EXT. PARK AREA NEAR SCHUYLKILL RIVER — DAY
The chase has reached its undignified conclusion in a patch of scorched, yellowing grass beside the river. RICKETY CRICKET is face-down in the dirt, his arms pinned behind his back by the heavy, iron-grip of INSPECTOR ZENIGATA. The bag of "McPoyle-brand" curds has burst, scattering white, rubbery lumps across the gravel like a trail of culinary failures.
Zenigata is breathing hard, his iconic trench coat stained with Philly road-grime and sweat. He clicks a pair of high-tensile steel handcuffs onto Cricket's skeletal wrists with a sound of absolute finality.
ZENIGATA
Finally! A lead! You've got the look of a man who's seen the inside of a hundred Interpol holding cells, you scrawny rat!
CRICKET (muffled, mouth full of grass)
I've seen the inside of a septic tank in North Philly, man! Is this about the lemon? I'll give it back! It was a gift from a dog!
ZENIGATA (heaving Cricket upward by his collar)
Don't lie to me! You're part of the operation! You're the scout! I saw you communicating with those vehicles on the expressway! Now, where is Lupin? Where is the Master Thief?!
INT. ZENIGATA'S RENTAL CAR (DODGE NEON) — LATER
The interior of the car is a sterile, plastic box that Zenigata has attempted to turn into a mobile command center. He has pinned a grainy photo of Lupin to the sun visor and laid out a series of Philly maps across the dashboard.
Cricket is slumped in the passenger seat, vibrating with a mixture of PCP withdrawal and genuine confusion. He is staring at Zenigata's handcuffs as if they were a new, terrifying species of jewelry.
ZENIGATA (slamming his fist onto the steering wheel)
Talk! I want the names of the co-conspirators! I want the location of the safe! I know you're running a multi-layered scam!
CRICKET (twitching, eyes glazed)
Scams? Oh, man, you don't even know. It's all scams. It's demons and fruit and babies, man!
ZENIGATA (leaning in, eyes narrowed)
Demons? Babies? Is that a code for the explosives? A 'Baby' for the thermite?
CRICKET No, like, a real baby! In a dumpster! We didn't find it, though. And the fruit... the Devil Fruit, brother. I slay krakens! I slay 'em with my bare hands! But then the notebook demons show up and start writing names... and then Maria breaks! You gotta watch out for Maria! She's a lady, but she's full of asbestos!
ZENIGATA
(scribbling furiously in a notepad)
'Devil Fruit'... 'Asbestos Lady'... 'The Kraken'... This is high-level misdirection! You're good, miscreant. You're trying to drown me in surrealist nonsense to mask the primary objective! But I know the objective is the McPoyle Safe!
CRICKET
Oh, the safe! Yeah, 'the Gang' is going for that. They're obsessed with it. They lost their 'umbilical cord of security' or whatever Dennis was screaming about. They're going to hit the McPoyles tonight.
ZENIGATA (freezing, his pen hovering over the page)
'The Gang.' You mean Lupin's crew? The red-jacketed fox and his gunmen?
CRICKET Sure, whatever. The tall guy, the bird-girl, the guy who looks like a T-Rex... they're all in. I was supposed to be the revolutionary, but then I got freed by gravity7. I've seen the 'Shin-Geggy,' man! I've seen the light in the milk8!
ZENIGATA (grabbing Cricket by the shoulders and shaking him violently)
GET UP! You're taking me to these 'McPoyles'! If Lupin is making a move on a safe in a basement, he's more desperate than I thought!
CRICKET
Wait, are you a hallucination or a bill collector? Because if you're a bill collector, I already told the hospital I died of a lung-mold incident.
ZENIGATA (ignoring him, slamming the car into gear)
I am Justice! And Justice doesn't have time for your drug-fueled performance art! We're going to the perimeter!
EXT. PHILADELPHIA STREETS — DAY
The Dodge Neon screeches away from the curb, trailing a cloud of blue smoke. Inside, Zenigata is shouting into a radio that isn't connected to anything, while Cricket idly tries to see if the handcuffs are edible.
ZENIGATA
LUPIN! I'M COMING FOR YOU! AND I'VE GOT YOUR TOP LIEUTENANT IN CUSTODY!
CRICKET (to himself, whispering)
I'm a lieutenant... that's a rank. I'm doing great. Maybe he'll give me a cracker.
CUT TO BLACK.
CUT TO: INT. PADDY'S PUB – FRANK'S OFFICE
FRANK is sitting at the bar, his face illuminated by the harsh blue light of a laptop. He is wearing a headset with the microphone jammed directly against his lips, his breathing heavy and rhythmic.
FRANK Lupin! You there?! Listen to me! The McPoyle Safe has 'Vibration Sensors'! I heard about 'em at a warehouse fire back in '84! If you touch it, it sprays milk-gas! It's pressurized, Lupin! You gotta use the 'Toe-Knife' method! You gotta jam it in the hinge!
LUPIN (V.O. via laptop)(the sound of static) Frank... please! My ears are ringing! Can we talk about the 'milk-gas' when we actually get there?!
FRANK(screaming into the mic) THE TOE-KNIFE IS THE KEY, LUPIN! DON'T NEGLECT THE HINGE! USE THE TOE-KNIFE!
CUT TO BLACK.