"So... Oozuka-san, why are you in love with Amaori-san?"
Asakura Mio adjusted the pink glasses on the bridge of her nose, her gaze, filled with pure inquiry, peering through the lenses at Oozuka Mai.
"Put another way, what is it about Renako that you like?"
Mai seemed caught off guard by her directness, pausing for a moment.
Sunlight filtered through the leaves, dancing on her golden hair.
After a brief silence, a complicated, almost self-deprecating smile slowly curved her lips as she offered a rather convoluted answer:
"I love everything about Renako. Especially—the fact that she doesn't feel obliged to like... even the parts of myself that I can't stand."
Mio's slender eyebrows immediately knitted together in a frown.
She chewed on the words, trying to untangle their logic, and tentatively summarized, her tone uncertain.
"So, you mean... you fell for Amaori Renako precisely because she doesn't like the you of right now? Why? I would have thought... that Oozuka-san would be the type who's quite 'full of herself'."
Realizing her poor choice of words, Mio paused, then quickly added an explanation, afraid of being misunderstood.
"Please don't misunderstand! Here, 'full of herself' just means being very satisfied and confident with who you are right now!"
Mai didn't seem angered by the slightly rude assumption.
Still, a faint, almost imperceptible shadow seemed to pass through her beautiful eyes. She spoke softly, her voice a little lower than usual:
"Because... truthfully, I don't really want anyone to like me the way I am now..."
On the surface, Mio remained still, quietly observing her. But her 'yuri-brain' CPU was whirring at an unprecedented speed, desperately trying to parse Mai's deeply contradictory and psychologically dense statement.
'I don't want' — indicates a subjective desire against it, a resistance, even a refusal.
'For others to like' — the object points to other people, rejecting the emotional projection of others.
'The me like this now' — Key phrase! What does this 'me' refer to?
Was it the 'Ojousama Oozuka Mai' revered by everyone at school, the picture of perfection?
No... that was an image she herself deliberately crafted and maintained. If she rejected that, it didn't make logical sense.
Then... this 'me like this' must refer to something more abstract, more core to her self-perception?
Mio's thoughts raced ahead, even instantly invoking Sigmund Freud's structural model of the psyche...
'The Id' — subconscious desires? She probably has those for Renako, a biological instinct, surely.
'The Ego' — dealing with reality? If the 'Ego' can't accept the 'current me,' it suggests intense internal conflict, no balance found.
'The Superego' — idealized perfection? But if pursuing the 'Superego,' she should suppress the 'Id's liking, not fret over 'whether others like [her]'.
Conclusion: Oozuka-san's statement doesn't fit any typical state within the three-part psyche... Could this be... a clinical abnormality? Schizophrenia? Multiple personalities?
After this high-speed mental detour, Mio looked up, her expression utterly serious, even a little cautious as she carefully asked:
"Um... should I help you contact a doctor?"
"What do you mean?"
A visible sweatdrop seemed to appear on Mai's head. Mio immediately let out a dry laugh and waved her hands.
"Haha, just kidding! Don't mind me!"
Of course, it was nonsense! But it at least proved one thing—Oozuka-san's feelings for Renako were far from the simple, pure thing they appeared on the surface.
There were definitely more complex, deeper elements mixed in!
She reined in her joking expression, tilted her head slightly, and tentatively offered a new speculation in her own understanding:
"Are you, in reality... just looking for someone 'in front of whom you can feel at ease showing your imperfect side'?"
"And, by chance, Amaori-san, in some way, unconsciously touched upon that side of you... So, that's why you say you 'love' her?"
Her voice was soft, even hesitant, but the words were like a precise needle, gently piercing through a certain facade.
Mai visibly froze upon hearing this.
She looked at Mio, a flash of astonishment in her jade-green eyes, followed by a slowly spreading, complicated emotion.
Then, she suddenly lowered her head, her shoulders trembling slightly as she let out a very soft, helpless chuckle.
"Heh... Asakura-san, your perspective on things is always unexpectedly peculiar, isn't it?"
Seeing she seemed to be on the right track, Mio grew a bit bolder and continued.
"Probably because I'm a pure bystander, so I can see things from outside the box. Well then, a new question arises—"
She shifted her tack, her gaze sharpening a little, as if she'd found the key logical point.
"Koto Satsuki... she should have known this 'side' of you for a long time too, right?"
"By that logic, why isn't it Koto-san, who understands you and might even comprehend you better, that you love? Why is it Amaori-san, who appeared later?"
She was still more partial to SatsukiMai, and couldn't help but promote its superiority a little to the person involved.
Mai didn't react much to Mio directly naming Koto Satsuki, seemingly accepting that the other knew about their relationship. She thought for a moment before replying.
"Satsuki? Well... if your theory holds, it's probably because I've known Satsuki for far too long. It was so early back then... that I perhaps hadn't started feeling so... 'constrained.'"
"Many habits and patterns of interaction were set in stone very early on. Over time, they just became the natural state of things."
"I see—"
Mio drew out the sound, adjusted her glasses, and went straight for the heart of the matter:
"Then—doesn't that mean, if you start dating Amaori-san now, there will eventually come a day when you gradually get used to the pattern of interaction with her too?"
"And then, similarly, because you've 'gotten used to it,' you won't be able to naturally show that 'real, imperfect self' in front of her anymore?"
"When that time comes, will you feel constrained again, and instinctively start looking for the next 'other person' who feels 'new' and allows you to show your 'imperfections'?"
She paused, watching the subtle change in Mai's expression, and delivered her final conclusion.
"So, Oozuka-san, what you really should be considering isn't rushing to find yourself a 'temporary safe harbor' at all."
--+--
T/N: This fic will be upload 2 chaps a day until i say otherwise.