She slowly opened her eyes to find herself in the lovely cinema theater, surrounded by motionless humans who were, as usual, missing the apocalypse memo. As she gazed up at the ceiling, she thought, "Oh, it's this one again." The cracks and stains were like old friends—familiar, but definitely not contributing to the rent. She let out a deep sigh. "Seriously? Another zombie apocalypse? Ugh."
This was her tenth time around, and she was starting to feel like she was trapped in a really low-budget version of Groundhog Day. Everything looked the same, everyone was still asleep (seriously, did they not hear the screaming?), and she was, of course, still rocking the zombie look. But, she had to admit, this time around, her body felt a bit better. Her skin was still grey, but it was softer and more supple than before. Maybe she was finally hitting her undead stride? And her nails! Oh, her nails were looking fabulous. They were long, black, and shiny, like she'd been hitting up the zombie nail salon. She wasn't sure if she was getting more human-like with each rebirth, but at least she was looking good for the end of the world. Again. Silver linings, right?
She was starting to lose hope. Would she ever find a way to break this cycle and move on to the afterlife? Or was she stuck here forever, reliving the same moments over and over again? Only time would tell, she supposed. For now, she'd just have to keep on trudging along, zombie-style. You know, the usual.
She was a zombie, stuck in a loop where the world kept ending and she kept coming back to life. It was like she was stuck in some kind of messed-up video game, and she was starting to lose her undead mind. She'd been reborn nine times already, and this was take ten, and each time, she'd tried to change the course of events. She'd been the hero (didn't go well), the villain (slightly more successful, but still no dice), the protagonist, and even the annoying sidekick who gets killed in the first five minutes (surprisingly relaxing, actually). But no matter what she did, the outcome was always the same—the world ended, and she got to start all over again. Talk about a predictable plot twist.
She'd tried everything. She'd been a zombie queen, ruling over a kingdom of undead with an iron fist (or should she say, iron teeth? Never gets old). She'd been a hero, saving the world from certain doom (spoiler alert: it doesn't work. Maybe the doom has tenure?). She'd even tried being a bystander, just standing around and watching as the world burned. But nope, nothing seemed to work. Apparently, the universe had a serious case of déjà vu.
It was getting old. Like, ancient-brain-matter old. She was starting to think she'd never figure out how to break this cycle. She'd seen the worst of humanity, and let her tell you, it wasn't pretty. She'd seen people eating [crap], fighting over toilet paper (the apocalypse: bringing out the worst in people since whenever it started), and generally being super gross. She was just trying to find a way to stop this madness, but it was like she was stuck in a never-ending nightmare. And she was starting to think she needed a new mattress.
She was running out of ideas. Should she just give up and chill? Maybe start a zombie book club? Or was there something she was missing? Maybe if she did something different this time, things would turn out okay. But what if she was just stuck in this loop forever? Ugh, her brain hurt just thinking about it. And that's saying something, considering.
You know what would be great? If someone would just give her a hint or something. Like, "Hey, zombie girl, try this one thing and you'll break the cycle." But nope, she was stuck figuring it out on her own. Thanks, universe. Real helpful.
She guessed she'd just have to keep trying. Maybe she'd try being a zombie therapist, helping other zombies work through their undead issues ("So, tell me about the cravings…"). Or maybe she'd try being a zombie chef, cooking up some…interesting…dishes for the undead masses. Maybe she could even get a cooking show! Who knows? Maybe one of these times, she'd stumble upon the secret to breaking this cycle. Or else, she'd just keep on trudging along, trying to find a way to escape this never-ending loop. Wish her luck! (Or not. I mean, she's a zombie. She's already pretty much doomed. But hey, a girl can hope…sort of.)