Chapter 48: Jiraiya and Tsunade (Part 1)
Konoha, Evening.
"Soooo bored." Kotetsu Hagane was slumped over the desk, staring blankly at the road into the village.
"Hey, Izumo," he said, idly carving into the desk with a kunai, "why can't they let us go on other missions?"
"We're the men who took down Kakuzu, aren't we? How can we be stuck here watching the gate for the rest of our lives?"
Izumo Kamizuki kept flipping through the entry log, not even looking up. "Give it a rest. You've said that eight hundred times. Besides, 'took down Kakuzu'? That's in the future. We don't have that kind of skill right now."
"Wait, Izumo... haven't we said this before?" Kotetsu suddenly sat up straight.
"Of course we have," Izumo said, giving him a look of disdain. "Didn't we say this exact same thing when Orochimaru and Jiraiya came back?"
"Hey! Look! Someone's coming!" Kotetsu slapped Izumo's shoulder.
"What's all the fuss? It's just Lord Jiraiya." Izumo closed the logbook and looked up, then his eyes went wide. "Wait... why is someone on his back?"
"Is that...?"
"Don't look! If you want to live, forget you saw anything! We saw nothing, got it?"
Kotetsu and Izumo both sucked in a breath of cold air, simultaneously looking down and frantically flipping through the logbook.
"Wow, nice weather today! Hahaha..."
"Yeah, yeah! Not even a fly has entered the village!"
As Jiraiya stumbled past the guard post with Tsunade on his back, she suddenly raised a fist. "You pervert, Jiraiya... peek again... and I'll break your third leg..."
A strong scent of alcohol wafted over them.
At those words, Kotetsu's hands flew to his crotch as if he'd been burned.
He snuck a glance at Izumo and saw his partner in the exact same pose.
"Th-Three legs..." Kotetsu's voice trembled, his lips quivering. "Lady Tsunade is ruthless. If she really broke that... Lord Jiraiya would be..."
"Are you crazy?! Don't say that!" Izumo's face went pale. "Didn't you hear? Lady Tsunade is still nearby! If she hears us, our legs are gone!"
They buried their heads in the logbook, holding their breath until the footsteps faded into the distance.
After a long while, when the smell of alcohol was gone and the footsteps were silent, Kotetsu slowly lifted his head, looking left and right cautiously.
"G-Gone?" he whispered.
Izumo let out a long breath, slumping into his chair.
"Seems so." He grabbed his water bottle and chugged it, trying to slow his heart rate. "I can't believe Lord Jiraiya and Lady Tsunade went drinking together. Does that mean..."
Kotetsu perked up, leaning forward. "You think so too? I knew it! Lord Jiraiya treats Lady Tsunade so well, she must be feeling something, right?"
Before he could finish, Izumo glared at him. Kotetsu quickly covered his mouth. "Just saying, just saying."
Jiraiya walked through the streets of Konoha with Tsunade on his back. She was drunk, her golden hair falling down to tickle his neck.
"Stupid Jiraiya, walk faster," she mumbled, but her arms tightened around his neck.
Jiraiya stole a glance at her chin resting on his shoulder. "Any faster and you'll slide off, Princess."
"Hey, Tsunade... remember the first time we drank together?"
"Mmm..." Tsunade hummed vaguely, then suddenly squeezed his neck. "Don't mention that... you peeked at me... changing clothes..."
Jiraiya's face turned bright red. "Wh-Who peeked?! You were the one who got drunk and tore down the tent curtain!"
"Liar..." Tsunade bit his ear, hard enough to make him jump. "Your nosebleed... dripped right into your sake cup..."
"Nosebleed? You... you must have seen wrong! I wouldn't do something like that!" Jiraiya stammered.
"Seen wrong?" She let go of his ear, her tongue lightly brushing the red skin, making him stiffen. "Your nosebleed turned the sake red, and you want to deny it? Orochimaru was laughing so hard he almost died. You forgot?"
"Th-That was an accident!" Jiraiya argued. "Who knew you'd get drunk and decide to change clothes right there? You tore the curtain down! I was... I was just looking up at the moon!"
Tsunade tightened her arms, choking him slightly. "So you admit you peeked?"
"Peeked? It's a man's nature! How can you call it peeking?" Jiraiya retorted, his neck stiff.
He sped up, trying to cover his pounding heart with the sound of his footsteps, forgetting he was carrying a drunk woman.
After a few steps, Tsunade yelped, "Ah!" and swayed, gripping his neck even tighter.
"A man's nature?" Her voice was right in his ear. "Then tell me, what kind of 'man's nature' requires hiding outside a tent, staring straight at someone changing, and wiping blood on his own shirt?" She poked his chest, reminding him of his past embarrassment.
"I wasn't hiding! I was passing by! I... I was worried you'd be exposed, so I checked to make sure!" Jiraiya's voice got quieter and quieter, his gaze drifting to the bushes, abandoning the 'moon' excuse.
"Worried I'd be exposed?" She buried her face deeper into his neck, her hair tickling his nose. "Then why didn't you warn me? Instead, you stood there like a statue. You didn't even notice the blood running down your chin until Orochimaru threw a handkerchief at you."
"I... I was just in shock!" Jiraiya insisted, though he secretly adjusted his grip to make her more comfortable.
"But you know..." she paused. "That day, when you panicked and yelled, 'Tsunade, fix the curtain!'... I actually thought... you were kinda cute."
Jiraiya stopped dead. His heart hammered against his ribs—thump-thump-thump—and his mind went blank.
"Cat got your tongue?" Tsunade poked his back. "Didn't you just say 'a man's nature isn't peeking'? Why are you acting like a little kid who got caught with a crush?"
Jiraiya cleared his throat and started walking again, stiffly. "Stop talking nonsense. We're almost at your place. Don't move around, or I'm dropping you."