There comes a moment in every girl's life when she looks at herself in the mirror, mascara smudged, heart broken into a thousand pieces, and thinks: "Never again."
For me, that moment came three weeks after Francis ghosted me. I woke up, looked at my puffy-eyed reflection, and realized something important:
If men could disappear without warning, if love could break me this badly, then I was clearly playing the game wrong.
So I decided, why be the heartbreakee when I could be the heartbreaker?
Yes. That was the day I was reborn. Forget baptism. Forget new year resolutions. This was the true transformation: from mumu lover girl to certified player.
*Eva's Rules of Being a Player™*
I wrote them down in my journal like they were the Ten Commandments. They went like this:
1. Never catch feelings. Feelings are for amateurs.
2. Always have a backup. Boy A annoys you? Move to Boy B. Simple mathematics.
3. Never answer midnight calls,that's when emotions start flying around.
4. Good morning/good night texts are copy-paste only. No stress, no creativity.
5. If they cheat, laugh. Because how can you cheat on the cheat?
I memorized these rules like scripture.
And oh, I didn't waste time putting them into practice.
Suddenly, my DM was my playground. I went from "crying over Francis" to "texting three guys at once without mixing up their names."
There was Sam—cute, funny, loved sending me memes.
Then Kelvin—rich (I'm not sure) always bragged, he was what we call words with no actions
And then Dave— Obsessed with me, wrote me a song too
At night, I'd send them all the same "Goodnight babe " message and then sleep like a baby.
(Dara's Commentary)
See ehn, don't let Eva deceive you. She acted like a pro, but I swear this girl almost exposed herself one time. She accidentally sent Sam a voice note meant for Kelvin. She had to cover it up by pretending it was "a random Snapchat memory." Player my foot.
Very foolish girl
But still, I was thriving. For the first time since Francis, I felt powerful. In control. Nobody could hurt me again because I wasn't giving anyone the chance.
Dates? Oh, I went on plenty. Movie dates and so on. I became that girl. The one with options. The one who "forgot" to reply texts for two days just to keep them on their toes.
I thought I had cracked the code of life.
I thought I had finally won.
But the thing about life is, it has a wicked sense of humor.
Because just when I was enjoying my new player lifestyle, life decided to introduce me to someone who would change everything.
Her name?
Blossom.
And suddenly, all my precious rules started to shake.
(Dara's commentary)
And this girl loved dicks before thou