"I call you Shia... But you always call me Duke. Why? I don't like it at all, it feels as if there is a boundary between us, so from now on, I want you to call me Shahr."
Shahr... That's what I call him, in my mind. But how can I call him that openly? I feel shy even imagining calling him with that name.
"Shia," Shahr called my name. Our gaze met. His gaze was filled with compassion which I wasn't able to ignore, "Do you not like me?"
His face dropped, "Why would you like me? I'm a monster, who kills people mercilessly. I have no feelings, I'm just a-"
Before he could utter another word, I abruptly covered his mouth with my hands. If I could speak, I would tell him not to call himself a monster.
I have seen real monsters in my life, and I can very clearly say that Shahr isn't a monster, because monsters only care about themselves, beat people, abuse their power, trample on people below them, and my Shahr was nothing like that at all.
I shook my head... The hot air coming out of his mouth was sparking new feelings inside of me... Such feelings that are too dirty to describe openly.
His lips kept tingling my palms. I moved to draw my hand back, but they were caught by Shahr before I could do anything.
Gently yet tightly pressing his hand on mine, he uttered, "Stay."
One word, yet it described everything to me that needed to be explained.
"Shia." His soft voice whispered, "May I hold you in my arms?"
I nodded. His arms immediately wrapped around me and took me tight in his embrace. No gaps left between us.
"Will you call me Shahr? I have been waiting for you to call me that." Uttered Shahr.
What would he achieve by my calling him Shahr? It's not like I have a voice; he cannot hear my voice. I will only gesture his name, so why does it matter to him so much?
Will it give him any satisfaction if I gesture his name? If it were me, it wouldn't give me any, but... Everyone feels different, I can't judge Shahr's feelings based on my own.
I slowly nodded my head, Shahr jumped up in happiness. Patiently, he waited for me to gesture his name while I struggled to do a simple task as such.
It's not that I didn't know how to gesture his name, but the thing is that I was feeling heavily shy from inside. Heat rushed to my face, and my hands trembled in excitement as I showed him what he wanted to see.
His cheeks flushed red, he tried to take me in his embrace again, but this time he lost balance and we both collapsed on the bed.
Everything became blurry while falling to the bed but when my sight returned, I found Shahr on top of me. My hands on his chest, and his hands on my head.
His eyes were as wide as mine were. Though not moving, I could still feel his leg between my legs, which made me feel like dying from embarrassment.
"Duke..." I gestured.
"Again?"
"Sh-ahr."
A flirtatious smile appeared on Shahr's face. I could tell he felt quite satisfied. After Shahr got up he helped me to get up too. It was quite... No, very, very, VERY embarrassing.
Our legs touching each other's legs, my hands touching his firm chest, everything just made me feel utter embarrassment.
"Shahr?"
"Shia... I'm overjoyed today. I feel as if I'm the luckiest man alive. I cannot describe how much happiness I'm having inside of me right now." His lips reached his eyes, his pearl-like teeth glittered as he uttered these.
Though I couldn't understand his happiness, I still wanted to take part in this. I gave a soft smile and nodded my head slowly.
.
.
.
Sitting near the window, I was enjoying my embroidery time when Simly came near me and uttered, "Duchess, a carnival festival has started near the riverbank. Why don't you ask the Duke to take you there?"
My eyes shimmered in excitement, a festival? I have never been to one before.
Understanding my excitement, Simly let out a soft chuckle, "I want to suggest something, only if you allow me to."
Suggest? Tilting my head to the side I wondered what it could be. I nodded my head and Simply uttered.
"Tell the Duke, that you want to go to the festival alone with him. No guards."
With questionable eyes, I stared at Simly. Why should we go alone?
"That way you will be able to spend some alone time with the Duke." She teases me. My cheeks burned.
Through the window glass, I stared at the open field where Shahr was doing his sword training. My heart also screamed that it wanted to be alone with Shahr, I even started manifesting everything we would do in the festival.
I abruptly shot to my feet and rushed towards the field. From the corner of his eyes, Shahr noticed me rushing to him; he stopped.
"Duke... I heard there is a carnival festival going on." I tried my best but still couldn't hide my excitement. The reasons why I was so excited were that, first, I would attend a festival for the very first time in my life, and the second reason was that I would attend it with Shahr.
Shahr chuckled softly, "Let's go there. The festival is more magnificent at night, so if we depart now, it will be night by the time we reach there."
Shahr got dressed and we headed for the carriage. Turning my head, I saw two guards following us. My cheeks puffed up, I wanted to be alone with Shahr.
Holding onto Shahr's shirt sleeve, I pulled it. He turned his head towards me, "Yes, Shia?"
With my hand, I gestured to him to come closer to me, and he leaned closer. I went to say something in Shahr's ear when it suddenly hit me that I can't talk, so what was I going to whisper? Why did I even signal him to lean closer?
My cheeks burned red from embarrassment, while Shahr stared at me, being confused by my actions.
"Ahem..." I cleared my throat, as if clearing my throat would clear the embarrassment I had just caused, so stupid of me. How could I forget that I'm mute?
"D- Shahr." I almost called him Duke again, "I want to go to the festival alone with you." I can't explain in words how much guts it took me to gesture this small sentence.
Shahr, stunned by my gestures, stood there frozen for seconds, then quickly regaining his posture, he uttered, "Is that so? If that is what my wife wants I can not refuse it."
Though he tried to hide it but I could see those lips trying to curl up.
Shahr instructed those guards not to follow us. We both sat in the carriage and headed for my first-ever festival viewing.
I kept stomping my foot in excitement and eagerly kept sneaking some peeks outside to see whether we had reached or not.
"It's my first time seeing you so excited." Exclaimed Shahr.
"Yes, because it's my first time going to a festival."
In excitement, I forgot what should be mentioned and what shouldn't be.
"First time?" Shahr questioned.
My expressions froze, my body became stiff, and I realised what I had just uttered. I quickly had to think of an excuse before Shahr questions me more.
"Umm umm... I used to be very fragile as a kid, so my parents became overprotective of me, that's why they didn't let me go to any festivals ever."
"Oh, I see," Shahr replied. I let go of a sigh of relief.
"By the way, how was your childhood?" I asked in curiosity.
"My childhood?" Shahr scoffed, for which reason I couldn't find, "My childhood was plain, boring, not fun."
"Why?"
"Since my parents died when I was a kid, my relatives tried to take over the house. Some tried to kill me, while some tried to win me over, and because of these reasons, I had to take over the Barony at a young age.
Hearing Shahr's story, my heart filled up with pity for him. I knew Shahr wasn't someone pitiable, he is brave, strong, unlike me, but still I couldn't help but feel sorry for him.
I wanted to pull him into my embrace and hold him tight to my chest. As my mind was busy with such thoughts we had reached the festival.
The coanchman opened the door uttering, "Duke... Duchess, we have arrived."
When I got down to the scene in front of me, it stunned me completely. There were rides, different food shops, toy shops, jewellery shops, joker houses, anything and everything one can imagine.
As far as eyes went only the festival could be seen.
Shahr's hand slipped into mine. Tightly holding my hand he uttered, "Hold me tightly so you don't get lost."