Chapter 49: Jiraiya and Tsunade (Part 2)
Jiraiya carried Tsunade back to her home.
It was a massive, yet simple wooden house.
When Jiraiya pushed open the aged wooden door, its hinges gave a soft creak, a sound exceptionally clear in the quiet courtyard.
The Senju emblem in the living room had long since faded, and large chunks of red lacquer had peeled off the load-bearing pillars.
"Easy now, watch the step," Jiraiya whispered. Feeling Tsunade sway, he quickly reached out to steady her waist.
Tsunade leaned into his embrace, her golden hair brushing his collar. She reeked of alcohol, but her mind seemed clearer than before. Her gaze landed on the faded Senju emblem, her expression growing complicated.
"This house... it hasn't changed," she murmured, reaching out as if to touch the emblem on the beam, but stopping mid-air. "Last time I came back, I wanted to repaint it. But... I forgot again."
Jiraiya followed her gaze and sighed softly.
He helped her to a chair to rest for a moment. His hand accidentally brushed the backrest, collecting a thin layer of dust. Even though she had returned to Konoha, it seemed she rarely set foot here.
"There's plenty of time later," he said, crouching in front of her. "Whenever you want to paint it, I'll help. I'll carry the bucket, I'll use the brush. You just stand there and give orders."
Tsunade looked at the crouching Jiraiya, took a deep breath, and said nothing.
After a while, she finally spoke. "I'm tired. Help me to the bedroom."
"Alright. Lean on me."
Jiraiya carefully helped Tsunade up. She swayed slightly, but her steps were steady enough.
The wooden floor of the hallway, long neglected, creaked under their feet.
"Wait..." Tsunade suddenly stopped. Her gaze fixed on a door at the end of the hall.
A faded teru teru bozu doll hung on the door, swaying gently in the night breeze.
Jiraiya followed her line of sight. "That's..."
"Nawaki's room."
Tsunade broke away from Jiraiya's support, stumbling to the door. Her trembling fingers brushed the yellowed doll.
"I... I haven't dared to go in."
Jiraiya stood there, watching her thin back tremble slightly.
He remembered the boy who used to chase after him years ago, calling "Big Brother Jiraiya," and felt a sharp pain in his chest.
"Do you want to go in?" he asked gently.
Tsunade shook her head. "No... not today."
When she turned around, Jiraiya saw the glint of tears in the corners of her eyes, but she quickly wiped them away.
"Let's keep going."
The bedroom door was just as old, issuing a harsh squeak when pushed open.
The air inside was stale, smelling of mildew from lack of ventilation.
Jiraiya fumbled to turn on the bedside lamp. The dim light illuminated a dusty vanity and a large bed.
"Watch your step." He guided her to the bed and carefully pulled back the covers.
"I'll go get some water."
Seeing Tsunade settled in bed, Jiraiya turned to leave, but Tsunade grabbed his arm.
"Don't go..." Her voice revealed a rare fragility. "This house is too big. Being alone... it's too quiet. Just... sit with me for a while."
Jiraiya paused, then nodded.
The two of them stayed there quietly, one lying down, one sitting. The only sounds in the room were their shallow breathing and the occasional wind outside the window.
"Did you know..." Tsunade said suddenly. "I dream of them often. Dan... and Nawaki. Every time I wake up, I..."
Jiraiya was silent for a moment, then whispered, "I know."
"You don't know anything!" Tsunade suddenly became agitated. "How could you know what it feels like to watch the most important people in your life die right in front of you?"
"Nawaki left."
"Dan left."
"And even you... even you will..."
Her voice cut off abruptly because Jiraiya suddenly took her hand.
The calluses on his palm, earned from years of wielding kunai, rubbed against her skin—rough, but warm.
"I really don't know," he said, squeezing her hand firmly. "But I know that the living must keep on living. Nawaki and Dan... they would want to see you happy."
"Besides, how could the Toad Sage of Mount Myoboku ever..."
Before he could say the word "die," Tsunade placed a finger gently on his lips.
"Don't say it."
"Don't say that word."
Jiraiya's words stuck in his throat. He had read the scroll Kakashi brought.
He knew that in the future, he would die in Amegakure while investigating Pain.
"Alright. I won't say it," Jiraiya replied.
Tsunade withdrew her finger, but her gaze remained fixed on his face.
In the dim light, his features were distinct, the lines left by age softening in the glow.
"You know," Tsunade said, her voice carrying a hint of drunkenness and an indescribable complexity. "Sometimes I think... if back then..."
"There are no 'ifs'," Jiraiya said, tucking her hand under the covers. "We all made the choices we thought were right at the time."
Tsunade's body stiffened for a moment, then slowly relaxed. She closed her eyes, resting her forehead against Jiraiya's shoulder.
The posture reminded her of years ago on the battlefield, when they were still the young Sannin, embracing in exhaustion after every mission.
"You're still so stubborn," she said, a hint of a smile in her voice.
Jiraiya pulled back slightly, looking down into her eyes. "Right back at you."
They were close enough to feel each other's breath. Jiraiya looked at Tsunade's slightly flushed cheeks and her eyes, exceptionally bright in the lamplight, and his heart beat a little faster.
"Jiraiya..." Tsunade said his name softly, so quietly it made him shiver.
"Hm?"
"Stay."
"Stay with me tonight."
Jiraiya's pupils dilated slightly. He opened his mouth but didn't know what to say.
Reason told him to refuse, but a voice deep inside him screamed to agree.
"I..." Jiraiya started, but the words didn't come out.
He could clearly feel Tsunade's hand trembling slightly—a tremor hiding unease, and also expectation.
Jiraiya took a deep breath and suddenly sat up straight, his expression serious. "Tsunade, you know how I feel about you."
The sentence froze the air in the room.
Tsunade's expression stiffened. The playfulness in her eyes faded, replaced by a complex emotion.
"I know," she finally answered. "I've always known."
Silence fell between them again.
"Then let's leave it at that." Jiraiya suddenly stood up, breaking the silence. "Rest well. Naruto is still waiting for me."
He turned to leave, but Tsunade caught his wrist.
"Just stay a little longer... please?"