"This… can't be happening…"
I tightened my grip on my phone, the screen blurring as I read Remi's message for the tenth time while lying in bed at 1:00 a.m.
"This… can't be true!"
No matter how many times I reread that single line, the words remained fixed, unmoving.
It had been only two days since I last hung out with my boyfriend. Maybe it was my ego, but I thought that day was perfect—magical, even. Clearly, that feeling wasn't mutual.
I bit down hard on my lip, struggling to contain the tears. No… It's not over yet. There must be some kind of mistake!
I swiped out of Remi's chat and opened his instead. My fingers flew across the keyboard and clicked send before I could even think. "Are you cheating on me?"
He read it instantly. The "typing" bubbles appeared, then vanished, then appeared again. "What are you talking about? Why would you think that?"
I didn't slow down. "Don't treat me like I'm stupid. My friends caught you at the mall today with another girl. Who is she?!"
He didn't respond right away. Then—"Luna, I need you to calm down for me."
Something inside me snapped before I could even finish reading his text. Calm down? I clenched my teeth, a seething breath leaking through the gaps. How am I supposed to calm down right now?!
I slammed my thumbs against the screen so hard that my acrylics tore—but the pain didn't register. "Don't tell me what to do! And why are you avoiding the question?! Do you have something to hide?!"
He didn't reply with words. He sent a single shrugging emoji. The sheer arrogance of it hit me like a physical blow. The nerve! Then, the paragraph came.
"Luna, I'm not cheating on you. Is there any proof? How do you know this friend of yours isn't tricking you? Do you trust her over me? It sounds like she's just trying to get between us. Please, believe me, Luna. I believe in you with all my heart, and I hope you will do the same. I love you."
I scoffed. Remi? Lie to me? What reason would she have to–
Suddenly, the foggy memory of our conversation in the cafeteria resurfaced. I recalled the way she'd asked about him, analyzing everything about her down to the pitch of her voice.
Was it just me, or did she sound a little… annoyed?
I felt a wave of nausea surge through my stomach. I covered my mouth to keep Mom from hearing the sound of my muffled gag—so violent it seemed to shake even the shadows in my room.
I looked at my trembling hands. It wasn't just the way she talked. Her smile, too… it had looked forced.
Is she jealous? Is she mad that I haven't been around as much?
A silent sob wracked my body in the darkness, almost like something was trying to tear itself out of my chest.
Is she just lying to me?
Is my boyfriend lying to me?
Who can I trust?
What… am I supposed to do?
I pulled my knees to my chest, burying my face. The tears stained my kneecaps, but I didn't care anymore.
If this is how it's going to be… then I'd rather be alone.
Time continued to pass as I remained completely still. Or maybe it didn't. It felt like both an eternity and only a second all at once.
Whatever. I… don't feel like doing anything anymore.
My phone buzzed, a pale stream of light cutting through the room. I didn't look—but the light lingered, like it was waiting for me. After a few seconds, I reluctantly glanced at the screen. It was a text from Remi. Without even opening her message, I turned the screen off.
I'm not in the mood to talk to you right now.
Then, it buzzed again. I sighed irritably and looked again. This time, it was a text from my boyfriend.
My heart dropped, and my thoughts paused.
I knew that I shouldn't, but I just felt compelled to read it. No—not wanted. Needed. Maybe there was still hope. Maybe—our relationship could be saved.
I knew it was nothing more than a delusion, and yet—
I opened our messages.
"Luna, I apologize for dumping all of this on you. I should have been more patient and listened to you better. That is all on me. Take all the time you need. When you're ready to talk, I'll be there. Just know that I'll always love you." He ended it with a heart emoji.
In the depths of my dark room, a broken, hollow smile crept across my face. I tried to push it down, but it didn't budge.
No… this is wrong. I shouldn't do this—
But my hands were already typing. "I'm sorry—I overreacted—I just—"
Stop. You have to stop! You can't send that message! Where is your self-respect?!
The message was finished. All that was left was to send it. If I pressed that button—there was no going back. My thumb drifted toward the send button, hovering over the point of no return.
Don't! Don't do it!
Just as it began to lower, a new notification from someone I least expected appeared at the top of my screen, freezing me in place.
It was a message from… Hoshino. We had never texted before this moment. To make matters stranger, he hadn't written me anything. He just sent four images.
I could have ignored him. I should have settled things with my boyfriend first. But seeing this thin ray of hope—I forced my thumb away from the send button and opened my messages with Hoshino.
The moment those images loaded, something inside me shattered. A wailing sob broke out of my chest before I could even stop it. A sound so visceral it didn't even feel like mine.
Moments later, my door burst open as Mom ran into the room. I didn't want her to know. I didn't want anyone to know. I tried to hide under my covers. But it was already too late.
The truth was already on my screen.