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Naruto: Oh, I'm quite sane

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The average realized release rate over the past 30 days is 14 chs / week.
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Synopsis
A scientist, beaten a cold from escaping the government could only die silently in a small alley. His final words? Why didn't they just offer more money??? His consciousness was then pulled and lured to another world by an entity called the 'assistant', into the body of Naruto. The assistant gives out missions he need to complete, but lacks one vital information about this new Naruto...he HATES being told what to do, so while he is given missions, he plots to remove this so called assistant from his mind. Now, follow this chaotic and mischievous boy as he wrecks havoc across the elemental nations! ------------------ Notes: He has watched Naruto, but he remembers almost nothing, so basically, all he knows is names of characters, possibly even forgetting their appearances. Will not affect plot!!!! For those who dislike system type novels, good for you, he does have a system, BUT, it will be gone very early on. If you want to know when? Uh, wait Also, I will DEFINITELY change some plot, for example, NPC A who dies in Naruto will probably be alive in my series, won't say who lives n who dies, but yh, there will def be changes Lastly, this is generally comedy, I will do my best to follow the general plot of the original story, and NO, this isn't a complete takeover, this is a fusion of minds between Naruto and the scientist, so even if one side is more dominant, it is more like living two different lives in this case
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Chapter 1 - New life

How did this all begin? It started with a boy, lost and aimless as he wandered around the city with a dead expression. He looked up at the storming rain clouds, that relentlessly pelted him with rain that soaked his entire body.

Tired and hungry, he slumped against a brick wall, huddling himself in a fetal position.

Beside him, was a soaked newspaper, with the same boy on it. A bright smile, holding an award as people interviewed him.

[Science prodigy, creator of numerous medicine at the age of 13]

*Cough*

He covered his mouth as he coughed, and when he removed his hand, it was covered in blood that was slowly seeping down, mixing with the rain.

"I regret it..." He muttered

He scrunched up the newspaper beside him

"I regret...not bombing the governments with more f**king explosives" He uttered as the light slowly left his eyes.

A child prodigy from a young age, created numerous medicine, but also dangerous chemicals in secret. Why is such a prodigy in such a state?

His immense potential was sought by the government, who wished to monopolise it and create weapons for war. He refused it all, no amount of wealth could sway him...so what couldn't be obtained, could only be destroyed.

"Why...Why didn't they just offer more money? I would have agreed..." He muttered

...Okay, wealth did sway him, just not enough was used...

As the light left his eyes, he heard a voice...

It was so warm, so beautiful...it told him...

'Wanna bomb more f**kers?'

His eyes watered as he reached out one hand into the sky

"I...do" 

Ah...what a warm embrace...he could feel a warm feeling 

*Bang*

"Ah, f**king h*ll!" He suddenly felt his body slam onto the ground, so he cursed instinctively.

But something was odd, the rain was gone, and it felt...warm? He looked around...

"Ah sh*t...I ended up in h*ll" He muttered as he stared at the small room, filled with worn out furniture. 

He was on the ground, seemingly after rolling off the bed. He scratched the back of his head, and realised his hair was much shorter.

But as he was thinking, numerous thoughts bombarded him. 

Pain, anger, all these negative emotions rose like a torrent, washing through him. The cold gazes of others, the constant disdain and outcast, he felt that he had just relived over a decade in the blink of an eye.

An orphan at birth, outcast by everyone. 

"Naruto, huh? What a...a...what the f**k man" As a respectable person who has read many mangas and watched all sorts of anime, how can he not know his situation?

And he knew it was no simple transmigration either, he actually relived an entire life, so rather than saying that he took over Naruto's body, it was more accurate to say that he awakened the memories of another life.

He knew the rough plot, he doesn't remember much, but he has a general idea of how things turn out. Since he knew the general idea...he's f**king panicking!

"Ah, which devilishly attractive voice sent me here, how dare you seduce and entice me with your delectable words" He scrambled his hair and groaned

*Ding*

"Huh?"

[Sup]

"Uh..." A screen appeared in front of him

"A system?"

[You read too much manga b*tch, I'm your personal assistant, in exchange for doing missions I assign, I give you rewards]

Naruto stared at the screen

"Hey...d-do you have a voice option that copies my original voice?" He asked

[Oh, so you prefer this?] A very attractive, male voice appeared in his head, sending a shiver down his spine

"Ooh yeah, that sounds half as good as my original voice, hearing it sounds quite therapeutic" He said as he hugged himself

[...narcissist]

Naruto coughed

"Ah, yeah, now say 'Let's blow up some sh*ts' for me" He said

[...System self-destructing in 10...9...8-]

"You ain't a system bud, you said it yourself"

[*Sigh*, you now inherit the body of Naruto, as for why I picked you...it seemed fun, entertain me, and I'll reward you, you can make your wishes come true...as long as you are able to entertain me]

"I see" He understood, it seems that a powerful being has taken interest in him, and saw him as a fun toy to play with.

However, since he can live again, and even possibly have his wish come true, how can he not feel happy...at least, that's what his impression seems to be. Deep in his heart, a brewing sense of anger was rising, but he covered it up completely.

[Alright, your first mission]

[Make an enormous ruckus in the village, so big that even the Anbu needs to step in]

[Reward: Minato's inheritance]

Seeing this mission, Naruto rubbed his chin as a sly smile rose in his face. His eyes curved into a crescent as a faint giggle left his mouth.

"A tough one, but if there's anything I am good at, it's making a ruckus" He opened the window and leapt out.

His body reacted out of reflex, letting him land safely on the other rooftop.

[Did you expect to be able to use the original body's reflexes?]

"It was a gamble, but I just love gambling, that is my ninja way" He licked his lips and crackled

[Hoh, what a fun ninja way, perhaps I should give you some cash to see you in debt after going to a casino]

"Or I'll win it big" Though he felt that it wasn't even a gamble that he could react as well as he did, after all, he isn't just someone from another world, he is also Naruto, be it his feelings, memories, or expeirences, they are now one.

Naruto checked his money pouch, there was hardly anything left inside. He looked around and landed in a small alley.

"If I remember correctly, the old man has a grandson who would pass around here" He waited by the end of the alley.

He stood there for nearly an hour until...

"Hahaha, I will definitely become Hokage when I-"

*Bang*

Naruto smacked the person talking to the ground, and dragged him into the alley...

As the Jinchuruki of the hidden leaf, he naturally has an Anbu supervising him at all time, so when the Anbu saw this...

'Th-This...was that Hiruzen's grandson!?' He couldn't believe it, earlier, he saw Naruto laughing to himself, the next moment, he was standing by an alley for nearly an hour.

Now, he kidnapped Konohamaru!?

In the alley, Naruto pressed a kunai to Konohamaru's neck with a wicked grin.

"Hey, I kidnapped you, what'ya gonna do?" He asked as he tapped his neck with the kunai, making the child shiver.

"M-My grandpa is the Hokage! You can't-"

"Ah, shhhhhh, don't say a word, this is a robbery, your grandpa has money, right? Write a letter saying you've been kidnapped, and to reclaim you, I demand a hundred thousand ryo" 

Anbu:.....

How is he supposed to report this? But this didn't matter, he had to step in. He appeared behind Naruto with a cold expression...

-Five minutes later-

"And that's the story, it was just a prank" Naruto was tied up in front of Hiruzen as he spoke, shrugging as if he did nothing wrong...

Hiruzen stared at Naruto in disbelief, he has constantly watched over Naruto using the telescope technique through his crystal ball, and knew how mischievous this boy is, but his actions still left him at a loss for words.

"You seem different" He said

"Different? Wha~t? No~...I hit my head this morning pretty hard, ever since then, I'm feeling much more irritable, my worn out house made me irritated, my empty wallet made me irritated, and seeing a rich kid swagger down the street also made me feel irritated" Naruto replied with a straight face, leaving Hiruzen at a further loss for words.

He shook his head and sighed as he stared at the child before him. Anger? Not so much, but guilt is something he did feel towards the boy who was supposed to be under his care. 

In the end, he gave Naruto a smile

"Make sure it doesn't happen again" He said warmly

"Sure~"

After that, Naruto was sent off...

[Mission completed, quite an interesting method, I was expecting something big, like bombing the town or something, but a promise is a promise, you forced an anbu to act]

[Obtained Minato's inheritance]

[Flying raijin jutsu full mastery]

[Hiraishin kunai]

"Oi, where's the rasengan?" 

[B*tch go learn that yourself, you watched the anime, so you know how to learn it]

"What a trash system"

[I'm not a system, I'm your personal assistant]

"Trash assistant" Naruto cursed, but inwardly, he was already very pleased with his newly learnt jutsu.

The Flying raijin, his father's signature ability that earned him the name of yellow flash. As for the rasengan, he also wanted to try learning that.

[By the way, you missed a day of school]

"...oh, well sh*t" His lips twitched

-Ichiraku ramen-

"Boss, the usual" Naruto placed a coupon on the table and said

"Hahaha, of course" Teuchi laughed as he made a bowl of ramen for Naruto

Naruto picked up a pair of chopsticks, and was about to dig in when he felt a cold gaze land on him from behind...

"Naruto, I hope you have a good explanation for why you weren't at school today" Iruka stood there with a dark smile

"Uh...I was speaking with the Hokage" Naruto replied

"You expect me to believe that?" Iruka pinched between his brows as he sat down beside Naruto, letting out a deep sigh as he ordered a bowl of ramen as well.

"Really, you can ask him" Naruto said as he began slurping up the ramen

Iruka lifted a brow, he wasn't going to ask Hiruzen over such simple matters.

"Naruto, I know that it's tough learning with...well, the pressure, but keep following your ninja way, I believe you can achieve your dream of becoming hokage" Iruka revealed a smile as he patted his chest.

Naruto turned to Iruka

"Iruka sensei, do you really believe I can become hokage?" He asked with glistening eyes

Seeing the hope in the eyes of this child, Iruka smiled warmly 

"Of course!"

Naruto felt that Iruka's belief was admirable, but ultimately, it was just empty words to try to cheer him up. Of course, he didn't really need to be cheered on for, since his desire to become Hakge has wavered after the memories fused.

'Are you kidding me? As if I'd want to work twenty four seven without rest, I'd rather be outside, blowing sh*t up!'

But he didn't say it either, as he had a thought. His recent actions must have seemed a little suspicious, so he wanted to at least act a bit more like the original Naruto to avoid suspicions.

Being a Jinchuruki was annoying enough, if he was suspected, then it'd just make the supervision on him even more strict.

[Here's a fun mission, smack Iruka's face and insult him for believing in you, I'll be generous with the reward]

[Reward: control over 1 tail form, demon fox cloak]

Naruto's eyes lit up, having control over Kurama's powers is indeed very generous, but how can he slap Iruka, and even insult him at this moment.

His mind raced, and something came to his mind

He stared at Iruka solemnly, then back at the ramen bowl as he ate silently.

"Huh, Naruto?" Noticing his sudden mood shift, Iruka asked out of concern

Naruto's hands trembled

"Iruka, if I become hokage...will the village people accept me?" He asked

!!!

Iruka was surprised that Naruto would ask this, he has always admired the position of hokage, so he thought Naruto wouldn't think that way.

"They will" He still replied firmly as to not hurt the boy's beliefs

"Is that a lie, Iruka sensei?" Naruto asked as he looked up at him with a lonely gaze

Iruka gulped, but he shook his head

"I will not lie, if you can become hokage, everyone will definitely accept you"

Naruto held a hand over his head with a confused and conflicted expression. He suddenly slammed his head onto the table, shocking Teuchi and Iruka, which the latter stood up and grabbed Naruto's shoulders to stop him.

However, seemingly out of instinct, Naruto's hands shot up and slapped Iruka's face.

"I-Iruka sensei" Naruto looked shocked by his own action

"I-It's fine" Iruka saw the guilt in his eyes and said, thinking that Naruto was probably just shocked that he suddenly grabbed him.

Naruto lowered his head

"It's just...people never seem to care about me...so I'm just confused, will becoming hokage really help me? Your words, when I think of it, it just felt so empty and pointless...I'm sorry Iruka sensei" Naruto said with a disheartened look

Iruka's heart twisted with guilt as he watched the child show such low self esteem. Even his dream seems to be crumbling before his very eyes...

The nine tail fox, Kurama...all because he bore the burden of it, he is treated like this. The incident all those years ago was something the villagers will never forget, nor will he...

Iruka also lost his parents in the nine tail attack, yet when he is faced with this boy, he feels no anger, only the sadness of watching this innocent child get persecuted by the village. He, who lost both his parents at birth, became the target of scorn.

*Bang*

Naruto suddenly picked up his bowl of ramen, finished it in one big gulp and placed the bowl down.

"Ah! Forget it, I'd rather not think about it, sensei, see you tomorrow" Naruto gave him a bright smile that looked a little forced before leaving.

Iruka watched him leave, sighing to himself as he finished his bowl of ramen.

But what he didn't know was, once Naruto's back was turned, he revealed a wicked smile, one that would make even villains shiver.

[You're lucky Iruka is a sentimental man, if it was anyone else, your pathetic acting skills would have been seen through] 

"Bah, who cares, give me the good stuff" Naruto chuckled like a drug addict 

[You're seriously...urgh, fine...]

[Mission complete: Obtained control over demon fox cloak, 1 tail]

Naruto smirked, knowledge surged into his mind, and he felt a special link form within him, a very weak line that connected him with something within the four symbol seal.

"How much control do I need to contact Kurama" Naruto asked

[Find out yourself, you lazy a*s brat]

"Tch, fine"

[By the way, the graduation test is coming up tomorrow, and I doubt Naruto has the ability to pass as he is now]

"...f**k"