered longer than I expected, settling somewhere deep in my chest uncomfortable, unwanted, and strangely familiar.
"You know what? Let's just go back," I said eagerly, my voice a little too loud.
As we stepped out of the cafeteria, I glanced back and froze.
He was walking toward us.
My heart skipped a beat. I quickly turned back to my classmates, trying to mask my reaction.
"We should hurry, or we'll be late!" I shouted, immediately breaking into a run, my feet pounding the floor as I dragged them along behind me.
Back inside, I was gasping for breath, my chest still racing from the run. A chill crawled over me, and I realized just how cold the room was. My cardigan the one I had brought wasn't with me. Of course, Princess had borrowed it.
I rushed to the door, calling out, my voice shivering along with my body. "Princess! My cardigan!"
She appeared with Palina, her eyes sparkling with mischief, clearly not even hearing a word I said.
I watched her as she strolled past, ignoring me completely.
I shivered harder and muttered under my breath, Seriously?
A moment after they went back, Princess said something that made my eyes widen.
"Oh… I see. His name is Chez Villanueva," she said teasingly.
I turned to Palina, shocked. "How… how did you know?"
Princess and I had walked to their room earlier and asked his classmates for his name. They had told us calmly, Palina explained.
"What?!" I exclaimed, my voice rising in disbelief.
They even seemed curious why we were asking, so I quickly improvised. "Someone was asking for it," I said.
Princess smirked at me. "And that someone was you, Talia Cojuangco."
"No way! You said that?!" I shouted, unable to hide my shock. "I don't believe anything you just said!"
Princess chuckled proudly, a teasing glint in her eyes. I forced a nervous laugh in return, my mind racing. I hope he doesn't know about this…
I tried to convince myself they hadn't done it or at least, that it wasn't possible. But a small part of me couldn't help wondering if they had.