"Thank fucking god...! I finally made it... I can feel it, the secret ending is going to be mine soon enough!" Finn said it while grinning nonstop.
"My favorite waifu Sakura is the best of all! After enduring all of the bad and average endings, I can get to the secret ending where I could crack her non-stop! Hahahahaha!"
When he was about to press the enter key on his keyboard, his heart immediately stopped working and gave up on his stupid decision. "N-No...!"
Finn Fillian, a no-life gamer, was slumped over his gaming keyboard with his face pressed against the Enter key. The reason for death wasn't very dramatic.
Even though he expected his death to be from getting hit by Truck-kun or maybe at least saving a girl from getting run over. But the truth is he spends seventy-two hours of non-stop playing Eternal Hearts Academy, the newest romance simulator that has taken over what was left of his social life.
He thought something very dumb before his consciousness faded away. "At least... I finally got Sakura's secret ending... still... it's fucking worth it to see my waifu smile happily like that..."
"I hope that reincarnation is a thing, and I want to meet Sakura in my next life..."
"Please..."
...
The first thing Finn saw when he opened his eyes again was that he wasn't looking at his ceiling fan anymore. There was sky instead, blue and vast and impossibly clear, with something that looked suspiciously like islands floating in it.
Real landmasses, just floating in the air like someone forgot to put gravity on them. He blinked, and the islands that floated didn't go away.
"Okay," Finn said to himself, his voice sounding rough and strange. "Either I'm having the strangest dream of my life, or those energy drinks had something really illegal in them."
"But... wait...!"
He got up slowly, and that's when the second wave of wrongness hit him. His body felt younger and more energetic, different from his previous body, which never worked out a single bit.
He looked at his hands and saw that they were smaller, smoother, and had no snack dust stains on them, which had been there for a long time. His clothes were also different, and they were a rough linen shirt and pants that looked like they had come straight out of a medieval fantasy story.
Finn said, "No way," and a cold realization crept up his spine. "No fucking way! This isn't happening! This is the kind of stupid isekai plot I make fun of on the internet."
At that point, something fell on his chest with a soft, wet plop. Finn looked down and saw what could only be called a blob.
A small, see-through blue blob about the size of a tennis ball, with two dot-like eyes that somehow showed deep disappointment. The blob said something.
It said, "Congratulations, Finn Fillian," in a voice that sounded like a teenage girl who had to read customer service scripts for minimum wage. "You've come back to life in the magical world of Arclavia. This time, try not to be a total loser who doesn't have friends and lovers."
Finn looked at the blob. The blob didn't blink and stared back.
Finn screamed while trying to cover himself, "Ahh! Don't eat me, demon lord!"
The blob bounced a little, like it was sighing. "I'm not going to eat you, and I'm not the demon lord! Don't address me the same as the slime you always watched."
"Oh... thank God."
"Anyway, you were dead in your previous life. But now you're alive again, in a different world with a different body and a lack of romantic experience that is frankly depressing."
"I..." Finn began, but then he stopped. His brain was working very hard to figure things out, but it was failing miserably. "What's that?"
"Let me explain this to you in a way that even someone with your history can understand," the blob said, its voice dripping with sarcasm. "You died alone in your apartment after playing a dating simulator for three days straight."
"The universe, in its infinite wisdom or perhaps as a cosmic joke, gave you a second chance."
"You've been reincarnated in Arclavia with a brand new body, a clean slate, and absolutely zero excuse to FUCK this up again."
Finn's mouth opened and closed a few times, but no sound came out. Finally, he was able to say, "You're... talking. I bet that you're not a normal slime!"
"Normal slime, I am!" the creature said, sounding hurt. "I'm Lumia, and I'm the physical manifestation of your cheat ability."
"You know, the overpowered system that's supposed to help you navigate this new world? Except in your case, it's less about world domination and more about teaching you how to actually interact with women."
"Hold on, what?"
Lumia bounced off his chest and hung in the air at eye level. This shouldn't have been possible, but it seemed like physics worked differently here. "Your cheat ability is called the Affinity System."
"It's pretty simple, even for you. You build relationships with women, and your stats go up."
"The stronger the emotional bond, the more powerful you become. Each woman has a different affinity type that boosts specific stats."
"Bravery types increase your strength, wisdom types boost your mana and intelligence, grace types improve your agility, and so on."
Finn's face started to get hot. "So my cheat power is a harem system?"
"Wow, you figured it out faster than I thought you would. Well, I should've known better, knowing you finished all of the love simulator games." Lumia said this with a tone that clearly indicated it was not meant as a compliment. "But don't get any strange ideas."
"This isn't about seducing every woman you meet. The system only works when there are real emotional connections, like friendship, trust, respect, and shared experiences. You know, these are all the things that you can only gain from talking to people in video games."
"Excuse you!" Finn said, his anger growing as he felt embarrassed. "I do well with women. I've finished every route in the hardest love simulator game, which is the Eternal Hearts Academy, even the secret ones!"
"Right," Lumia said in a flat tone. "And how many real girlfriends did you have in your last life?"
Finn opened his mouth to say something, but then he closed it again. The silence lasted too long.
"That's what I thought," Lumia kept saying. "You spent twenty-three years of your life learning how to pick the right dialogue options in games where the girls are literally programmed to like you no matter what."
"Real life and this fantasy world aren't like that, genius. Real people have complicated feelings and their own goals, and they definitely don't have affection meters floating over their heads."
"Okay, first of all, you don't have to be so mean," Finn said as he stood up.
He was surprised that he was able to stay calm even though he was so upset. "And second, if you're supposed to be my cheat ability, shouldn't you help me more?"
"I'm helping you by being honest," Lumia said, doing a little flip in the air. "You died alone, Finn."
"You had no friends at your funeral because you didn't have any."
"You had no girlfriend crying over your grave because you never worked up the courage to talk to women."
"Your biggest achievement was getting a high score in a video game that nobody else cares about. If I'm not harsh with you now, you'll just make the same mistakes again in this life!"