The sunlight poured gently through the tall windows, dust motes dancing lazily in the golden light. Outside, a soft breeze made the branches sway, and the distant hum of city life mixed with the chirping of birds.
Lily sat on the old wooden bench in the garden, a warm cup of tea cradled in her hands.
A young girl stepped carefully onto the garden path, notebook in hand. She looked to be in her twenties, with sharp, thoughtful eyes that already seemed to weigh the world.
She stopped beside Lily and sighed.
"Grandma… it's… hard, you know?" the girl said quietly.
"Hard to find someone who… really loves only you. Everyone's distracted. Or… or just chasing something else. How did people like… you… ever find that?"
Lily smiled softly,
her fingers tracing the rim of her cup. There was a quietness in the girl's voice, a seriousness that reminded Lily of someone younger, but wise in her own way.
"Ah… my dear," Lily said gently.
"It's not easy. It never is. But… sometimes, it happens when you least expect it. It starts with a feeling… something you don't even know the name of at first."
She took a slow breath, looking past the girl at the soft sway of leaves.
"Let me tell you a story. My story. The very first time I… felt something like that."
And just like that, the past opened its doors.
---
It was my first day at university.
I was twenty, standing at the bus stop with my bag tight against my chest, watching the road with a nervous ache sitting low in my stomach.
Life felt… heavy already.
University was supposed to be a new beginning, but all I could think about was how hard things might be.
Would I be able to make friends?
Would I always be this quiet, this invisible?
Would I just sit alone, pretending I was fine?
Right then, my only hope was simple.
Please… let the bus not be crowded.
I wasn't good with crowds. I hated being pressed between strangers, hated how close people stood, how little space there was to breathe.
Then I saw it.
The bus.Already full.
My heart sank.
I hesitated for half a second, then forced myself to run. If I missed it, I'd be late on my very first day — and that felt worse than the fear twisting inside me.
I climbed on, coins shaking slightly in my hand, and immediately felt it.
Too many people.
Too close.
I squeezed my way inside, murmuring soft apologies, my shoulders brushing against strangers. This was normal — I knew that. Public buses were always like this.
But I hated it.
I pulled my bag tighter and lowered my gaze.
Don't look around.
Just stand still.
Don't think.
Someone shifted beside me. I tensed automatically, expecting the usual — a careless brush, someone standing too close, someone not noticing where their body was.
But instead…
Space.
Just a little.
Enough that my shoulders relaxed without me realizing it.
I blinked, confused.
The person standing next to me had moved. Not away completely — that wasn't possible — but just enough to give me room to breathe.
I didn't see his face.
I didn't look up.
I only felt the difference.
Why…?
People usually didn't do that. Especially not men. Most didn't even notice. Some noticed too much.
But this person was… careful.
I remember that, more than anything.
I didn't notice how handsome he was. Honestly… I barely saw his face. What caught me, what made my chest flutter in a way I had never felt before… was the way he behaved. Respectful. Gentle. Kind.
Then the bus jolted sharply. My balance wobbled, my bag swung wildly, and panic clawed up my throat.
Oh no… oh no… not now… everyone is looking… why did I pick this stupid spot… don't fall don't fall don't fall…
I flailed slightly, trying to steady myself, but my foot slipped, and my entire body leaned dangerously to the side. My brain screamed in chaos, imagining all the worst things that could happen.
And then… his hand was there. Strong, steady, but gentle. It grabbed my wrist and kept me from falling.
"Careful,"
he said softly, his voice calm but firm.
I froze. My heart was racing, my mind a tangled mess of thoughts.
I wanted to say something. Say… thank you… thank you… oh no why can't I speak…
Instead, all that escaped me was a faint squeak. My cheeks flared red, and my hands trembled. I wanted to pull back, but his hand didn't let go—it was just… supportive.
What is this feeling? I wondered, panic and something strange twisting in my chest. Why does it feel… different… so warm…?
I couldn't look at him.
My eyes darted to the floor, my head burning. My brain was screaming nonsense:
Act normal. Don't stare. Don't faint. Don't…
But even as I panicked and overthought every tiny detail, I couldn't help noticing… he smelled like baby cologne. And somehow… that tiny, gentle act of holding my hand… it felt… safe. Comforting.
And just like that… my chest thumped in a way I had never felt before, and I realized
something had just begun inside me.
Something I couldn't name, something new, something…terrifyingly sweet.
---
I sipped my tea and looked at the girl, smiling softly.
"You see… my dear… feelings don't always make sense at first. Sometimes… it's just a spark. A small, strange flutter in your chest. Something you've never felt before, and you don't know what it is."
I said gently, smiling, hiding the secret I carried all these years.
"Some stories… are meant to be remembered, not named."
I chuckled softly, a faint ache in my chest.
"But I never forgot him. Not once. And that… was the very first time I felt my heart… stir."
Lia was quiet for a moment.Then she asked, very carefully,
"Grandma… was that your first love?"
Lily didn't answer immediately.
She smiled — not shy, not sad — just thoughtful.
"Yes," she said softly. "It was."
Lia's eyes widened. "But… it was such a small thing. He just gave you space. Everyone should do that. Why did that become love for you?"
Lily nodded slowly, as if she had waited years for someone to ask her that question.
She looked down at her hands.
"You see, Lia… I didn't grow up feeling chosen. Or noticed. Or handled gently. I didn't know what love looked like — not the quiet kind."
She lifted her gaze again.
"So when someone did something kind… without asking for anything back… my heart didn't know how to name it."
She continued slowly.
"I thought about everything except the truth."
She leaned back slightly, remembering.
"I thought about how my heart suddenly beat faster.About how my face felt hot for no reason.About how I replayed that moment again and again, asking myself why it mattered so much."
She shook her head gently.
"I kept telling myself, This isn't love. You're just overthinking.
But love doesn't always announce itself, Lia."
She smiled faintly.
"That was my first love… because it was the first time my heart reacted before my mind could stop it."
Lia swallowed.
She looked at Lia warmly.
"My first love wasn't loud. It wasn't dramatic.
It was quiet. Confusing. And a little embarrassing."She laughed softly.
"I didn't fall in love because of his face.
I fell in love because of how safe I felt — before I even knew safety could feel like that."
Lia leaned closer, unable to hide her curiosity.
"What happened next, Grandma?" she asked softly. "After that moment on the bus?"
Lily smiled, a little embarrassed.
"That's when my thoughts completely lost control," she said.
---
The bus slowed down slightly, nothing unusual.I was still trying to calm my breathing when I felt it—
His hand was still holding mine.
Not tightly. Not possessively. Just enough to keep me steady.
Why is he still holding my hand?
Is the bus stopping? Is it not? Should I move? Should I say something?
My mind ran in circles.
Say thank you. Just say thank you.One word. One normal word.
But my throat closed up.
What if my voice came out strange?
What if he thought I was weird for overthinking something so small?
And then—suddenly—he moved.
Before I understood what was happening, he gently released my hand. Slowly. Carefully. Like he didn't want me to lose balance again.
He didn't explain.
He simply pointed quietly to the metal bar beside me, making sure I had something to hold.
Then… he stepped off the bus.
Just like that.
No warning.
No last look.
No chance for me to say anything.
I stood there, frozen.
Wait—what?
He's gone?
I didn't even—
The doors closed.
My heart thudded, not fast, just confused.And then I noticed it.
Through the bus window.The university gate.
…That's my stop.
Panic hit all at once.
"Oh no—no no no—"
I squeezed forward, muttering apologies, bumping shoulders,nearly losing my balance again. Someone sighed behind me. Someone
else muttered something annoyed.
I barely heard them.
I jumped off the bus at the last second, landing awkwardly, my bag swinging wildly.
I stood there for a moment.Breathe. You're fine. That was normal.
And then I saw him again.
He was a few steps ahead, walking calmly, like nothing unusual had happened.
We were going the same direction.
It's just coincidence, I told myself quickly.
People walk. This is a university. Obviously people go the same way.
I wasn't following him.I was just… walking.
Then suddenly He stopped near the gate, turning to talk to a friend who had approached him. They laughed easily, comfortably.
Oh, I thought. He's friendly.
He talks easily. Not like me.
I adjusted my bag strap, about to look away—and then I glanced back.At the exact same moment, he turned his head.
Our eyes met.
My heart dropped.
This time, I really saw him.Not just a tall figure.Not just the boy who helped me.
His face.
He was… handsome. Soft, but striking. Calm eyes. A kind expression that matched the way he had acted on the bus.
Oh.
That single thought echoed in my head.My chest thumped hard, once. Heavy.
Reality rushed back all at once.
I looked away immediately, heat flooding my face.
Why did I look?
That was too long. That was definitely too long.
I speed-walked forward, pretending I was extremely focused on
getting to class.
Don't trip. Don't turn around. Please don't turn around.
My heart refused to settle.I had finally seen the face of the boy who helped me…and somehow, that made everything feel more real.
Lily paused, then smiled softly at Lia.
"I knew this meant nothing," she said.
"I just thought… Oh. He goes to the same university."
She shook her head gently.
"I didn't know his name. I didn't know him... I didn't even know if I'd see him again."
She looked up at the sky.
"I only knew that something small had followed me inside that gate… without me realizing it."
END OF CHAPTER 1