Chapter 98: Life is Always Full of Disasters
Masahiko sat on a mound in Shikkotsu Forest, sighing incessantly.
"No wonder the Eight Inner Gates is a forbidden jutsu. Better use it sparingly in the future..."
A full month had passed since the battle in the Land of Rivers. Masahiko had been unconscious for half a month, and after another half month of rest, his whole body still ached.
"Being 'Uzumaki Skirmish' was fine. Why did I have to change it to 'Uzumaki Kyūhai' (Seeker of Defeat)? I almost got Tobirama defeated..."
Over the past half month, Masahiko had also been reflecting on himself. Relying on his foreknowledge and superior strength, he had looked down on Kumogakure and brazenly framed Iwagakure.
Now, retribution had come. This single battle had cost him half his life.
Looking at his status bar, Masahiko sighed again.
Name: Uzumaki Masahiko
Age: 67 (-)
Nin: 1108 (+)
Tai: 402 (+)
Jutsu: 5133 (+)
... (omitted)
Overall Evaluation: S+
Witness Points: 300
"My life is truly full of disasters. One slip-up and I lost a level. If not for the 300 Witness Points I got from saving Tobirama, I really would have returned to square one..."
In terms of physical attributes, his stats had dropped by more than half. Part of this was due to the increase in age, but the key factor was the decline in bodily functions caused by keeping the Eight Gates open for too long.
Masahiko had hesitated for a long time these past few days but decided not to spend Witness Points on reducing his age. Since he could reduce it year by year naturally (via the system's function over time?), it was better to save the points to upgrade his seven chakra natures.
"If I hadn't wasted points on things like Sculpting and Gambling, my seven natures would have all been Level 8 long ago. Then I might have been able to insta-kill Kinkaku and Ginkaku..."
Since the Valley of the End, Masahiko had completely relaxed his training, believing that nothing could threaten him anymore.
However, after this battle, he realized he was still far behind Madara and Hashirama. His current level was: he could thrash two S-ranks, fight three, struggle against four, risk his life against five, and had to run against six...
Although even Konoha could probably only muster five or six S-rank ninjas, and it was unlikely he would be besieged by so many people...
Masahiko felt that with his way of courting death, it was hard to say... Didn't he just provoke five S-rank ninjas in this battle and almost get Tobirama killed?
"And none of my objectives were achieved..." The Lightning Release Chakra Mode he wanted to learn was gone. He didn't know where he had blasted the Third Raikage to... He hadn't retrieved the Nine-Tails chakra; it had been taken to the Pure Land by Kinkaku and Ginkaku... He didn't know where the Sage of Six Paths' tools had been blown to either, and he hadn't had time to retrieve them.
"At least Tobirama didn't die..."
"Lord Masahiko, time to eat..." A clone of the Slug Sage interrupted his random thoughts.
"Oh, got it... Grass again? I feel like I'm deficient in meat, Lady Katsuyu."
"There are no other animals in Shikkotsu Forest. Where am I supposed to find meat for you?"
...
After hastily eating a few mouthfuls of grass, Masahiko felt like he was turning green. He couldn't stand life in Shikkotsu Forest anymore.
He found the Slug Sage. Tobirama was still enveloped by the Slug Sage's body, showing no signs of waking up.
Masahiko frowned. "Lady Katsuyu, how is Tobirama doing?"
"His injuries were severe. Before, I could only use Senjutsu chakra to keep him alive. He only started recovering slowly recently."
"How long will it take for him to recover?" Masahiko asked.
"I can't say for sure. It depends on his own recovery ability. At minimum, three months. At most, probably a year."
"That long..." Masahiko muttered. "Won't his body have problems if he doesn't eat for that long?"
Even the strongest ninja couldn't fast like in xianxia novels. In fact, the stronger they were, the more they ate. Even Masahiko needed two meals a day now, and that was just eating grass. If there was meat, he felt he could eat eight meals a day...
"It doesn't matter. While he is enveloped in my body, I infuse him with the nutrients he needs daily," the Slug Sage said slowly.
Masahiko looked weirded out. "Slugs infusing nutrients? What is it... slug milk? Tobirama sure is lucky..."
"You survived your half-month coma the same way..." the Slug Sage added.
Masahiko's expression froze on his face. After a long while, he let out a long breath. "My life really is full of disasters."
Masahiko shook his head. He couldn't stay in Shikkotsu Forest any longer.
"Slug Sage, I came to say goodbye. Tobirama and I have been missing for so long, and Konoha is still at war with Sunagakure. I'm a bit worried."
"When Tobirama recovers, notify me, and I'll come back."
"Go..." The Slug Sage agreed, and Masahiko turned to leave.
Leaving Shikkotsu Forest, Masahiko looked at the five giant Rashomon gates and muttered, "Where did Hashirama put the Rashomon contract? Should I sign it...?" Masahiko felt he was lacking in defensive ninjutsu.
"This shouldn't be far from the battlefield between Konoha and Sunagakure. I'll go take a look first."
Masahiko flew rapidly, arriving at the battlefield in just over ten minutes.
"No one's here?" Masahiko activated his sensory abilities fully. He looked at the various ninja tools and two types of forehead protectors that hadn't been completely buried by the sand.
"Whew... thank goodness. judging by the tools and forehead protectors, Konoha's casualties are less than a third of Sunagakure's. It should be a major victory for Konoha, an overwhelming one..." Masahiko breathed a sigh of relief.
Having confirmed this, Masahiko wasn't in a hurry anymore. He flew slowly toward Konoha. He knew that since the war was won, the only thing left in the village was internal strife.
"They're probably fighting over the position of the Third Hokage right now. Let them fight. It'll be amusing to see their expressions when I return to the village." Masahiko looked mischievous.
Masahiko's current image was vastly different from before. Previously, maintaining his transformation kept him looking 53, which wasn't too old for an Uzumaki, barely past his prime. But now, at 67, Masahiko didn't need a transformation. He was a little old man. His red hair had turned completely white, and his face was full of wrinkles. Unless it was someone who knew him well, they wouldn't recognize him immediately.
"This look saves me from using the Transformation Jutsu... However, I won't enter through the main gate."
Masahiko arrived at the west side of Konoha. The main gate opened to the south.
"Entering from here is fine. I designed Konoha's barrier..." Masahiko muttered. Sneaking into Konoha was much easier than sneaking into Kumogakure.
"I never really noticed before, but the west side of Konoha is really nice. Mountains, water, forests..."
Masahiko looked up, and his expression changed drastically.
"What the hell!"
An unidentified object smashed right onto him. Masahiko lay on the ground, smiling bitterly. He had just been admiring the scenery and got distracted for a second.
He looked at what was on top of him. It seemed to be a person. "People commit suicide by jumping off cliffs in the Naruto world too? My life is always full of disasters..."
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