Chapter 15: The Pattern
Day 45, and I arrived at exactly 6:58 AM like clockwork.
The office was still mostly empty—just security, a few janitors finishing overnight cleaning, and the hum of computers that never fully shut down.
I headed for the break room, ready to brew my usual Colombian roast.
The coffee was already made.
Fresh pot, steam still rising, and a yellow sticky note on the machine in handwriting I recognized.
Seemed like a Colombian day. - D
I stood there for a moment, coffee pot in one hand, sticky note in the other.
She made coffee. For me. At 6:30 in the morning.
The System activated automatically.
[RELATIONSHIP ANALYSIS: DONNA PAULSEN]
[GESTURE IDENTIFIED: THOUGHTFUL, PERSONAL, NON-STRATEGIC]
[ASSESSMENT: INTEREST CONFIRMED]
I dismissed the notification and poured a cup, smiling despite myself.
Day 46, I arrived with two cups of coffee.
One for me, one with a sticky note that said Seemed like you'd appreciate this.
I left it on Donna's desk at 7:15, before she arrived.
By 7:45, when she got in, I was already buried in case files at my desk.
My phone buzzed.
You're getting better at this. - D
I looked up. Donna was at her desk, holding the coffee cup, smiling in my direction.
I typed back.
Getting better at what?
Being genuine instead of strategic.
Is there a difference?
Three dots appeared, disappeared, appeared again.
With you? Not always. But I'm starting to see it more.
I stared at my phone, unsure how to respond to that.
Good, I finally typed.
Very good, she responded.
Day 47, we arrived at the coffee machine at the exact same time.
7:02 AM. Both of us reaching for the Colombian roast, both stopping when we realized the other was there.
Donna laughed first.
"We've created a pattern."
"Apparently."
"Are we having a coffee relationship?"
I considered that.
"Is that a thing?"
Donna's smile was warm and slightly mischievous.
"It is now."
She made the coffee. I got two cups. We stood in the break room for five minutes, talking about nothing important—Harvey's client from last night, Louis's new obsession with a securities case, the weather turning colder.
Normal conversation. Easy conversation.
The kind I never had with anyone else in this building.
When she left to set up Harvey's office for the day, I stayed behind with my coffee, and the System ran quiet calculations I didn't ask for.
[RELATIONSHIP PROGRESSION: POSITIVE]
[PATTERN ESTABLISHMENT: MUTUAL INTEREST CONFIRMED]
[RECOMMENDATION: FORMALIZE INTERACTION - REQUEST LUNCH OR DINNER]
The System's trying to help. That's... new.
Day 46 afternoon, I decided to act on it.
I'd spent three hours researching—not case law this time, but restaurants near Pearson Hardman that were nice without being intimidating. Found one: Lattanzi, Italian place, good reviews, quiet enough for conversation.
I prepared conversation topics. Memorized interesting anecdotes. Timed my approach for Donna's least-busy hour—2:30 PM, after Harvey's lunch meetings but before his afternoon court appearances.
I walked up to her desk with what I hoped was confident casualness.
"Donna, I was wondering if you'd like to—"
She cut me off.
"You're doing that thing."
I stopped mid-sentence.
"What thing?"
Donna leaned back in her chair, expression amused and knowing.
"The thing where you're being charming because you've calculated it's the optimal approach. Your voice goes half an octave deeper and you make eight percent more eye contact than normal conversation."
She measures my eye contact.
I was simultaneously impressed and mortified.
"You... that's very specific."
"I notice patterns. It's what I do."
She stood, walked around her desk, and crossed her arms—not hostile, just evaluating.
"Try again. But be you this time, not the version of you that thinks charm is a negotiation tactic."
I dropped the calculated confidence and felt my shoulders slump slightly.
"I wanted to ask you to lunch but I'm genuinely nervous about it, so I rehearsed the whole thing, which is apparently obvious, and now I'm making it worse by explaining it."
Donna laughed—genuine, warm, the kind of sound that made the entire office feel less suffocating.
"Much better. Yes. Thursday, twelve-thirty."
"Yes?"
"Did you want me to say no?"
"No, I just—you said yes."
"I did. Now go back to your desk before you overthink this and try to renegotiate the terms."
I went back to my desk.
Kyle Durant was watching from his cubicle with an expression somewhere between confusion and respect.
I ignored him and pulled up my case files, but my hands were shaking slightly.
She said yes. Because I stopped performing.
Day 48, Louis caught me leaving coffee on Donna's desk.
"Roden. My office. Now."
I followed him, already knowing what this was about.
Louis closed the door, turned to face me with an expression that was equal parts concern and exasperation.
"That's Harvey's secretary. You're playing with fire."
"I'm bringing someone coffee. That's not illegal."
"It's not about legal. It's about politics. Harvey is territorial about Donna."
I kept my voice level.
"They're not together."
"Doesn't matter. She's his secret weapon—the person who makes him effective, keeps him organized, knows his schedule better than he does. Harvey's possessive of that relationship even if it's not romantic."
Louis sat on the edge of his desk, genuinely worried.
"You pursuing her, he'll take as a move against him. Another challenge to his authority after you beat Mike in the mock trial."
Is that what this is? Another power play?
The System offered analysis I didn't want.
[RELATIONSHIP CLASSIFICATION: STRATEGIC VS. GENUINE]
[QUERY: PRIMARY MOTIVATION FOR PURSUING DONNA PAULSEN]
[CALCULATING...]
I dismissed it angrily.
"What if I'm not pursuing her strategically? What if I just like her?"
Louis stared at me like I'd spoken a foreign language.
"Does that distinction matter?"
And in that moment, I understood the fundamental difference between Louis and me.
To Louis, everything was strategy. Every relationship, every gesture, every conversation calculated for maximum advantage.
That's why he's brilliant and lonely.
"Yes, Louis. It matters."
He shook his head slowly.
"Your funeral. Don't say I didn't warn you."
I left his office and went back to work, but the question lingered.
Am I pursuing Donna because I genuinely like her, or because she's Harvey's secretary and some part of me wants to prove I can?
[SYSTEM ANALYSIS ATTEMPTING...]
[ERROR: EMOTIONAL MOTIVATIONS UNCLEAR]
[RECOMMENDATION: SELF-EXAMINATION REQUIRED]
Helpful as always.
Thursday morning, I stood in front of my closet for ten minutes.
The System offered no input—this wasn't case preparation, wasn't negotiation strategy, wasn't anything it had frameworks for.
Just a date. With someone I actually wanted to impress.
I grabbed my phone and texted Donna.
Is this a lunch-lunch or a work-lunch?
Three dots appeared immediately.
What do YOU want it to be?
I stared at the message.
She's forcing me to commit. To be honest instead of strategic.
I typed slowly.
Lunch-lunch. If that's okay.
Three dots appeared, disappeared, appeared again.
The longest thirty seconds of my week.
Finally:
That's very okay. See you at 12:30.
I smiled at my phone like an idiot.
The System had no framework for the feeling in my chest—something warm and nervous and completely unpredictable.
Maybe that's the point.
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