The next lessons felt like a quiet dance.
His feelings couldn't chase after his heart, he couldn't keep up with the love he hold.
After all the air left his lungs,he had to like boys.
He was weak and useless,he wasn't strong or proud of himself.He couldn't do anything a realman could.
He feared boys,they were stronger than him and looked down to him.They locked his heart in chains,
squeezing all the blood out.
Noxan always took a distance from them,he saw them in big black figures holding their words as weapons.There punches knew where it hurt the most.
Every bruise he carried through them was a scream of need,the need of love and help.
Noxan was confused how the animal he feared the most,was the only one he could love.
*Were all the bear traps secretly a trap in my heart, ripping through my skin for the warmth in me.*
He looked at boys with hate,his eyes burned in rage.
While tears dropped down his face holding love his heart can't.
His mouth spoke words of rage, whispering his fear, while biting in love.
Noxan looked at Sylas empty seat.His vision was blurry,but he didn't care.
*You wouldn't help,or would you?
You don't know me,you can't feel the blood I pound to you,even though I would do anything for you.
I look at you seeing you smiling,
Im worried about you.Where do you release your stress, doesn't everyone fight?*
Noxans seatpartner noticed how Noxans eyes burned in sweet tears,he looked at him worried.
He wanted to ask him if he's fine,but the fear his mouth whispered scared him.Noxan didn't say a word but his mouth formed words.It looked like
"You're the only shadow I wanna burn in"
Noxan turned his look in to front as it became clearer.
He looked on the clock watching each second pass.
Noxan asked himself why he can't spin without problems,why every move he makes feel like a mistake.Why every hour he turns he has to feel like hell.
The smoke entered his lungs poisoning him till his heart crumbled.His tears instantly vaporized away, allowing nobody to see his pain.
He closed his eyes letting his head gently fall on the table.Noxan started to cry while nobody could see him.His sweet tears turned bitter and salty.
He felt the bigbalck figures leaning over him, watching everyone move he takes not letting him make one single mistake in this dance of his.
It was his dance, that others created.
Noxan imaged how he cried in the corner where the shadows cover him.The big and black monster saw him and pointed at him,they laughed with cuts.
As they reached Noxan his skin started to bleed,
It got stretched till all his emotions left his body,
Leaving him dead behind.
A last dance he had to see, in the darkness he lost himself.