The headline was written in stylized, bold, aggressive script:
WELCOME TO THE [THE SLAP SYSTEM]
Leon froze, then burst into a fit of nervous laughter. "The Slap System? Oh, come on! Is this the universe's way of punishing me for all the times I muted my mom on Zoom?"
He read the System details, rendered in an utterly serious, corporate font, making the contents even funnier.
System Name: THE SLAP SYSTEM
Worth: 25,000 RSP (Permanent Buy Price)
"Twenty-five thousand?! This is the most valuable piece of aggressive choreography in the multiverse?!"
But his laughter died when he scrolled down to the Quest list. The comedy tone of the System's name did not extend to its objectives.
MANDATORY WEEKLY QUESTS
(RSP Reward per Quest: 500)
1. The Hand of Justice: Slap 10 Men.
2. The Hand of Equality: Slap 5 Women.
3. The Hand of Terror: Slap 20 Children.
4. The Hand of Vengeance: Slap your Landlord's Aunt and her Daughter.
5. Slap Back (Male): Be Slapped by 10 Men.
6. Slap Back (Female): Be Slapped by 5 Women.
7. Slap Back (Child): Be Slapped by 20 Children.
8. Slap Back (Landlord): Be Slapped by your Landlord's Aunt and her Daughter.
9. Romantic Aggression: Slap your Crush (works at the coffee shop).
10. Mutual Understanding: Be Slapped by your Crush (works at the coffee shop).
Total Potential RSP: 5000
Leon's jaw dropped so low he was afraid he'd sprain it. His eyes darted between Quest 3 and Quest 4.
"Twenty children?! No! I'd get arrested before I even reached child number five! And the Landlord's Aunt? That old woman is practically a professional wrestler! She'll actually kill me! I saw her bench-press a washing machine once!"
He paced his tiny apartment, running his hands through his hair. The window followed him.
"And wait, wait, wait… Quest 9 and 10! The coffee shop! You want me to slap my crush, Maya, who is a sweet angel and the only reason I tolerate mornings?! And then you want her to slap me back?! That's not 'Mutual Understanding,' that's a restraining order with a dash of deep, personal shame!"
He scrolled further down, trying to find a loophole, and saw the infamous "Skill Shop."
SKILL SHOP (The Slap System)
Palm Hardening (Passive): 500 RSP
Perfect Wind-Up (Active): 750 RSP
...and 47 others...
Below that, a bright purple bar shimmered.
PROGRESS BAR: Purchasing systems at higher tiers gives a percentage discount based on your current Progress Bar accumulation.
Leon looked back at the Quests, then back at the RSP = 00 he had. He had to earn 500 RSP just to unlock Palm Hardening! He needed to successfully slap one person without being immediately dragged off by security.
He threw his hands up in utter surrender, yelling at the aggressive pink screen floating in his bedroom:
"What the hell?! What the fuck?! Landlord old woman kill me! You want me to slap my crush?! No-way!!"
He sank onto his bed, defeated, staring at the Slap System. This wasn't a hero's journey; it was a checklist for guaranteed social ruin and potential jail time.
"I need a lawyer before I need a Slap Skill," he groaned, realizing his week was now devoted to carefully calculating the risk-reward ratio of assaulting his neighbors.