At the reception desk, the same clerk—a woman with thick glasses and now a nameplate that read "Elara"—stared in disbelief as they approached. Her professional smile faltered, then vanished completely when her eyes landed on the elegant, obsidian-black core Mordecai placed on the counter with a soft, definitive clink, next to the bulging sack of slime cores.
"You…" she stammered, pushing her glasses up her nose. "You cleared the Slime Dungeon and discovered the Source of the Deep Tremors? Are you for real!? That was… that was a Guildmaster-tier emergency posting!"
"Yes," Mordecai said, his voice devoid of triumph. It was the tone of a man submitting an expense report. "Now, about the reward. I need to see the breakdown."
Elara blinked. "B-breakdown?"
"The monetary allocation. Are there deductions for guild membership fees? Processing charges? Is the bounty on a 'Skeletal Archivist'—" he tapped the dark core, "—taxed differently than a standard 'Skeleton King' under the Royal Adventuring Tax Act, subsection 4-C? I require a fully itemized receipt. In triplicate, if your bureaucracy is as byzantine as it seems." (If you're wondering , he used the systenm to take a look at the bureaucracy rules of this world on the walk of return from the dungeon.)
As he spoke, his flat cap was slightly askew from the dungeon dive, a lock of his messy black hair falling over his mismatched eyes (one violet, one a startlingly clear blue in the guild's lamplight). He leaned forward slightly on the counter, his posture radiating not arrogance, but the intense, dangerous focus of a forensic accountant who has just found a discrepancy in the millions.
[PASSIVE CHARM: EDGELORD RIZZ - ACTIVATED]
[TARGET: ELARA (GUILD RECEPTIONIST)]
[STATUS: CRITICAL HIT. REASONING OVERRIDE IN PROGRESS.]
Elara's breath hitched. To her, this wasn't a broke, dusty man arguing over coins. This was a Tortured Financial Prince. A man so burdened by the dark weight of fiscal responsibility that he carried the very ledgers of hell in his soul. The way he said 'byzantine bureaucracy'… it was raw.
"H-he's… he's talking about tax codes," she whispered to herself, a flush creeping up her neck. "So… so forbidden. So… knowledgeable!"
"Hey! You! Harpy!"
Pyra's voice shattered the moment like a hammer through stained glass. She slammed her hands on the counter, her twin-tails practically crackling with visible heat. "Stop drooling over my— over my servant's boring administrative queries and do your job! Calculate the reward! Now!" She said, her voice filled with... jealousy, of course.
[SYSTEM WARNING, TSUNDERE JEALOUSY. MORE JEALOUSY MEANS IMMINENT DEATH OF GUILD GIRL.]
Elara jumped, flustered, but her eyes kept darting back to Mordecai. "O-of course! Right away!" She fumbled with a large ledger, her fingers trembling. "L-let's see… Slime Cores, Blue-Grade, quantity 247… at 5 silver each… that's 1,235 silver, or 123 gold, 5 silver." She began counting out coins from a heavy lockbox.
"And the core?" Mordecai prompted, his gaze unwavering.
Elara picked up the Skeletal Archivist's core, her expert eye scanning it. The energy within was profound, orderly, and infinitely deep. A shiver of genuine awe ran through her. "This… this is an artifact of incredible power. The mana signature is… it's like nothing on record. It's not a Skeleton King. It's something… older. Colder. More administrative."
"Then its value should be commensurate," Mordecai stated, thinking that he was about to get A LOT of money.
"Value…" Elara's face fell into a mask of professional regret. "I'm… I'm so sorry. There's no precedent. There's no listed bounty for a 'Skeletal Archivist' in the Guild Bestiary. It doesn't exist in our classification system. According to Guild Regulation 881, clause 12: 'Compensation for unregistered entities is subject to a review committee, with estimated processing time of six to eight business months.'"
Mordecai remained stunned, with a look of confusion mixed with annoyance.
"Eh? Are you serious?! We almost died!" He exclaimed, slamming his fits on the counter just like Pyroetta did.
She looked up at him with genuine sympathy, now mixed with her infatuation. "I could… I could put in a special request for you? I could champion your case before the board? It might take some… private discussions…" she added, her voice dropping to a hopeful whisper.
Pyra's eye twitched. A visible tic. Steam began to rise from her hair. "PRIVATE DISCUSSIONS?! OVER MY DEAD, INCINERATED BODY, YOU COMMON PAPER-PUSHER!"
Mordecai ignored the impending volcanic eruption. His mind was already performing a cost-benefit analysis. Six to eight months of committee meetings versus immediate, liquid capital. The core was power, but power was useless if you starved to death waiting for a bureaucracy to acknowledge it.
"Fine," he said, cutting through Pyra's sputtering rage. "Keep the core in the guild vault as a… deposit. Log it as 'Mysterious High-Value Dungeon Core, Sub-Type: Bureaucratic.' I expect a formal appraisal receipt and a storage security waiver. For now, just pay out the slime bounty. I'll come to take it as soon as I gather some information."
Elara looked heartbroken, as if he'd rejected a marriage proposal. "A-are you sure? I could really—"
"The slime bounty. Now." Mordecai's voice didn't rise, but it acquired the finality of a judge's gavel. His eyes glowed of a deep purple for an instant, enough to activate [EDGELORD RIZZ]
Defeated, Elara finished counting. "123 gold, 5 silver. Here you are." She pushed the heavy pouch across the counter, her fingers brushing his for a moment too long.
Pyra snatched the pouch before Mordecai could, clutching it to her chest like a holy relic he had just desecrated. "MINE! I mean—OURS! As the ranking noble, I shall hold the funds for safekeeping! To prevent… commoners from getting ideas!"
Mordecai didn't argue. He had what he needed: operating capital. "Also, both of us require lodging."
"AH!" Pyroetta exclaimed.
In that moment, her face become red just like a tomato.
Million of dirty thoughts echoed in her mind.
"Oh... lodging... so we're gonna sleep... together..." She mumbled to herself, thinking that nobody was listening to her. "...We're gonna do... bad things..." without realizing, some saliva was drooling from her mouth.
'Disgusting.' Mordecai thought, while Elara pretended not to hear anything.
"Two rooms. Adjoining is acceptable, but with separate, lockable doors. For one month." Mordecai added.
Pyroetta's mood died immediately after hearing his words. She crossed her arms and an expression of delusion appeared on her face. "Tch." She muttered, looking away. 'To think I was about to give you my first time. You completely wasted your chance.'
Elara's eyes widened. A month? In the guild's tavern, the "Sleeping Basilisk," that was a small fortune. "T-that will be 40 gold for the month, for two standard rooms…"
"Done." Mordecai gestured to Pyra, who reluctantly fished out the coins with a grimace that could curdle milk.
As they turned to leave, Elara called out, a last, desperate bid. "If you need… anything… to make your stay more comfortable… my shift ends at sundown…"
Pyra didn't turn around. A small, controlled explosion of fire burst from her heel, scorching a perfect, furious circle into the oak floorboards. She then stormed off, Mordecai following at his usual, unhurried pace.
[FEEDBACK FROM THE HIGHER REALMS]
LedgerGoblin_88: "I came for necromancy. I stayed for the itemized receipt in triplicate. Mordecai asking about tax brackets after clearing a Guildmaster-tier emergency is the most unhinged power move I've ever seen. This isn't a power fantasy. This is an audit fantasy."
Tsundere_Safety_Commission: "'Two rooms. Lockable doors.' That single line just killed 90% of harem protagonists across the multiverse. Pyra's soul visibly left her body. Incredible restraint. 10/10 emotional damage."
BureaucracyIsTheFinalBoss: "The fact that the Skeleton Archivist's core has no bounty because it isn't classified is the most realistic worldbuilding I've seen in years. I've worked in government. This gave me flashbacks."
ForbiddenKnowledgeEnjoyer: "Elara being charmed by tax code literacy is so cursed it loops back to genius. 'Tortured Financial Prince' is now canon in my heart. EDGELORD RIZZ activating over paperwork is peak satire."
NoRomanceNoPeace: "I love how Mordecai doesn't flirt, doesn't tease, doesn't react. The world keeps projecting romance onto him and he keeps responding with logistics. This is the anti-harem protagonist I didn't know I needed."
GuildClerkApologist: "As a former retail worker: Elara's reaction is 100% accurate. Anyone who confidently understands systems, rules, and consequences instantly becomes terrifyingly attractive. This chapter is dangerous."
MinMaxMyLife: "He didn't rage. He didn't threaten. He didn't negotiate emotionally. He optimized. Deposited the core, secured capital, booked lodging, moved on. Mordecai isn't playing an RPG. He's running a startup."
PyraDefenseForce:"Pyra thinking she was 'about to give her first time' only to get hit with 'two separate rooms' is the hardest tsundere whiplash I've ever experienced. I laughed. I cried. I feared for the guild girl's life."
SystemObserver_Δ: "Notice how the System doesn't reward romance, only compliance and efficiency. Mordecai isn't breaking the rules. He's exploiting the process. That's why he's dangerous."
AccountingLich: "If this ends with Mordecai filing a tax return for the underworld, I will rate this 5/5 and recommend it to my manager."