Vroom!
The motorcycle roared as it readied to blitz like we were a country a way. Unnecessary as we were a walkable distance!
His hands were too preoccupied with his sword which was now trice it's size from before. It stood on the motorcycle's seat with the blade held upright above its head like it was about to split the red sea.
"You slept with his sister?! How does that even work?!"
"Hell does that have to do with you!"
An image created itself in my mind, a fish and a cat—Hell like I'm imagining that!
Quickly erased that thought as I tried to rock my head for a plan to evade the upcoming attack. Because, how the hell are you supposed to dodge that?!
My ears were pierced by the high-pitched meow of the cat. Making me lose focus on my footing.
I pushed my legs to keep running which made me wobbly like a half cooked noodle.
Taking into account the distance I was from the motorcycle. A dangerously short distance! I looked back which made me find my savior. And that savior took the form of a root that poked from the side of a hill. And if I can time it right!
A fucking health hazard was now gonna be my lifeline!
Thank you, mother nature!
"Hey, fish guy!"
"We're preoccupied right now, peasant! Hell do you want?!"
"That!"
I pointed at the root that poked out.
"Hit that shit with your thing!"
The fish and I seemed to have share the same braincell in that moment.
Swoosh!
A now faint red slash of energy flew at an unimpressive speed.
"Hey, hell's wrong with your eyes, dipshit!" "Nothing!"
I rolled my eyes internally.
But anyways—the ground crumbled which revealed a tree buried under the it.
Haha, yes, just as planned!
The tree now blocked the street.
Boom!
The cat fucking died.
That is what I thought at first.
But my confidence quickly turned into absolute disbelief. Because from the explosion that left a ball of smoke and debree—came the cat on a smaller fucking motorcycle!
Slower this time but what the fuck?!
"Dumb fuck, look out!"
The next moment, I found my leg folded on its own as I stepped on a rock. Like yin and yang, nature needed balance.
This time around, mother nature was going to kill me!
Shit! I can't be falling now!
Miraculously, unlike how I usually do at gym class before, I managed to land safely without breaking a single bone. My legs somehow crossed by themselves, putting me in a meditating pose. My pants now a mess as they were destroyed from the glide, revealing my Ven Tyen boxers! Well at least now there's some distance!
"Fucking loser! There's no time to get enlightened now!" The fish in my pockets who poked its head out of it, screamed at me. The fish's eyes seemed to widen and his jaw tightened.
How the hell can a fish do all that?!
And more importantly, why the fuck is it trying to swim into my pants!?
"He-hey, not there!"
I shoved my hand into my pocket, trying to yank out the imposter that was trying to dig it's way to my excalibur. With the ruckus the it caused, I leaned to my side in order to get a deeper reach.
Swoosh!
The place where I originally was sitting on, was now nothing but a deep long crater!
Holy shit, that could have been me!
This fish, it's a saint!
A perverted saint!
"Again!"
A muffled shout came from the fish that stopped it's cave diving. Because, this time, it didn't need to dig towards my family's jewls.
I threw myself to the other side, knowing that I couldn't dodge it with my capabilities. 2 of my ribs decided to bite the dust as my back did a Michael Jackson lean. At least I manged to dodge the blow, but didn't account for where the hell my head was about to drop.
And so I started to cosplay an ostrich with my head buried under ground!
"Stupid fuck, why the hell did you do that?!"
"Shut up you perverted saint! I don't know what the hell I'm doing!"
Wind blew towards my head again, barely being able to open my eyes, I saw it again.
It was of course the cat that wielded his oversized blade. The blade, now actually looking at it, was actually held in an incredibly ludicrous way by a ludicrous creature. Not only that it didn't actually aim it's blade directly at me, but to my—goofy?!
Shit! I haven't even gotten a girlfriend yet! I can't manage to already lose the little of inches I have!
My breath raced out of my lungs as I frantically pulled myself out of the hole. Death was knocking on the door.
"fuuUCKK!!!"
"SHIKUKO, YOU WILL DIE TODAY!!!"
"Hopeless shit! Goddamn it!"
The fish swam out of my pants then dropped to the ground.
"Guess I'll have to do the job myself. Hold on, fucker, were going swimming!"
I stopped questioning it but, how the hell does it have a smirk on its face?!
The thought of death got evicted out of my mind, strangely for this fishy guy, he sure was reliable!
And with that, I held on to the fish's tail like how I did with my pants back in preschool.
Fuck you, Tod!
The solid street, rippled like water when the fish made c
ontact with it.
Did this fish just?!
"What the hell?!"
The street had turned into a thick ocean!